A Coaching Power Tool created by Claudia Meza Bellota
(Equilibrium Coach, PERU)
Our opinions of ourselves actually get in the way of being ourselves.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, 2007
The definition for self-acceptance in the dictionary is:
The recognition and acceptance of one’s own qualities and limitations.
Self-acceptance means accepting ourselves fully for whom we are. We accept both the things we like about ourselves and the things we don’t. It is therefore an active process that involves a willingness to experience feelings, thoughts and emotions without denial or evasion.
It involves appreciate, validate, accept and support who we are at this very moment, even those parts we’d like to eventually change.
True self-acceptance means honestly accepting the facts of your reality, rather than choosing to deny, disown or repress the things you may not like about yourself.
Some people find fault like there’s a reward for it.
According to the dictionary self-judgment is interpreted as “the act or fact of judging oneself”.
Have you ever caught yourself using any of these statements?
I’m such a jerk. How could I have said that?
I’m so stupid. I should have learned this by now.
I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never do it right enough.
No one could love me. I’m not lovable.
Self-judgment is one of the major causes of fear, anger, anxiety and depression. Yet most people don’t realize that these painful feelings are the result of their own thoughts, their own self-judgments.
Inherent in our humanity is the need to judge and criticize. Most of us actually criticize ourselves more than other people. Generally, the hope of self-judgment is to protect against rejection and failure. “If I judge myself, then others won’t judge me and reject me. I can be safe from others’ judgment by judging myself first,” or “If I judge myself, I can motivate myself to do things right and succeed. Then I will feel safe and be loved and accepted by others.
Just as a child does far better in school with encouragement than with criticism, so do us as adults. Criticism tends to scare and immobilize us. Instead of motivating us, it often creates so much anxiety that we get frozen and become unable to take appropriate action for ourselves.
Self-acceptance enables us to embrace all facets of ourselves not just the positive, more “esteem-able” parts. We can recognize our weaknesses and limitations, but this awareness in no way interferes with our ability to fully accept ourselves. Self-acceptance leads to a new life with new possibilities that did not exist before because you were caught up in the struggle against reality.
When we accept ourselves with all of your flaws and unique talents, the world seems to become a more accommodating place. We’ll find that some of the causes of our stress disappear and we will gain more joy on a daily basis.
Self-acceptance empowers a more open, rewarding exchange with everyone in your life. When you love yourself, you broadcast positive energy to others and invite respect and kindness in return. Unconditional acceptance of each blessing and blemish helps you feel authentic and unique. Better relationships begin with self-acceptance.