When you look at that particular statement, it shows how thinking can become overpowering and then a “feeling” will kick in. The feeling there is “overwhelm” or “exhaustion” and those may signal you to take a look at what’s happening. You may be forcing something to happen by thinking so hard about it. When you quiet the mind and try to get in touch with how the decision is feeling within your body, you may get a clear answer. Always go back to the feeling…whether it’s your initial feeling or the feeling that comes in after all the thinking – it will never steer you wrong.
Thinking versus feeling is all about cutting out external noise, to allow decisions to come from your inner guidance – and being able to decipher the difference. It’s important to make sure that whatever the choice, it feels comfortable for the client. Some people may prefer to follow their inner guide on most decisions, if they have a good connection with feeling what’s happening in their body and knowing they can trust it. Others may not yet be able to trust what’s happening in their body and thinking rationally through a decision is more comfortable for them. For those people, it would be helpful to move them into a place where they can try experiencing some inner guidance and taking note of what happens.
Intuition, in its roles of inner guide, teacher, and soul-gathering experience, will not necessarily indicate the easiest or most comfortable direction. However, we can count on the intuition to guide us toward choices that create inner growth, evolution, and the expression of our essential personal qualities. Judee Gee, Intuition; Awakening Your Inner Guide
What this quote touches upon is important to keep in mind during the process of developing and trusting intuition. The main point is that following intuition may not always provide an easy, or immediately successful outcome right away. It may take time to work through a challenge or experience, and it may also take time to be able to see the blessing within a challenge. Our intuition provides us with the right decision for our soul’s growth at that time. I know this all too well, as I struggled to understand why I had a distinct “knowing inside my heart” while dating a man who I thought was my soul mate. After our marriage ultimately ended in divorce, I went back and forth in trusting my intuition anymore. Now; after 3 years and and a lot of in-depth reflection, I can see how that experience was necessary for me to get where I am today. That “feeling” was right, as he was a soul mate; but not necessarily in the way I expected. My soul needed that experience and learning, and even though it was an extremely challenging thing to go through, I was meant to face and overcome it.
On the other side of this…no matter which choice you make (from your head or heart), it will all work out to give you something to grow from. Some experiences that I have had, where I specifically remember following my head instead of my heart, have taught me valuable lessons. When looking back (and this is part of my own evidence) I can specifically remember having an intuitive feeling to do something, but then my rational thought about societal norms kicked in…and I chose to follow my head instead. What ended up happening in that scenario, was that I felt a deep unhappiness inside me, and it would grow stronger every day, getting to the point of resentment. When another opportunity presented itself to make a similar decision, I followed my heart and immediately felt lighter, happier, and stronger.
The key here is to be easy on yourself in the process, but always stay curious. Follow your head or follow your heart, but be present and take ownership of those choices and notice where they take you.
Let’s take an example client situation:
Client scenario: Job decision or transition
A client needs to make a decision about taking a new job, that is completely different than their current job, but in a field they always wanted to get into. It also is about half of the salary as their current job.
From the thinking space – the client may weigh out the pro’s and cons, think through possible fears (like the loss of income, being cut first as the newbie if something goes wrong, or how peers would perceive them, etc). They may think through how that new job fits into society and status. This client may be thinking very rationally through what they know to be true in relation to their current situation/reality, and may not be willing in this stage to look all possibilities. This includes things that are outside of their current reality.
In this scenario, let’s say that the client had an amazing feeling come up inside them when they found out they were offered this job. They could almost imagine everything they ever wanted being right at their fingertips. But, when they got home and started discussing it with their spouse and thinking through all the various elements…they started to cover up that feeling of elatedness. In making a decision like this, it good to analyze, think through, and evaluate all the various aspects before making a decision, but don’t forget to include the the feelings. The key is in which part of them wins the battle if there’s conflict between the head and heart.
When conflict comes into play, this is where the evidence of past experiences will be important. Is there evidence to support their inner guidance and that “initial excitement from within” with any successful – or unsuccessful outcomes? If there isn’t any evidence to support either side yet, then maybe this can be the start of collecting the evidence.
Reflection questions for both sides:
- Describe a past situation, where you forced something that you thought you wanted, or decided on from your head space?
- How did it end up working out?
- Where did the initial desire for this item come from?
- What signs can you see now that were shown along the path that now, after looking back, could've been trying to switch up your direction?
- Can you remember how the path and the destination in this scenario felt inside your body?
- Can you see a benefit in this situation?
- Describe a situation that you remember following your intuition, gut instincts, or inner guidance?
- Can you describe what you felt?
- How do you know it was your intuition guiding you?
- What was the result of that situation?
- Are there any structures you can put in place to support using your intuition in the future?
- Will evidence help you trust your decision source? If so, how will you capture that evidence?
This power tool is used in connection with the WARRIOR coaching model, transforming clients who are Willing and Able to do the Research in order to Realign with their true Inner source/self, while letting go of their Old paradigm in order to Realize their purpose and path! This power tool can be used many times during coaching, and will most likely appear during the phases of Research, Realignment, Inner source/self, and Old paradigm.
Head Cog Thinking Concept – Image courtesy of ddpavumba / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Pot And Heart Oil Gear Icon – Image courtesy of atibodyphoto / FreeDigitalPhotos.net