A Coaching Power Tool Created by Katharine Britt
(Life Coach, UNITED STATES)
Fixed: fastened securely in position, secure, firm, stable, rooted, anchored, moored, set, established, settled, decided, agreed upon, decreed, not subject to change, inflexible, rigid, firmly set in the mind.
Flexible: the capability to adapt to the new, different or changing. Pliable, supple, bendable, workable, changeable, open to change, fluid, adaptable. The ability to cope with changes in circumstances and think about challenges and tasks in the novel, creative ways.
Which of the above definitions sounds better to you? We may have times in our lives, where being fixed is the only choice we seem capable of. Where we are stuck. We want to make a change yet cannot see a way out. We can only see what we have known before, fixed in our beliefs about the opportunity or lack of, for change.
We may not even be conscious of the inflexibility. “It is what it is”, “If only this person, place or thing would change, I would be okay.” “This is his/her fault, I am the victim here.” These beliefs may be fixed from situations in our past or input from others or fear.
“I am too old to change, quit, date, etc.”
“I would be a fool to quit this high paying job”
“Where will I go, I could be homeless”
Fear that a new choice will be worse than what we have currently can keep us anchored in our present situation. We believe we are powerless to change anything and therefore just have to stay where we are. To get out of the fixed state, we must be open to taking responsibility in our lives and our actions for what is occurring. What is our part, what can we do to improve or alter the situation and to accept the behaviours of others, and be open to shifting our behaviour? We also want to look at the reality of what the situation currently is, have we been choosing an inflexible way of looking at our current state.
To choose “flexibility” can be a shift in our beliefs. Having faith that we will be okay and a new perspective of our reality that gives us the greater potential and new opportunities. Looking at challenges as an opportunity for growth.
As a coach, powerful questions can help a client to shift to being flexible in their thoughts and new actions.
The coach will be in the “ask and invite” mode of questioning.“What” is the start of many powerful questions for a coaching session and for a client to have a safe place to explore opportunities for growth and change.
- What does this mean for you?
- What is your desired outcome?
- What needs to be resolved for this to be accomplished?
- What is the worst thing that can happen?
- What would success look like?
As coaches, partnering with our client as they explore and discover the flexibility in their options and the actions they can put into place for their transition.