A Coaching Power Tool Created by Jessica Kosine
(Life Coach, UNITED STATES)
The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life. Wayne Dyer
Differentiating between the ego and the intuition is important in terms of personal development. The ego tries to keep us rooted in fear and blocks us from our true selves. The ego does this to keep us stuck in negative beliefs and fears, giving us a false identity of who we think we are.
The goal of coaching is to guide the client into their truth, so they can live from a place of authenticity. The problem with ego is that a person may find themselves trapped in a cycle of repetitious negative beliefs and patterns which cause them to stay stuck.
Therefore, aligning a client with their inner voice, our intuition is beneficial so that the client can address any root fears, beliefs or patterns, and shift their perspective. By doing this, they are able to move forward with what they truly desire.
Let’s look at a scenario:
Veronica has spent her whole life living up to other people’s expectations of who they want her to be. She never found her own voice in life because of an underlying fear that she would lose her loved ones if she were to be true to who she really was. She went to college and got her degree in a field that she was good at, but she was not passionate about it. What she really wanted to major in was as field her parents disapproved of because they believed it would never make her any money.
Her chosen career has been successful, however, she lacks fulfilment. She has lost sight of who she really is and she has begun to question what she wants out of life and career. Veronica is deeply rooted in ego, negative beliefs and fears. She also feels alone, with no one to confide in, because she feels they won’t understand where she is coming from. Veronica feels she is at a crossroads and change is inevitable for her.
Veronica is allowing her ego to block her from being true to who she is because the underlying fear of her parents’ disapproval is overpowering her intuition that is trying to tell her that she wants something different in her life. Veronica will have to address the underlying beliefs and fears in order to shift out of this mindset which is holding her back from her own happiness in life. Otherwise, these underlying beliefs will continue to persist until she gets into enough pain that she is finally willing to face her truth and listen to what her intuition is telling her.
The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become. Gisele Bundchen
The intuition is that little voice deep down inside that everyone has the ability to access. It guides them into their truth and journey towards becoming a whole person. As long as the ego is fed and nourished by believing those negative beliefs and manifesting situations that prove the ego correct, the chances for forwarding movement are hindered. Having that intuitive voice, loud and clear, begins to lessen the power ego has over you. Intuition brings light to any fears, resulting in a rise of empowering thoughts and feelings. Because of this, focusing on how to strengthen a clients’intuition is key when it comes to creating awareness through the coaching process.
Coaching application:
As coaches, we want to empower our clients so that they feel confident in moving forward with their goals. It is our job to bring awareness to the coaching conversation in order to help our clients recognize when the ego is blocking them from moving forward. Over time, clients will begin to recognize the ego on their own which allows their intuition to guide them into their truth.
Creating a stronger intuition:
Questions to ask the client:
- How is this belief/fear serving you?
- What is true about this belief/fear?
- What is false about this belief/fear?
- What is an alternate belief that creates empowering feelings and thoughts?
- What is your inner voice trying to tell you?
- What can you learn from this situation/cycle?
- What can you do differently to shift out of this fear/belief?
- What are some action steps you can take to solidify this shift in beliefs?
Using powerful questions addressing the ego during the coaching conversation can be a step towards guiding our clients into deeper awareness. The exercises below can be done outside of the coaching conversation so the client can become more empowered with less reliance on the coach for long term success in life.
Exercises for the client:
- Guided meditation during coaching session
- Visualization
- Creating affirmations
Journaling
- Yoga/meditation
- Values assessment
- Goals assessment
- Self-care
- Writing out negative beliefs and changing them to empowering beliefs
By guiding our clients into deeper awareness about who they are, they will connect deeper to their intuition and begin to recognize when the ego is trying to get in the way. It takes patience, practice and dedication to help our clients shift out of ego attachments, fears and beliefs. Therefore, designing an action plan with the client to incorporate a deeper connection to intuition will further assist them in the forward movement. The client can experiment with the exercises above and determine what works best for them. If the client is unwilling to try any of the exercises, this is a great time for further exploration of how the ego is still keeping them stuck.
Continued encouragement and holding our clients accountable to create a stronger intuition is a key in solidifying their new efforts in breaking free from ego rooted beliefs and fears.
Reflection
- What are some techniques/tools that you are using to develop your own intuition?
- What are some ways you can empower your own beliefs to shift out of ego?
- What tools/techniques/questions are you implementing for your clients?