International Coach Academy

Coach Training School

  • LANGUAGES
    • English
    • Chinese
    • Italian
  • REGIONS
    • Africa
    • Asia
    • Australia
    • Canada
    • Europe
    • India
    • Middle East
    • New Zealand
    • UK
    • USA
    • South America
  • Contact Us
  • OUR SCHOOL
    • Training Methodology
    • FlipIt Framework
    • Credential Pathways
    • Our Story
    • Faculty
  • PROGRAMS
    • Coach Certification
      • Advanced (ACTP)
      • Professional (ACTP)
      • Vocational (ACSTH)
      • Bridging Pathways (ACTP)
    • Short Courses (FlipIt)
  • STUDENT LIFE
    • Study Schedule
    • Classes & Theory
    • ICA Power Tools
    • Labs & Practicum
    • Your Coaching Model
    • Your Coaching Niche
    • Your Coaching Business
    • Student Support
  • COMMUNITY
    • ICA Alumni
    • Graduate Yearbooks
    • Graduate Program
  • RESOURCES
    • Library
    • What is Coaching?
    • Coaching Models
    • Coaching Power Tools
    • Coaching Research
    • ICA Blog
  • Join Login
You are here: Home » COACH PORTFOLIOS » Power Tools » Power Tool: Compassion vs. Frustration

Power Tool: Compassion vs. Frustration

2018/07/09

Ellie-Buteau-power-tool--600x352

A Coaching Power Tool Created by Ellie Buteau
(Executive Coach, UNITED STATES)

Every single person in this world is wounded and struggling in their own unique way. When you allow yourself to completely see that, you open the door to unlimited compassion and love, which, by default, leads to genuine and authentic forgiveness. –Jennifer Wardowski

Compassion vs Frustration

Compassion: Sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.

Frustration: The feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something; the prevention of the progress, success, or fulfillment of something.

When directed towards oneself, compassion becomes self-compassion. Kristen Neff, a researcher whose career has focused on the concept of self-compassion, describes it this way:

Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings…

Frustration is related to the prevention of progress of fulfillment; compassion is moving toward alleviation. Preventing can create a disempowering state, whereas moving toward something can be an empowering experience.

It can be easy to get caught up in the feeling that something cannot be changed, or progress cannot be made—to feel disempowered and let frustration rule the situation. Sometimes, repeated frustration with the same situation results in a person getting stuck in patterns, feeling unable to make the progress they wish they could make.

But there is an empowering alternative. When we are facing difficult moments in our lives, we can recognize that we, and perhaps whoever else is involved, are experiencing a trying time. And, rather than treat ourselves or others harshly, we can practice compassion, for others and for ourselves.

Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves– Pema Chodron

In coaching, clients often bring as their topic something with which they are struggling—whether it be challenges with colleague or family members, their career, or self-care. Frustrations can crop up in any situation we encounter in our daily lives.

Take, for example, Kathleen. Kathleen is so frustrated with her colleague Megan that she does everything she can to avoid Megan at work. Her avoidance tactics are starting to affect her relationships with other colleagues and her participation in meetings. Kathleen is looking for a coping strategy that will enable her to succeed at her job, while not feeling derailed by Megan.

Through coaching, Kathleen realizes that instead of blaming Megan for their interpersonal issues and always feeling frustrated with her, she can show compassion for Megan and for herself. This leads Kathleen to change her behavior toward Megan. She invites Megan to lunch to get to know her a bit better. She learns more about why Megan does some of the things she does at the office and starts to understand Megan as a whole person.

Kathleen’s coping strategy enables her to feel more comfortable at work. Her relationship with Megan improves, and eventually her job performance returns to her usual level of exceeding expectations in her role.

Usually when someone is angry we hear their angry words. Instead, try hearing the unspoken, ‘I am scared, I am frustrated, I am insecure, I am vulnerable, I am threatened.’ The words are less important than the actual trigger and will hurt less if we recognize this.-Dr. Charles, Coach MD

[1]https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/compassion

[2]https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/frustration

[3]http://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/

[4]https://goo.gl/images/g6hWCm

Filed Under: Power Tools Tagged With: coach united states, ellie buteau, executive coach

Categories

International Office

PO Box 3190 Mentone East,
Melbourne AUSTRALIA, 3194

ABN: 83 094 039 577

Contact Us Online

Ask Us A Question

Click HERE

Terms

Terms and condition
Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2022 · International Coach Academy ·

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT