A Coaching Power Tool Created by Amitabh Das Gupta
(Transformational Coach, AUSTRALIA)
Bruce Lee once said that a warrior was
an average person with laser-like focus.
One of the greatest challenges of our world today is that it is more easy to get distracted than ever before. With social media invading our worlds, staying focused is more difficult than ever. Focus requires commitment and personal responsibility. It’s logically clear that a focused mind will be far more effective than a mind distracted by emails, texts, and voice messages. So, why is this even a problem? Why would people not be ruthless about cultivating their focus and eliminating the behaviour that distracts? Because of the payoff.
Every bad habit has a big payoff, no matter how dysfunction it looks on the surface. Before eliminating that habit, we want to identify and acknowledge the payoff it gives. There is always a payoff to someone engaging in unworkable behavior. No matter how costly the behavior is to the individual, there is always a perceived upside for engaging in that behavior. Payoffs are nothing more than expensive benefits that people receive for engaging in unworkable behaviors or tolerating unwanted situations. There is also a perceived downside for letting go of the behavior. If I stop checking my email every ten minutes I might miss something. I might miss an opportunity that’s time-sensitive. I might lose that sense of reassurance I get that people want me and need me. “Look! My cell phone says I have a text! People like me!” Focus requires that the anxious people-pleasing and instant- gratification behaviors be set aside for the higher good. It also requires that we are willing to engage our minds in the one thing that matters at the time. Life moves forward with greater velocity and power after this.
Focus the sun with a magnifying glass and you can burn a dead leaf in a matter of seconds. Allow the unfocused sun to shine down onto all the dead leaves in the forest and the decomposing process will take weeks. Our lives are exactly the same. Tony Robbins says “Where Focus goes, energy flows. If you want to achieve extraordinary results and fulfillment in life, you must begin at the center source of all your choices, decisions, feelings and experience — your focus
Many of us get swept into low return activities that lead us nowhere. At other time we may believe we are constantly driving the direction of our focus, however the uncomfortable truth is much of our focus time is spent dwelling on what we don’t want or fear may happen. By allowing ourselves to imagine or preemptively feel negative outcomes, we inform our bodies and minds to prepare for exactly this — what we don’t want, rather than what we do.
When you focus on what’s missing from your life, you will be left with feelings of emptiness and unhappiness. When you focus on what you do have, you will experience true gratitude. Training yourself for gratefulness will create endless opportunities for you.
Application in Coaching
A coach helps to discover the goal behind the goal. This is the undisclosed goals which the client wants to achieve but have not acknowledged. The Coach discovers the why of the goals so that he and the client are not barking on the wrong tree. Once the true goal is identified, the necessary action steps are spelled out. These actions are then put into the calendar. This produces a powerful focus on high-return activity and eliminates the tendency of (even the brightest) clients to spray their mental energy wastefully throughout the day. The coach also helps make clients aware of the consequence of the not taking actions. Quality questions create a quality life. They direct our mental focus and therefore determine how we think and feel.
The following Coaching questions are designed to help direct you focus and help you experience more happiness, excitement, pride, gratitude, joy, commitment and love every day of your life.
- What are you most happy about in my life now? What about that makes you happy? How does that make you feel?
- What are you most excited about in my life now? What about that makes me excited? How does that make you feel?
- What are you most proud about in your life now? What about that makes you proud? How does that make you feel?
- What are you most grateful about in your life now? What about that makes you grateful? How does that make you feel?
- What are you enjoying most in my life right now? What about that do you enjoy? How does that make you feel?
- What are you committed to in your life right now? What about that makes you committed? How does that make you feel?
- Who do you love? Who loves you ? What about that makes you loving? How does that make you feel?
References
Straight Line Leadership – Dusan Djukich
Tony Robbins Blog
