This is a simplified description of the forgiveness process applied to her situation:
Did that event impact your life? Today I can tell. I am stuck back there.
What is holding you from being fully yourself? I keep thinking if I had been different with my ex-boyfriend, whom I hurt, I would feel better now, it could be different.
Do you carry some negative emotions from that time? Yes. What are they? I carry some resentment, sense of injustice, guilt, sadness and I get very emotional when I think about it.
Do you want to continue feeling this way? No.
Are you ready to let go these negative emotions and forgive your director and yourself? Yes
On a scale from 1 to 10, how much are you willing to do this now? 9
Can we start now? Yes.
I applied the relaxation and asked her to go back to that time and face the avoided scene. Let’s connect to your Inner Master to come close to you and help you to release those negative emotions, through his unconditional love. Let’s also invite your healthy Tina, to support you in this journey.
Look at your boss: what do you still have to tell him? Say now: I wasn’t guilty for what happened. It was unfair. You are bullying me by doing that. I felt abused and powerless! I lost everything, I lost my life! Can you step into his shoes and feel what you told him? Yes, it seems that he is regretting.
Do you think you are ready to forgive him? If yes, how much? I believe 9, now.
Now let’s invite your healthy side to come close to Tina, five years ago and together with your Inner Master place your hands over her heart and let her receives healing.
Would you like to ask her if she is ready to let go all this negativity from her body? She is, but she still feels guilty, because she lost everything. Give her a message: I forgive you that time; you were learning how to deal with a relationship. Let’s start over a new life. Tell me when you feel better. I feel better now.
How much did you forgive yourself? I rated 90 %. Look at yourself that time and give that young Tina everything she lost at that time: I give her back her enthusiasm, her feeling of acceptance, her excitement in life; her importance in people’s life; her self-love; self-acceptance, her success.
Would you like to set her free from that time? Yes. Did she embrace everything? Yes. Does her face look lighter now? Much better and happier now.
What do you want to tell her? I want to let her know that she is very special, I love her and I forgive her for her naivety and for being pretentious towards my ex-boyfriend.
Would you like to make a deal with her, like a healthy partnership and let her know she can count on you from now on? Yes, she accepts and I feel better, different. I realized that I need to forgive myself even more than somebody else.
If there is anything else that you want to say, I encourage you to do so now. During this coming week, you may take some time to write down what you want to change as well as your future actions towards your new life and we will talk about it if you will.
I applied the forgiveness tool a couple of times and she noticed remarkable changes in her behavior within a short period of time. She promised herself to move on from the burden that she had on her shoulders and to start a new life. In addition, she found out that her excitement increased tremendously and she noticed that she was more sociable, that she was feeling lighter and was in a whole happier.
Reflection and Self-Application
Through forgiveness, a new reality and a new understanding of life is released along with the burden of resentment, guilt and sorrow. The burden vanishes and the “letting-go” of past negative images clears out the mind. The benefits are numerous such as a healthier relationships; greater spiritual and psychological being, less anxiety, stress and hostility as well as fewer symptoms of depression.
The act of forgiveness from the bottom of the heart does not mean that the memory of the negative image is erased from the brain but it simply means that the person accepted being in agreement with the healing situation. The actual situation is approached differently and it is now time to reconnect with the very essence of life encompassing new components such as love, joy, light and wisdom. The shifts on the perspective of life will encourage a new comprehension of events, a better understanding that everything has special meanings and an overall self-improvement.
The high values of love and forgiveness are invaluable and have to be applied in everyone’s daily life in order to facilitate the flow of energy and create the necessary balance of every human being.
Everyone needs to be honest and check their inner self; they need to find the hindrance that prevents them from being totally themselves and consequently they will be able to let go in order to find their own self.
Emotional Intelligence, Goleman, Daniel (1995)
The Big Book Of NLP Techniques: 200+ Patterns & Strategies of Neuro Linguistic Programming.Vaknin, Shlomo
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Awakening Love: The Universal Mission Spiritual Healing in Psychology and Medicine By Nickolas Demetry and Edwin L Clonts
Hawkins, David R (2002) Power vs. Force. The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior. Hay House, Carlsbad, California
Hellinger, Bert (1998). Love’s Hidden Symmetry: What makes Love work in Relationships
Jacob Levy Moreno 1889-1974: Father of Psychodrama, Sociometry, and Group Psychotherapy (International Library of Group Psychotherapy and Group Processes)