Background

It started six years ago with a sense of feeling lost, uncertain, and trapped. I was doing something that I was not happy doing and did not have a sense of fulfillment or accomplishment in whatever I participated in. I was part of the rat race, following exactly what everyone was doing. Work was the primary task occupying my time and I just worked hard to get to the weekend. Saving up for a breather – a chance to travel after a few months in. Dreams and goals were things that only existed while you were sleeping. I had the hope that one day something would change and that I would eventually find something that “I love” to do.

That all changed when I decided to venture into a business opportunity; it opened my mind to new teachings and philosophies. When that door opened, it allowed many other things to pile in, one after the other. The main thing that I collected was knowledge and the more I grew to gather more information, the more I became aware and gained clarity. From all of this, I believe what resonated with me the most was setting a goal. It defined a purpose deep within; I realized that it stirred something important within me giving me the drive to move and act.

The perception I had about goals was that they were mainly to be achieved and to get what one is supposed to at the end. But with time, I realized it is not achieving the goal that counts but the learning and experience that is gained through the journey.

Realization

What causes people to seek an opportunity to try something different or venture down a new path? I narrow it down to two points: a personal choice (visionary) or external force (trauma). If it is neither one of these two, the individual would choose to stay where they are, sitting comfortably. Not necessarily happy or content, just comfortable; about why they should bother doing this or that if they are “ok”. The measure of comfort should be related to the emotion and the pillars that represent that individual’s life. Personally, what made me choose the change towards a new journey was my personal choice, because I had a clear vision of what I could create and how it could serve my needs/wants (the pillars).

Decline

gradual physical or mental sinking and wasting away
a change to a lower state or level
the period during which something is deteriorating or approaching its end
(Merriam-Webster, 2020)

What implications does decline have on an individual?

Mindset: fixed
Emotion: sad/weary/down
Health: prone to get sick
Behavior: lazy/anxious/volatile
Energy: low/depleted

Those are some of the indicators that would keep a person in a state of unhappiness. But let us explore some of the reasons that cause a person to be in that state might be.

Comfort: getting comfortable with the current situation
Attached: not wanting to let go
Fear: a change towards something new or unfamiliar which might lead to failure
Underlying belief: the subconscious program from an experience or someone else’s experience.

Not learning / not gaining experience / not overcoming challenges /not thinking differently or creatively – will be reasons why a person could reach a declining state. Just by focusing on the word comfort, it is been used quite a lot – “you are in your comfort zone”. In the comfort zone, no changes or gains occur because we end up doing the things we are already accustomed to doing.

A simple method to allow a client to set off on a new path is by identifying a goal. Without a goal, one is in a state where they have nothing to work towards and make no effort to gain knowledge to achieve something.

Setting a goal is done with a clear level of awareness – without this mindset, one wouldn’t be focused on the values and principles that represent him or her. Many thoughts and learnings are gained through our surroundings and the people we interact with. If we are to notice the behavior or characteristics that people would foster, it becomes apparent that most people lack confidence and appear uncertain.

Being in a declining state, individuals are not aware of the abilities they have in hand – undiscovered talent that is left hidden. So how are these talents uncovered and how is a life of growth created?

Bob Proctor said that humans are spiritual beings; they become content and fulfilled as the spirit grows. If goals were intended to be set for us to accumulate material wealth, why are so many people miserable and unhappy? It is goals that are intended to give us a purpose through which to grow and expand. When we are done with a goal we have set, we set another and challenge ourselves with a more challenging goal than the previous one. (Proctor, 2019)

Growth

the act or process, or a manner of growing; development; gradual increase
size or stage of development
completed development
development from a simpler to a more complex stage
(Dictionary.com, 2020)

What benefits does growth have on an individual?

Mindset: positive
Emotion: enthusiastic/cheerful/alive
Health: vital and well balanced
Behavior: active/curios/conscientious
Energy: high/strong

The above are some of the identifiers that place a person in a state of happiness. Let us explore what e some of the reasons that would cause a person to be in this state might be:

Uncomfortable: getting comfortable to be uncomfortable/adapting to new challenges
Focused: focused on a goal
Failure: not afraid to fail as failure gives new learnings
Underlying belief: be aware of the beliefs that stop them and find ways to change the paradigm.

Being in a growth state makes an individual prone to learn and push forward towards the goal. The mindset accepts any challenges and failures that are faced with a solution-oriented approach geared towards finding ways to overcome obstacles.

First, let us try to understand how to get there. You need to be aware of yourself; have a clear understanding of what represents your principles and values. With that in place, the different pillars are well defined in the individual’s life allowing for a goal to be set. Once a goal is set based on what they value, they will always feel empowered to move forward towards attaining it. As they embark on the path of action, they tend to learn a lot from the experience and obstacles faced be it the people you meet or the things that you need to do to reach certain milestones. They tend to adapt to the situation, own the moment, and turn on the creativity in them to set forth towards the goal. You will also notice that the person goes through a journey of development and growth; as the goal is achieved, the fun is derived from the stories and memories created as they reach the finish line.

This gives the person certain traits that they exude which I call the three C’s: courage, confidence, and contentment.

Courageous: they take the chances regardless of their fears
Confident: faith/belief in one’s own ability
Content: satisfied/fulfilled

What people notice about such individuals is that they are very much grounded and centered They are also focused on accomplishing what they have started. But what is most important is that they lead their lives towards the direction they choose, which eventually will cause all the hidden talents they possess inside to manifest.

Mel Robbins said we start with Plan A. We put it into action though we might not end up with Plan A we intended a Plan W instead. That is fine because what matters is that you move forward and work for it instead of, after ten years, wishing you had leaped. (Robins, 2019)

Why we end up with Plan W is because we are no longer the person we were when we designed Plan A; day by day, we grow and learn and develop our awareness and mindset. We come out of it with so much more and with clarity regarding who we are.

How to apply it in Coaching

The client needs to realize that they need to change and they want to move towards a new path.
Create self-awareness to allow the client to understand their energy and values. Using tools such as the personality test and the Wheel of Life are good ways to start.
The Wheel of Life identifies the areas that require focus. The client may choose one to work towards – setting a goal.
Setting a clear intention towards achieving the goal.
Understand the client’s expectations from the goal.
1. What will it look like?
2. How will their life be after successfully achieving it?
Define what learnings the client needs to support their path towards the goal.
Allow the client to come up with a plan to start putting things into action.
What structure will the client need to build to support the action plan?
Allow the client to identify the support mechanism to assist them along the way.
Most importantly, celebrate the little wins on the way towards the big win (end goal).

Bibliography

Dictionary.com. (2020). Growth. Retrieved from Dictionary: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/growth#

Merriam-Webster. (2020). Decline. Retrieved from Merriam-Webster: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/decline

Proctor, B. (2019, August 8). CREATE or Disintegrate. Retrieved from YouTube: Proctor Gallagher Institute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9v-pEDx9bA

Robins, M. (2019). Take Control of Your Life (Narrated by Mel Robbins). Audible Original. Audiobook.