A Coaching Power Tool By Jilean Beharry, Destiny Coach, TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO
Flow vs. Follow
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them
who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28, The Holy Bible.
The Flow
If we are to accept the above statement as a given, then it presupposes that when we love God, everything that happens in our lives will serve His divine purpose in a good way. In a loving relationship, trust is paramount. When we are able to trust God, then we learn to “let go” and go with the flow because we know that the one who loves us will always have our best interests at heart.
God sets the course, as the creator, He knows the purpose for which we were all created. Therefore, as long as we remain connected to Him and committed to His purpose for our lives, He brings all His intentions for our lives to pass in His timing. Where there is faith and trust, we begin to operate in “the flow”.
Faith
The WHS Concise Dictionary defines faith as follows:
- A strong or unshakable belief in something esp. without proof
- Christianity- a trust in God and in His actions and promises
- Complete confidence or trust in a person or remedy etc.
Questions:
- If you knew you couldn’t fail, would you worry about anything?
- If you knew that ALL things will work for your good, would you fear?
- Would you “step out” in action if you couldn’t “see” or didn’t know exactly how everything would work out?
Where there is love, there is faith and perfect love casts out all fear.
Follow
Follow speaks more to form than substance. A person operating in “follow” is more concerned about what things “look like” and how they will be perceived by others. The focus is more on structure, what already exists, what we can see, what can be prepared beforehand, and having all the information. Most times, the need to “follow” comes from a place of fear.
Fear in contrast to faith stops the flow… “Fear hath torment” and keeps us bound. In fear, we have a need to “control” situations, people, and outcomes. We get into “telling” and “following” as we are unable to trust beyond what we “see.”
So often, in fear, we’re waiting until we have all the answers before we move with what our spirit is telling us or what the situation demands. We interrupt the flow and short-circuit the “right” answers. If we could only have some “proof” or more information, then we could “follow” what nature says. Everything in the natural realm has its genesis in the spirit realm. So, what we see is not half as important as what we don’t.
For example, we can’t see the roots of a tree, but we know they are there, supporting it.
Follow keeps us on the beaten path bound to the expectations of others, “in the box”, following the path that has already been made instead of carving a new path for ourselves. Follow renders us stuck, or keeps us in procrastination and “I don’t know.”
We see follow in the coaching scenario where a coach has an agenda, or when he/she tries to have all the “powerful questions” in order to prepare for any path the session may go down, rather than going with the flow.
T. Harv Eker in his book “The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” tells us, “It’s nuts to think you can know everything that may happen in the future. It’s delusional to believe you can prepare for every circumstance that might someday occur and protect yourself from it…Life doesn’t travel in perfectly straight lines. It moves more like a winding river.” The nature of life is not linear and trying to “follow” a set of rules in order often creates dissonance. Understanding the spirit and intention of the law and flowing from a place of truth creates peace.
Flow vs. Follow Scenario
Scenario 1- Client in “Follow”
Susan is “stuck” with taking the steps she knows she must make her business grow. She has all that she needs to get it done, yet she says that she “does not know” what is keeping her from getting it done. Deeper probing reveals that she thinks she is a “perpetual student” and has to keep learning more and gathering more information before she makes a step. Truth is, she is afraid of failure having “followed” someone else’s advice on how she should have done things in the past, without success.
By asking her whether there was any other area of her life where she has had success without having “all the information,” Susan was able to acknowledge that she is a great mother and that she hasn’t been “following” a manual but deals with whatever comes up, and then presses on. This awareness shifted her from a place of following to a place of flow, where she was able to trust that she has what she needs and is able to handle whatever arises. Hurdles did not mean that she was a failure, but that they could be jumped over and she could go on to win the race. She was able to value the unique gifts within herself and got the courage to follow “her” own path.
Scenario 2- Coach in “Follow”
A coach flowed with a client throughout the session with the client being “in control” and having power, and at the end shifts power from the client to herself because she was trying to “follow” the coaching process “correctly” and felt she had to make the client accountable. Instead of just going with the flow when the client says she would let her know how things go, the coach doubles back and second-guesses by then asking the client if it was fine for her to “check-in” and see how she was doing. This actually changed the energy at the very end.
There is one interesting thing to note however when discussing Flow and Follow. There are times when “follow” can serve us well. We are required to “let go” of self, fully trusting our spirit (following its lead) and the process (flow), and follow the client’s lead. This is where the POWER in the session lies.
In other words, operating in the flow means being guided or led by the Spirit and not following the soul (mind, will, emotions) or self-ish part of us.
Flow operates from the Spirit, and follow operates from the soul (mind, will emotions). From our, Spirit flows truth, intuition, and knowing…even when our mind and emotions tell us something different.
Reflection:
- How often has our self-talk been limiting and negative?
- Can you think of a time when you allowed your emotions to take you down the wrong path?
- How can our own opinions and judgments disempower others?
- Have you ever “known” something deep within your being without having any evidence of it in the natural realm?
Flow, Follow, and Their Impact on Our Being
Our Spirit is our internal guidance system, but it finds expression through our bodies. The way we feel in our being can actually be a way of telling us whether we’re in flow or following. It can tell us whether we’re doing the “right” or “wrong” thing. As we learn to pay attention to and trust what our being is telling us, we will begin to operate in greater awareness and truth. We will be flowing… In the flow of the Spirit, there is peace (even when we make difficult decisions), love, and freedom. In follow, there is anxiety, fear, insecurity, doubt, bondage, etc.
The Substance and Power Of Flow vs. Follow
There are times when the structure is needed or some sort of general direction, however, it becomes counter-productive when we are too rigid to not adapt as life throws us its curve balls. It is one thing to know where you want to go in life, and entirely another to want to plan down to the milli-detail how all of it is going to happen. Life happens, and if we remain open to the flow of it and view things as all working for our good, we will be able to use the perceived “setbacks” as stepping stones and precious nuggets, rich with learning. In this light, there would be fewer disappointments, or at the very least, we’ll be able to get over it quicker, and not allow it to get us “stuck.”
In the flow of the Spirit, there are only possibilities as we tap into the realm of the supernatural. If we could let go of the form, we will begin to flow in the substance and POWER of the Flow.
Reflection:
Was there a time when fear caused you to try to control or manipulate others? What effect did it have on yourself and others?
Has following ever led you down a path where you felt anxious or disempowered?
Can you think of a time when Follow served you well? How so?
How does it feel when you Flow?
Is there a relationship between Flow and commitment?
