Power Tool: Puzzled vs. Purposeful

A Coaching Power Tool created by Carol Keith
(Life Coaching, UNITED STATES)

Clients typically come to coaching because they are puzzled by something in their lives.   It might be a choice they have to make, a direction they need to head in, a relationship that isn’t going well, a transition they need to make, or any one of a variety of other things.

What is puzzled?

The dictionary defines puzzled as follows:

verb (used with object), puz·zled, puz·zling.

1. to put (someone) at a loss; mystify; confuse; baffle: Her attitude puzzles me.
2. to frustrate or confound, as the understanding; perplex: The problem puzzled him for weeks.
3. to exercise (oneself, one’s brain, etc.) over some problem or matter.
4. Archaic. to make intricate or complicated. verb (used without object), puz·zled, puz·zling.
5. to be perplexed or confused.
6. to ponder or study over some perplexing problem or matter.

At the time that clients come to a coach, they are what I will call “puzzled” – exercising one’s brain/psyche/emotions over some problem or matter. It is at this point one might employ a coach to seek clarity.

Ideally, coaching will take a client from this state of being “puzzled” to being “purposeful” – having a plan or a path in mind, setting goals to achieve that plan and having a way to measure forward progress.

What is good about being Puzzled?

The idea that a client is puzzling over something may indicate that he or she has self-awareness enabling them to recognize and contemplate the concern at hand.  It would certainly be better to be aware that there is an issue in one’s life, rather than to be totally oblivious.

To begin to puzzle over this issue could indeed be the catalyst for seeking a coach. It would only be if a person remained in that puzzled state that the disempowering would take over.

What is disempowering about being Puzzled?

From my perspective, the most disempowering feature of being puzzled is that it is a state that keeps us very inwardly focused.   We ruminate over something, we study it, we mull it over, we think about it, we try on the possibilities in our minds – we make it our focus for some period of time.  Consequently, we often have difficulty in our own strength to look above or beyond the issue that is puzzling us.

As a result, we frequently do not see the myriad of options that might be available to us as solutions to our issue because we are so narrowly focused.   Ideally we would seek out a coach.

What is Purposeful?

The dictionary defines purposeful as follows:

pur·pose·ful

adjective

1. having a purpose.
2. determined; resolute.
3. full of meaning; significant

Purposeful is a state of being or living that is full of meaning, direction and intent. It begins with a clear understanding and awareness of oneself, which would ideally progress to a clarity of mission or purpose. For example:

1. What do I value?
2. What principles do I choose to live by?
3. Each of us is currently and constantly creating our future by what we think and say. Shouldn’t we be clear about our purpose?

Coaching Application:  Shifting from Puzzled to Purpose

To shift from Puzzled to Purposeful, a client will need to begin with the self-awareness that defines oneself as a unique piece in the puzzle of life. Every individual is uniquely shaped, sized, colored, and equipped to fulfill their purpose. The idea of puzzling might be viewed as coming to know yourself. Who am I? When I am working with clients, I often begin my contract with them using a personality assessment to lay the foundation on which the ongoing exploration of self-awareness may rest.

Secondly, in the pursuit of a purposeful state, a client might benefit from visualization of what the ideal state of a purpose-filled life might look like.

For example:

1. Envision your potential. Envision this particular goal in a state of completion.  What does that look like?
2. Now envision your piece within the larger puzzle
3. Describe your life 3 years from now?
4. What are you doing?
5. What are you wearing?
6. Who are you meeting with?

Thirdly, a client would move forward toward reframing their current perspective armed with the knowledge of their own uniqueness, and having hope in front of them in the form of a visualized future. What a magnificent view from this perspective!

Here is the moment to take careful stock of what is less than ideal in one’s life currently and grab hold of the energy that propels one forward into creating structures that will make a purposeful state become reality.

Creating structures in one’s life puts an action plan in place, driving the client down the road to becoming purposeful. This involves day-to-day, moment-to-moment, working out of your values.  It is the natural emergence of habits centers around your purpose and vision. It is you becoming purposeful!

Each of the techniques, Self Awareness, Visualization, Reframing Perspective and Creating Structures are equally as powerful in achieving short-term and long-term progress.   Ideally, the end result of a coaching relationship for the client would be resolution of both their short-term goals and a realization of a long-term purpose for their life.

Questions for Reflection:

1. Who am I?
2. What do I value?
3. What principles do I choose to live by?
4. What am I doing 3 years from now?
5. How does this awareness affect my daily choices?
6. Am I moving forward toward a goal of my choosing?
7. How am I evaluating or re-evaluating my goal