International Coach Academy

Coach Training School

  • LANGUAGES
    • English
    • Chinese
    • Italian
  • COMMUNITY
    • Africa
    • Australia
    • Canada
    • Egypt
    • France
    • Germany
    • Greece
    • Hong Kong
    • India
    • Italy
    • Japan
    • Jordan
    • Lebanon
    • New Zealand
    • Singapore
    • Switzerland
    • Taiwan
    • Trinidad Tobago
    • UAE
    • UK
    • USA
  • Contact Us
  • OUR SCHOOL
    • Why ICA?
    • Our School – Our Story
    • Our Team
    • Our Alumni
  • PROGRAMS
    • Training Methodology
    • Coach Certification
    • Become a Coach
      • Advanced Coach (ACTP)
      • Professional Coach (ACTP)
      • Vocational Coach (ACSTH)
    • Add Coach Skills
      • Workplace Coach (ACSTH)
      • Life Design Course (CCE)
      • Group Coaching (CCE)
      • Bridging Programs (Pathway to ACTP)
  • STUDENT LIFE
    • Inside the Classroom
    • Study Schedule
    • Coaching Confidence
    • Your Niche and Model
    • Portfolio Creation
    • Unparallaled Support
  • COACH LIFE
    • Get A Niche
      • Life Coaching
      • Health Wellness Coaching
      • Leadership Coaching
      • Business Coaching
    • Getting Clients
    • Coaching Demonstrations
    • Coaching Tips
    • Day in the Life of a Coach
    • Community Library
  • FLIPIT
    • A Framework for Change
    • Certified Group Coaching (CCE)
      • FlipIt Facilitation License
    • ICA Power Tools
      • Graduate Power Tools
  • BLOG
    • Graduation Yearbooks
    • Coach Portfolio
      • Power Tools
      • Resources
    • Articles
    • Podcasts
  • Join Login
You are here: Home » COACH PORTFOLIOS » Power Tools » Power Tool: Judging vs. Valuing

Power Tool: Judging vs. Valuing

2013/10/15

A Coaching Power Tool created by Jacqueline Pittman Bassett
(Life Coach, UNITED STATES)

If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher. Pema Chodron

Here Comes the Judge

It seems, judging is a uniquely adult human trait.  Animals don’t judge.  Babies don’t judge—it’s a learned trait.  We judge more harshly those who are unlike us:  “them.”  Those like “us” are assessed more favorably.  We judge people by everything about them, including dress, speech, statements, hair, mannerisms, views, tattoos, weight, skin color, income, even their dog.

Judging is a natural human reaction.  Or is it?  Judging informs our life.  How so?  What does it mean to judge another individual, particularly upon a first meeting?  How does this initial, and often uninformed, assessment inform our view of the person, curbing potential value we may see in them?  Conversely, why are we so concerned about the judgment of others?

Heady questions indeed.  But valid questions to ponder as we consider our perspectives, reactions, and assessments of the world and people, much of which may be deeply ingrained and unconscious with some heavy lifting required to uncover our learned nuances that help explain that “gut feeling.”

When we judge, we become critical.  One problem with criticism is that it simply doesn’t feel good.  When we are critical, we focus on what we don’t like rather than on what we do like.  If you have ever been in a critique group, you know that the critiques nearly always lean toward what is wrong with the work presented—it’s what we naturally focus on.

Judging takes the focus off of us and makes us feel better about ourselves.  Insecurities cause people to judge.  Belief systems cause people to judge.  When we judge, what can we value?  Often our judgments hold us back.  Judging could be office gossip and statements such as:

  • “We all know how she got the job.”
  • “Did you see the way she was dressed?”
  • “He always comes in late.”
  • “He’s such a suck-up.”
  • “If she were a real manager, she’d…”
  • “He lives in a bad part of town.”
  • “She’s one of those yoga/new age types.”
  • “She’s half his age.”
  • “I can’t believe they live that way.”
  • “Their house is filthy.”
  • “Who eats like that?”
  • “I can’t believe the way he dresses.”
  • “She looks like a hooker.”
  • “Did you see her tattoo?”
  • “How much plastic surgery has she had?”

Judging can also come through in our actions as we avoid people, stare, don’t invite them, don’t hire them, or don’t work with them.

Self-awareness means recognizing when we are judging, as opposed to merely observing.  An awareness of judging is essential and needs to be developed.  We have to ask ourselves if we are judging as an initial reaction, or are we finding potential value in others?  How is judging impeding our relationships?

The Value of Valuing

Value means to consider with respect to work, excellence, usefulness, or importance.  What does valuing look like?  It starts with making a commitment to appreciating the differences and learning to value a person’s uniqueness.  It’s realizing it’s not “I’m always right and you’re always wrong.”  It’s recognizing when our comments and actions are judgmental, moving away from that to see value in others, and reflecting that value through our words AND actions.

Just as there are consequences with judging, potentially exponential benefits arise from valuing another individual, both initially and ongoing.  Valuing means not simply avoiding putting others in judgmental categories that might be dismissive, but seeing in each individual we meet what we can gain from them in a very positive way.  What can we learn, what new perspective, new insight, even potential connections to advance our personal or professional pursuits (not bad things as any successful networker will reaffirm).

Related Posts

  • Power Tool: Passion vs. Obligation
  • Research Paper: Leveraging Coaching When Transitioning Through Change
  • Power Tool: Courage vs. Fear
  • power-tool-corina-pall-600x352Power Tool: Self-awareness vs. Self-consciousness
  • Coaching Model: Life Transformational and Authenticity CoachCoaching Model: Life Transformational and Authenticity Coach
  • Coaching Case Study: The Closet- A Story About the Pursuit of TruthCoaching Case Study: The Closet- A Story About the Pursuit of Truth
Pages: 1 2

Filed Under: Power Tools Tagged With: jacqueline bassett, natural human reaction, self application coaching, value of valuing coaching

International Coach Academy

Categories

You can connect with us in a variety of ways.
Here's how...

Call Us: Australia: 61 (0) 414 484 328  
Ask Us A Question Click HERE

snail-mail

PO Box 3190 Mentone East, 
Melbourne AUSTRALIA, 3194

Terms and ABN

Terms and condition
Privacy Policy
ABN: 83 094 039 577

Copyright © 2021 · International Coach Academy ·

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.