A perfectionist often holds a perspective that it is extremely difficult to ever achieve a goal in an “ideal” way. As a result, they often grow discouraged, disheartened, and pessimistic about their future efforts to meet a goal. They tend to focus on the negatives, and all of the possible things that may go wrong, when approaching a task.
Proneness to more serious disorders
Perfectionists can exhibit high levels of anxiety and depression. They also run the risk of becoming prone to more serious, life-debilitating mental and emotional difficulties, such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Eating Disorders, Social Anxiety Disorder, Social Phobia, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, workaholism, substance abuse, chronic stress, and even Heart Disease.
What does “being magnificent” look like?
No one is perfect. . . . .that’s why pencils have erasers.
A person who approaches their life with an attitude that they will always try their best and that “ideals” are merely guidelines to be worked on, without the need for 100% achievement, is a person who has made a choice to be magnificent in their life. The magnificent person takes time to explore, discover, and listen to the passion inside of them, which creates a need or drive to make decisions or take actions that will feed this inner passion. The magnificent person is not afraid of change, nor are they afraid to try new things, as they hold onto the attitude of “Even though this is new to me, I will try my best!” Their actions are aligned with their values, as well as their top priorities in life that give their life meaning. The magnificent person sets reasonable goals that are realistic, often achievable, and within flexible time frames. As they work toward their goals, knowing they will give their best that they can, they are patient and calm, with the awareness that obstacles “could” get in the way. They approach each obstacle with an inner strength of “I know I can work through this,” rather than an “I knew I could never do this, so I should stop here” mentality. The magnificent person has learned to accept who they are and has completely let go of what they, or others, “think” they should be. As a result, they can forgive themselves for their mistakes and enjoy their achievements with a healthy sense of self-pride.
What are the beliefs behind “being magnificent?”
A person who approaches life with the attitude that they will strive to be their own magnificent self has developed very healthy beliefs about themselves and the world around them. They hold onto the belief that to be “super human” is unrealistic and unattainable. They recognize that the human condition involves failings, weaknesses, mistakes and imperfections, and without these conditions, we, as humans, wouldn’t have the opportunity to grow, change, and improve. They approach each task with the belief that even if the desired end result is not achieved, they knew they gave it their best, and therefore, the overall result can be viewed as a success. Their own failures and mistakes are viewed as opportunities to learn from, and with this new knowledge, they can do even better the next time around. Even in the face of mistakes and failure, the magnificent person can hold onto their belief that what really matters is to continue moving in a positive direction. They have open-mindedness, compassion, and understanding of the obstacles and hard times that occur in life. The magnificent person has a deep sense of self-love and truly believes they are deserving of good things in life.
What are the positive consequences of “being magnificent?”
The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.
Transforming one’s attitude from “being perfect” to “being magnificent” when faced with decisions, tasks, or goals in life can result in many positive consequences. What are these positive consequences?
Increased creativity and play
Perfectionists are so fearful of failure, they are afraid to be creative or deviate away from guidelines and “the norm.” However, people who strive to simply “be magnificent” in what they do will increase their ability to be playful. These individuals are often viewed as being highly creative and innovative since they are not afraid to try new things or experiment with their ideas, even if the possibility of failure exists.
Accepting of change and challenge
The magnificent person is willing to take a risk or engage in a challenging experience, even when they feel scared or uncertain, as they welcome the opportunity to further their growth and development. If the outcome is successful, the magnificent person will gain a sense of pride. And, if the outcome is unsuccessful or not as expected, the magnificent person still experiences a sense of pride; pride that they made the attempt even in the face of fear or uncertainty, and pride that they “gave it their all,” regardless.
Stronger coping skills
The magnificent person often possesses better coping skills compared to the perfectionist due to their ability to be flexible. When an obstacle or error occurs, the magnificent person can respond to it in a healthy way, rather that react with an upheaval of emotion. The obstacle is viewed as merely a “bump in the road” rather than “the end of the world.” They also are able to use “thought stopping” techniques during times in which they may scold themselves or make negative comments about their performance. Rather than continue to ruminate on the negative feeling and continue to punish themselves, they quickly catch themselves in the act, change their view to one of forgiveness, and move on.
Improved decision making skills
The perfectionist often engages in “black or white” thinking and/or decision making. It is often all or nothing, perfect or not at all, to be the best or to be a complete loser. However, the magnificent person can easily see the “shades of grey.” They can approach a decision with the knowledge that there may be many different options or many different strategies to solve the problem. As a result, if they follow one of their options and run into an obstacle, they have the ability to back up and go down a different road, following one of their other options.
Ability to follow true passions
The person who engages in life with the attitude of “being magnificent” rather than “being perfect” will find it easier to acknowledge their passions and follow their heart. They do not place a high value on what others think, but rather on what makes them individually happy. And when the magnificent person engages in actions that are aligned with their beliefs, interests, and passions, they quickly see how natural the process feels, with fluidity and little effort, paired with a feeling of fulfillment.