A zone that might be more pleasurable than the one we have been in before, but not as pleasurable as knowing and striving towards what we want. A zone, that doesn’t pull us to take action. Indeed it „only“pushes us away from something, we perceive as threatening. In the end we will end up wandering around it in circles, avoiding or even neglecting what we don’t want and focusing on the problem and without going anywhere particular.
So which motivational strategy for change do you usually utilize? And which one is the most powerful one? Do you have a topic that always shows up again and again? Always when you thought you finally left it behind you it seemed to be waiting around the next corner to say hello again? That might be an unwanted habit, attribution, thought, behavior, attitude which would be interesting to reflect on as well. If you don’t want to reflect on something specific, just reflect on your present life.
Pls. take a plain piece of paper, write on the top in the middle the overall topic you want to reflect on and divide it into three columns.
Then take a deep breath, get centered into the here and presence and let go all worries or thoughts.
Title the first Colum :
My “get Away from“-s : „What I don’t want“ or „what I would like to have less in my live“ and fill in everything that comes into your mind, that you would like to leave behind you: habits, connected thoughts, attributions you make related to the topic, feelings, attitudes …
As soon as you have done that, title the 2nd column „ My going towards to“-s: „What do I want to have instead„ and fill it with whatever appears in your mind. While doing this pls. Give your inner criticizing voice a vacation and start filling these columns, with whatever comes into your mind. Let your soul and not your thoughts guide the pencil while you are writing.
If you have done that pls. title the next column: What would I gain from having less/more …. (items you mentioned in the first two columns) in my life?“ and complete.
Now pls. take a look on your „Get Away From“-s and your “Going Towards To“-s and on what you would gain from having less from the first and more from then second in your life.
Can you detect any patterns or congruencies? Does one column motivate you more to stand up and just go for a change? Which column shows you the direction in which a change would need to take place? What is the beauty of having both columns in mind?