A Coaching Power Tool Created by Kelly Goyer
(Life Coach, CANADA)
This Power Tool was inspired from my observations of people leading externally-focused lives. I noticed that human happiness had been removed from its natural location, within us, and shifted to a place where it doesn’t exist naturally, outside of us.
Much has been externalized with the intention of the outside/external providing the inside/internal with the desired experience and the drive to get it. When we compare ourselves to others, and everything from the right job, family vacation, the right partner, the right education, the right house, the right kids, the right school, etc. etc. is analyzed with our own happiness, and self-evaluation attached to it.
This focus does not lead one to the source of their happiness, capacity for freedom, compassion, service, courage, sustainable effort, or fierce commitments. All of that exists within, on the inside, so I developed this Power Tool to help clients shift from outside obligations, societal rules, family expectations, materialistic aspirations, etc. and connect to the real source of their power, truth, passion, purpose, trust, wealth, and freedom – inside.
The power tool, Inside vs. Outside can be used under a variety of coaching client circumstances. Some examples may include a client who is challenged with:
- clarifying or defining their vision
- clarifying what they truly want
- meeting commitments
- feeling positive about achievements
- accessing their gifts and talents
- making decisions
- accessing support networks
AND, this power tool may also be used by coaches to enhance their mindfulness and process within their coaching practice. It can be used by coaches who may be experiencing challenges within the following areas:
- lack of trust in their coaching effectiveness
- deep listening within the moment
- focusing on the client and not themselves (i.e. “What question am I going to ask them next? I hope it’s the right one…”)
- the temptation to jump in and fix
- finding their niche
- self-leadership
Client Application
Questions that would assist a client in making this shift may include:
- Who would your failure in this situation affect the most?
- What do YOU really want?
- What does your innermost wisdom say about this?
- Imagine if you were financially independent and could do, be or have anything you wanted. Would you still want to do this? Would it still be rewarding for you? Why? Why not?
- How will you celebrate this accomplishment? Would that fully nourish you?
- What is your level of commitment on this? If it is less than a 10, what stands in your way?
- When was a time you felt heroic and unstoppable? Is this present challenge/goal similar to that?
- How long have you had this goal? (If more than 6 months) Why haven’t you achieved it yet?
- Are there any ‘shoulds’ involved here?
- Is your achievement of this goal dependent on anything or anyone else? Would it give anyone else their desired experience?
Coaching Self-Application
Questions that would assist a coach in making this shift may include:
- What is my vision for my coaching practice?
- What brought me to coaching?
- A time when I was laser focused on something was...
- How would I rate myself 1-10 on ‘letting go’ in a situation?
- Do I compare myself to other coaches? What comes up when I do?
- What are the qualities I possess that make me a powerfully effective coach?
- What is my mission in life? Why do I want to achieve this mission? How will the world be better when I achieve it?
- Take a deep breath. Get centred. When I’m ready, do I want to talk about my heart’s deepest calling?
- Who am I called to serve? Why?
- What would bring me the greatest joy in coaching?
- What is my design for building a coaching practice? What do I need? What is the right fit? What would be too much or not a right fit?
