A Coaching Power Tool Created by Gail Anette Regina Walters
(Blended Coach, SOUTH AFRICA)
The reality of walking, talking, looking, climbing, working, traveling, living, and loving just to be “Me, I, Myself,” and most importantly it has been my power-tool since I was a child, a belonging that I would fit into and stay in that gear of authenticity up to this current times.
In times of greatness, over-flow, excess and then in times of less, I will find myself just yearning and remaining with authenticity, no matter how high, wide, or broad the journey at a time, I have been able to awake every day in the coat of authenticity with folds of transparency.
Going Beyond & Exploring
What Challenges and Success?
As human beings we can find ourselves on the bridge of determination in some jobs, it was expected of me to adopt and adapt to some cultures that were not fitting to my true self.
I chose to not cross the bridge and remained true to myself. Some things morally were against my beliefs and I ensured that it was expected of me to be removed from such organizations and I looked for the ones that I could feel a “good fit”, an example was the Hotel Industry with a Casino. This was not part of my “good fit”, everybody has a place of work, it might be great for others who love such environments but not for me, great learnings from these jobs about finding myself and knowing my character better.
In terms of successes, knowing the self is a great evaluator as this is how we are allowed from time to time, to dig deep into our character and find any hidden or untapped characteristics or see any changes and be cognizant of change, if any. My past 33 years have been very successful but it came with bends, hurdles, pot-holes, gravel, mud-slopes, snow, heat, fire, hard rains, and importantly tears and fears as I am a human being.
I am a risk-taker, something that within these 33 years, I found a deeper understanding of why I take risks, over the years, the explanations have been valid and reasonable, I am honest with myself onto which of the risks did not pay very good dividends but it was good to take to reach the other side of the road or to have the opportunity of growth. Experience is one of the best Teachers and this was proven over the 33 years. I am a true believer that Authenticity and Transparency were tools in my career box that stood out for me in such situations?
What is the real me to others?
“Are you able to see the REAL ME”, how does this differ to the selfie we just took, or the photograph, if this is not a mirror image of my authentic self, what am I portraying to my clients, colleagues, family, friends, subordinates, faculty staff, training directors, facilitators, trainees, peers, and others I come into contact who are part of my networking group.
Some years back, a client (colleague) in a session turned to me and said these words, why do you never wear make-up, spend time in the mirror beautifying your face, pampering your head down to your legs. This is so important to apply cosmetics and products to your body, is it the money or time, is it too much for you to afford? I had the answer but she asked for a session with me based on the domestic violence issue that she had just escaped in her marriage.
I sat in the chair and was not sure at that moment if I should be very direct as her situation was still fresh. She did not understand then that you do not need all those masks, face-painting, cosmetics, and products to be “a true person”, I chose not to respond with many words and simply said, “Not for me”.
That question came up within all 6 sessions we had and my answer was always the same, “Not for me”.
I kept remembering my parents, they always harped on the fact that my siblings and I should always be consistent, cautious, conscious, conscientious, and aware of our character traits. My dad always repeated the words, “Character speaks for itself, you do not need to reveal everything, Class cannot be bought, appreciate and respect yourself. Products do not paint good pictures, be genuine, and show the real you”. It was always called the nag session back home, he died when I was 17 years old, my mom always left us with similar but powerful statements about the character. I pondered about this always after these 6 sessions held with my client (colleague).
2 years later, I received a call from my client (colleague), who shouted on the phone, “why did you not tell me then”, I have found myself spending so much money and time on the meaningless stuff in life, all I needed to do was look within me.” I stopped her after listening for 5 minutes and said, I did not mention it in the session but always in the social group.
She then cried out and said. “I would have gone violent on you, as you right I was not ready to hear anything about myself, it was also not your right to tell me but your sessions helped me, I have paved my way and I never knew who I am, the marriage was fake and my life at the time was false. I stopped buying facial products and body treatments for 1 year as I learned it was all a mask, I needed to work on the internal side and not cover the external with beauty products. Her ending words were, Life is simple why do we make it impossible, thank you for showing me what it is to be a “real person.”
We all human beings with our setbacks, drawbacks, failures, problems, and challenges, living with a yearning for improvement of character. Once again, it comes down to choices and this is what makes the world a great place for Coaching.
Reflection, change, and a new perspective
- This was a changing moment for me in my “Coaching and Mentoring” career path, I started to realise that more people need Coaching and I might have helped her at the time but there is much more that I can do in life for others.
- It was part of my drive to enrol and accept the conversation with Julia from ICA, inquiring about the advanced program, I have seen the need and enrolled with ICA, my journey needed certification, an investment of other studies relating to Coaching etc. and 2019 was my year to make this happen, despite my work and health challenges at the beginning of the year.
- The journey comes to an end in October 2019 but not the learnings and the people that I met on the program through knowledge sharing, peer experiences, lab sessions, task-chats, project exploratory discussions, supervised and observed coaching sessions.
- Taking my power-tools together with all the learnings from ICA and sharing them with the universe in an ethical and guided blended coaching approach is the new perspective to greater deliverables with meaning for persons who are looking for new growth avenues, unblocking and also helping to awaken the untapped inner self.
- I need to remember it is important for me to keep tapping into my inner-self to ensure that my personal vision is clear, sitting over the 18/20-20/20 mark as you cannot lead others if you cannot lead self.
- The difference I can make through blended Coaching is what turns my world into a greater place for my clients and me.
References
Gardner, W. L., Avolio, B. J., Luthans, F., May, D. R., & Walumbwa, F. O. (2005). Can you see the real me? A self-based model of authentic leader and follower development. The Leadership Quarterly, 16(3), 343−372.
George, W. (2003). Authentic leadership: Rediscovering the secrets to creating lasting value. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Gross, C. U. (2002). Managing communication within virtual intercultural teams. Business Communication Quarterly, 65(4), 22−38
Avolio, B. J., & Gardner, W. L. (2005). Authentic leadership development: Getting to the root of positive forms of leadership. The Leadership Quarterly, 16(3), 315−338.
Avolio, B. J., Gardner, W. L., Walumbwa, F. O., Luthans, F., & May, D. L. (2004). Unlocking the mask: A look at the process by which authentic leaders impact follower attitudes and behaviors. The Leadership Quarterly, 15, 801−823.
Avolio, B. J., & Luthans, F. (2006). The high impact leader: Moments matter for accelerating authentic leadership development. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.