A Coaching Power Tool Created by Emma Folkman
(Self(ish) Coach, UNITED STATES)
Overview
If you run a “Google image” search for willpower, you will see a logo of an arm starting at the bicep, connected to a brain. This is the perfect depiction of willpower; it is the idea that if you put your mind to something, your actions will follow and it can be achieved. Willpower is essentially “powered” by motivation, and to uncover the motivation we must explore our minds to get a clear picture of why a client truly wants to achieve a goal. Or in other words: what is “power” behind their “will”.
Introduction
Willpower is a strong driving force of a successful coaching relationship – the client must have willpower in order to get from where they are when they begin coaching to where they want to be, with the support of a coach.
Without willpower, the client may be able to reach their goals if they have enticing incentives, but they will likely revert back to previous behaviors, habits, or thinking patterns once the coaching relationship ends.
As Daniel Pink discusses in his book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, when we truly want something from the deepest depths of ourselves, it will be accomplished more easily than something we are doing for an external reward (or an incentive). Not only will the goal be easier to accomplish if we want it for the “right reasons”, but the resulting achievement is more likely to be maintained. This is due to the excitement of an incentive being fleeting while willpower is more of a frame of mind that can be everlasting.
What is Willpower?
Willpower is the ability to resist short-term gratification in pursuit of a long term goal or objective.[1] It is not something that one is born with, although it does tend to come easier to individuals who have more controlling personalities.[2]
In a study done with middle schoolers, a sampling of students had their willpower put to the test in an exercise: they were offered $2 if they waited a week to receive the money or $1 if they took the money immediately. The students who exhibited willpower during the exercise, by waiting for more money at a later date, scored higher on exams and were more likely to be admitted into more competitive high schools. This study’s findings lead to Duckworth & Seligman’s theory that willpower is an even stronger indicator of academic success than IQ (which has been the standard measure of intelligence since the early 1900s).[3]
What are Incentives?
Incentives motivate or encourage us to do something and incentivization is the act or process of making something attractive by offering an incentive for purchase or participation.[4]
When the achievement of the goal is not motivation enough for the individual to want to accomplish the goal, (and ideally maintain it) then it is important to question the underlying motivation behind the goal.
For example, if someone wants to reach a six-figure salary but doesn’t have a strong awareness of their reason for wanting this, there is no real motivation behind the goal itself. In this case, the individual may put an incentive in place to further entice themselves (since the goal in itself is not attractive enough). So then, instead of “I want to hit six-figures because that is what is required to live a comfortable lifestyle and support myself”, the goal becomes “I want a six-figure salary and once I get there I can take a luxury vacation”.
But one has to wonder, is the salary what is important here, or is it the vacation that is the carrot being dangled on the proverbial stick? If a coach were to dig deeper, they might uncover that the salary is not truly important to the client. Many times, societal norms can make us see things from a particular lens that is not truly accurate (i.e. that you need a six-figure salary in order to take a luxury vacation). Once the underlying motive is uncovered, the goal can be restructured to the point where it no longer needs an incentive. At this point, the client can easily tap into their willpower knowing the goal is motivation enough to achieve what their heart truly desires.
Self Application
As humans have evolved and moved from a hunter-gatherer lifestyle to the more complex system outlined by Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – we have learned that certain actions result in a reward. Being programmed this way over time, it is easy to solely rely on this crutch of rewards-based goal setting to motivate ourselves and achieve success beyond our basic needs.
However, we see time and time again that using rewards (or external incentives) to motivate more often than not results in the individual reverting back to their previous habits and behaviors after the rewards are removed from the equation.
Once we can shift our frame of mind to realize we are taking these actions because we want the end result, we can see that this goal we have envisioned for ourselves is in itself the incentive. The key is to make sure that the goal in mind is one that is realistic and to determine the specific steps necessary to achieve success as you define it.
Coaching Application
Helping a client understand what is driving their goal will make it easier for them to tap into the willpower required to accomplish their desired results without the need for further incentivization. Once the client is clear on what is driving their goal and how it derives from their core values, “willpower” will come naturally because the client is now clear on why they are working towards this target.
Additionally, the client will need to be clear and content on what they will need to sacrifice in order to succeed. Many people go after goals that will require a sacrifice they are not willing to make. This can be seen in someone who wants to work out but will not sacrifice waking up early or staying up later to do so. They are not willing to make time in their day to fit in this activity. When a client is not willing to sacrifice for their goal, it is the coach’s duty to help the client understand that there is always a way if the will[power] exists.
Another reason a client may be relying on incentives is that they have not explored what underlying blocking beliefs they may be holding onto. If a client has a contradictory belief that has been weighing on their subconscious, the coach can aid by encouraging the client to shift their perspective to one that will support them in accomplishing their goal.
Concluding Thoughts
Willpower is an energetic determination to accomplish anything one puts their mind to. With the proper motivation, incentivization is not required in order to muster up the willpower necessary to succeed.
Reflection
- Think back to a time you exhibited willpower without requiring an incentive. What was your goal? What was the underlying motivation behind the goal?
- Think of a time when you needed incentivization in order to achieve a goal. What was the goal? What was the underlying motivation behind the goal? Why was an incentive required in order for the goal to be achieved?
- How can you apply this to future goals that you want to achieve?
- Are all goals worth achieving?
Resources
[1] http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/willpower
[2] Duckworth, A., & Seligman, M. (2005). Self-discipline outdoes IQ in predicting academic performance in adolescents. Psychological Science, 16, 939-944
[3] Duckworth, A., & Seligman, M. (2005). Self-discipline outdoes IQ in predicting academic performance in adolescents. Psychological Science, 16, 939-944
[4] Lexico Powered by Oxford Dictionary
