- Could you sit with your mother and share your concerns with her in an open, honest and safe space?
- What are your concerns, fears, roadblocks and why?
- What would your most fearless self do in this situation?
- What if you choose not to act on this now? How would our life be different a year from now or three years from now? How would that affect your?
- If you can envision the future that you really want; is this decision going to get you there or is there a better way?
- Will this decision align with your passions, your values and your faith?
- How will leaving this job affect your relationship with your mother in the long term? How can you most comfortably move on from this in regards to your mother?
Applying the Model
As you work with your client and move her through the coaching process you will need to support and encourage her to be true to herself and her deepest desires. Only she knows what is right for her in this situation. The process may take time and it must be client driven. You may have no fears in disappointing or influencing your mother, however, your client has grown up with a different belief system and cultural differences may dictate otherwise to her. Your goal as the coach is to be aware and sensitive to how she is feeling in this dilemma. Help her to see what her true concerns are and how she can move forward satisfying her needs and her mother’s demands.
Being aware of the language the client uses and the inflections in their voice will help you to discern just how much of an obstacle they have or feel they have to deal with. Asking powerful questions will enable them to determine just how committed they are to making this change in their life.
- What things in your life have you left to chance lately and why?
- How would things be different if you had made an informed and committed choice?
- What can you do in the future to stop the cycle of allowing chance to dictate your life?
- How might you guide your clients in the direction of choice vs chance?
…For the day we accept that we have chosen to choose our choices is the day we cast off the shackles of victimhood and are set free to pursue the lives we were born to live…
Learn to master the moment of decision and you will live a life uncommon.
(Kelly, 1999, page 4)
Kelly, Matthew, 1999, The Rhythm of Life, Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose, Simon & Schuster, New York