What are some signs that conditioning might be holding you back?
- Feeling stuck.
- Sometimes, we might be doing the same thing again and again, expecting different results, but not getting it. Still we persist with what we know and what we’ve been taught, caught in a cycle, yearning to break free.
- Feeling unfulfilled
- Complaining but not taking action to change anything.
- Feeling like one doesn’t have the tools, energy or the know how to take action, to experiment
- Excessive fear of failure because one is conditioned to think that stepping outside will lead to danger.
- Blaming situations, society and all else around us.
- Fear of losing acceptance.
- Stagnation in “being”
What are some signs of being in an aware state?
- Taking responsibility of one’s own life and choices. Being in the driver’s seat of one’s life
- Tends to look at fixing problems, finding workaround and solutions.
- Having the ability to exercise creativity, finding and having outlets for expressing one’s creative talent.
- Constantly in a state of progress and growth
- Feeling fulfilled in life.
- Knows one’s values
- Being in a state of flow mostly
- Having a sense of being in harmony with yourself and all the elements that are interacting with you.
- Having a sense of your purpose and all your actions propel you towards your desired purpose
We are not slaves of our past, of destiny, of fate. We can carve our destiny. We can carve our future if only we dream.
To break free from limiting conditioning’s of yesterday and today, the tool we need is awareness.
Like mentioned before, conditioning need not always be unfavorable. But it is awareness that helps us discern if it is limiting or liberating.
It is said that our biggest strengths are our biggest weaknesses.
What works in one situation will not work in another. It is awareness of precisely the dynamics of the situation, our reactions and the reactions of the external environ that will determine, what would be the most optimal plan of action there.
In coaching, we often talk about clients being stuck.
What makes them stuck?
In many cases, something that they are trained to do or have an opinion that is no longer serving them.
But they desperately hold on it for the security of the familiar or because they don’t know what else to do.
What would happen if our Client becomes aware of his/her behaviour and what it is precipitating?
This simple awareness gives them immense power and clarity. They are now able to make a decision armed with this knowledge. In today’s world of rat races, many of us are running for an invisible prize. Many of us don’t even know the prize but are running because we are expected to.
What if we take a moment to take stock?
As a coach how can we support a client who is stuck in a conditioning mode to shift into a state of awareness?
Through powerful questioning and reframing perspectives, we can raise awareness. Codesigning the next steps and plans are essential to keeping progress ongoing. The makes the abstract concrete and gives space to the client to explore, experiment, make mistakes and come out stronger. This also provides accountability and a concrete track record of learnings to gain confidence in the area of awareness, whilst having the safe environment of coaching to fall back on.
Taking stock of progress periodically and mirroring that to the client is powerful in keeping the motivation levels high.
Celebrations are immensely strong positive reinforcements of new habits and help in creating new neural pathways for habit formation.
Visualisation is another powerful tool in giving an idea for the time the mantel of reality and the first step to committing to this idea.
Cocreating structures unique to the Client to help them manage progress on their own and develop autonomy.
How do we sustain the empowered state of self-awareness?
Self-reflection is key to self-awareness.
One can put in several structures in place to aid in sustaining the process and habit of self-awareness
These could be,
- Daily meditation
- Scheduling a time in every day for self-reflection
- Following other practices which bring meaning to the individual, like, prayer, running, jogging etc.
- Celebrating the big and small wins especially at the beginning
- Having an accountability partner
- Writing out clearly what the goal is and putting up visual reminders and positive messages where they can be seen if a visual person.
- Defining obstacles and ways of overcoming it.
- Are my goals REALLY mine?
- What is this giving me?
- What do I really want in life?
- Am I getting what I want by doing what I am doing?
- What is propelling me towards my current thoughts and behaviour?
- What are my resources in effecting change?
- What are my obstacles?
- How can I overcome them?
- What structures can I put in place in sustain my new behaviour?