A Coaching Power Tool created by Diane Little
(Spiritual Coach, UNITED STATES)
Everything is a choice. This is life’s greatest truth and its’ hardest lesson.
(Matthew Kelly, The Rhythm of Life)The words chance and choice as defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary are:
An act or instance of selecting with care. Choosing the right, power or opportunity to choose. Carefully selected
Something that happens unpredictably without discernible human intention or observable cause… the assumed impersonal purposeless determiner of unaccountable happenings.
Which would you prefer…. careful selection or purposeless happenings?
Everything in life is a choice, we choose to get out of bed in the morning, we choose our friends, we choose what to wear, what to eat, what to be when we grow up. We choose what to say, what not to say. We choose our mood, our fears and our words. We choose to be active or lazy, we choose love, we choose judgments and prejudices. We choose to be happy or we choose to be unhappy. We even participate in choosing to be healthy or unhealthy
It could be argued that we don’t choose certain circumstances we are thrust into and this is true. We don’t choose our family of origin, our country of birth, certain life circumstances like illness or injury, but we can choose how we respond to those circumstances. We can choose to rise above our misfortune and liberate ourselves from the clutches of poverty, oppression, abuse and ill fortune. How committed will you choose to be in life’s circumstances?
Life is difficult and sometimes we can’t decide or we choose not to decide and therefore we allow chance and fate to decide for us. In our indecision we fall victim to wrong or inappropriate or painful outcomes. We create an environment of discord and unhappiness in our lives. We fear the change and effort that choosing might bring. We can become paralyzed by the fear of choosing, of deciding and committing to that decision. Unable to be committed to a new path, a new way of feeling, working, living or loving we remain stuck in the “status quo” and leave the decision to chance. We are deciding to not decide and we leave it to fate.
Choosing will, at times, mean deciding not to move in the direction of change but to remain where we are in this situation at this time. If, after careful and prayerful examination we come to the conclusion that this is the right thing at the right time that is okay too. The question is are we making an informed choice?
When we come to an understanding of the fundamental human privilege of choice and act on it we become liberated, empowered and free to grow to the person we were ultimately and divinely created to be. It takes prayerful thought and effort to choose, it takes a determined effort of will and ultimately that which we choose will define who we are. It is certainly better to choose with conviction, even in the face of doubt, than to stand still and allow the wind to blow us where it will.
Imagine the following situation:
Faith is a 31 year old, independent, single woman who has supported herself in the business world for two years. She has been fortunate to be hired in the banking industry in a very difficult market due to her mother’s influence and connections. Faith has her own apartment and life is quite comfortable. However, she is feeling dissatisfied with her current position as her coworkers are not easy to get along with, they are very competitive and judgmental. She feels outside the work group and unappreciated. Her managers are demanding and critical. Her work is becoming stressful, boring and unfulfilling.
Faith is confronted with the desire to seek other career opportunities but feels torn because her mother is on the board at the bank and her immediate boss is a close friend of Faith’s mother and was instrumental in getting her the position. She is at odds with her mother after sharing her desire to seek other career opportunities as her mother feels Faith is obligated to the bank for hiring her only a short time ago. Faith’s mother is very controlling and Faith feels somewhat obligated to honor her mother’s wishes.
Faith has a choice to make. Satisfy her own true needs and desires by actively seeking other job opportunities or please her mother whom she loves and respects very much and remain where she is…. at the bank feeling stuck and unhappy. In her culture ones parents are to be greatly respected and honored. Ignoring her mother’s wishes could be very damaging to their relationship. Should she leave the matter to chance…. waiting for time to pass, maybe another job will come along, maybe her mother will change her mine or does she choose to make a move and actively seek a career change?
Faith feels caught and frustrated. She would like to explore more deeply her situation and resolve the conflict in her life and within herself. She seeks the help of a coach.