Power Tool: Flow vs. Follow

Coaching Power Tool created by Jilean Beharry
(Destiny Coach, TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO)

Reading

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them
who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28, The Holy Bible.

The Follow

If we are to accept the above statement as a given, then it presupposes that when we love God, everything that happens in our lives will serve His divine purpose in a good way. In a loving relationship, trust is paramount. When we are able to trust God, then we learn to “let go” and go with the flow because we know that the one who loves us will always have our best interest at heart.

God sets the course, as the creator, He knows the purpose for which we were all created. Therefore, as long as we remain connected to Him and committed to His purpose for our lives, He brings all His intentions for our lives to pass in His timing. Where there is faith and trust, we begin to operate in “the flow”.

Faith

The WHS Concise Dictionary defines faith as follows:

1. Strong or unshakable belief in something esp. without proof
2. Christianity- a trust in God and in His actions and promises
3. Complete confidence or trust in a person or remedy etc.

Questions:

• If you knew you couldn’t fail, would you worry about anything?
• If you knew that ALL things will work for your good, would you fear?
• Would you “step out” in action if you couldn’t “see” or didn’t know exactly how everything would work out?

Where there is love, there is faith and perfect love casts out all fear.

Follow

Follow speaks more to form than substance. A person operating in “follow” is more concerned about what things “look like” and how they will be perceived by others. The focus is more on structure, what already exists, what we can see, what can be prepared before- hand, having all the information. Most times, the need to “follow” comes from a place of fear.

Fear in contrast to faith stops the flow… “Fear hath torment” and keeps us bound. In fear, we have a need to “control” situations, people and outcomes. We get into “telling” and “following” as we are unable to trust beyond what we “see.”

So often, in fear, we’re waiting until we have all the answers before we move with what our spirit is telling us or what the situation demands. We interrupt the flow and short circuit the “right” answers. If we could only have some “proof” or more information, then we could “follow” what the natural says. Everything in the natural realm has its genesis in the spirit realm. So, what we see is not half as important as what we don’t.

For example, we can’t see the roots of a tree, but we know they are there, supporting it.

Follow keeps us on the beaten path bound to the expectations of others, “in the box”, following the path that has already been made instead of carving a new path for ourselves. Follow renders us stuck, or keeps us in procrastination and “I don’t know.”

We see follow in the coaching scenario where a coach has an agenda, or when he/she tries to have all the “powerful questions” in order to prepare for any path the session may go down, rather than going with the flow.

T Harv Eker in his book “The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” tells us, “It’s nuts to think you can know everything that may happen in the future. It’s delusional to believe you can prepare for every circumstance that might someday occur and protect yourself from it…Life doesn’t travel in perfectly straight lines. It moves more like a winding river.” The nature of life is not linear and trying to “follow” a set of rules in order often creates dissonance. Understanding the spirit and intention of the law and flowing from a place of truth creates peace.

Coaching Application:

Scenario 1- Client in “Follow”

Susan is in “stuck” with taking the steps she knows she must to make her business grow. She has all that she needs to get it done, yet she says that she “does not know” what is keeping her from getting it done. Deeper probing reveals that she thinks she is the “perpetual student” and has to keep learning more and gathering more information before she makes a step. Truth is, she is afraid of failure having “followed” someone else’s advice on how she should have done things in the past, without success.

By asking her whether there was any other area of her life where she has had success without having “all the information,” Susan was able to acknowledge that she is a great mother and that she hasn’t been “following” a manual, but deals with whatever comes up, and then presses on. This awareness shifted her from a place of follow to a place of flow, where she was able to trust that she has what she needs and is able to handle whatever arises. Hurdles did not mean that she was a failure, but that they could be jumped over and she could go on to win the race. She was able to value the unique gifts within herself and got the courage to follow “her” own path.