A Coaching Model Created by Xenia Knapp
(Millennial Coach, GERMANY)
This coaching model is the fundamental work about connecting the client with themselves to build their lives based on who the client really is. This model is based on a combination of the existential theory, the model of the self-transforming mind and my own experiences. After setting this base, there is a need to be a regular check-in about this connection and possible changes about themselves. This means that the fundaments of this coaching model “be free” and “be enough” is working progress in the journey of life.
Free Enough – “Build Your Life Based On Your True Self”
This model can be compared with a house. It takes time to build a house. After this building phase it needs to be renovated, some things need to be fixed or rebuild. Sometimes people extend things, build a pool in the garden or paint it in a different color.
The “building” phase can be split into three different parts. These parts are “be free”, “be enough” and “be your true self”.
“Be free” and “be enough” is the foundation for the house, to stay with this metaphor.
The part of “be free” is meant to set the client free of the values, beliefs, and emotions that are not really their own. Many people live a life created by the ideas of others. They create a life based on values, belief and emotions that they think are their own, but they are created by society and our environment.
For example, someone starts a career with the goal to gain status and money. This person is doing this because society and their family tell them this is the thing to go for. There are two possible outcomes. First, the person fails in the approach to be successful in this career due to the fact that this is not what this person really wants deep down inside. The second one is, that this person succeeds but is not happy due to the same reason, because it is not what this person wants deep inside.
As a coach, we need to support our clients to find what keeps the client prisoner in their own lives and to be free, to build their own measuring system.
The process in this part of the model is to support the client to create awareness about the beliefs and values the client is making discussions based on.
The second step is to gain a broader view of possible values and beliefs by challenging the client to gain new perspectives and get out of their comfort zone.
The last step is to align the values and beliefs the client is using as a base to what they found in the exploration. In this step, the coach helps the client to really connect with which values and beliefs are the once the client really owns. On one hand, the basic values of the client will be pointed out. On the other hand, beliefs may need to be changed to fit the reality of the client (cognitive dissonance).
In this process, the client finds their own values, works on their own beliefs and is creating their unique measuring system.
The second part is “be enough”. With this part, the client gets empowered to find their strength, basic values, and uniqueness.
A lot of people are not aware of their true potential and who they really are. The coach needs to support the client in a way that focuses on their positive tributes. Another aspect is to help the client not to focus on what they are not and rather focus on who they are, even or especially if they are different than others.
The work with the coach starts with the same base as the “be free” part. The client creates awareness about their strength and their uniqueness. After this, the experience of getting to know other perspectives and getting out of the comfort zone takes place as well. The last step in “be enough” is to combine both parts to support the client to step in their true potential.
A side effect of this basic work will an increase in the self-confidence of the client. Finding and building something for their own is really important for that.
Based on this foundation the construction of the house can start. The client starts now with the support of the coach to “be your true self”. Based on their own potential, values, and beliefs the client can find a way to use their strength and uniqueness to build their dream life. In this “construction” part the focus shifts from the main inner work to get more parts of outgoing action.
The four steps here are creating a vision, setting goals, creating a strategy to reach them and create action steps based on this.
The coach needs to find the areas in which the client needs the most support. Everyone is different. Everyone is on a different stage in life and on a different level of connection with themselves. Especially, in the foundation “be free” and “be enough” the coach hast to get a status quo where the client stands before the actual work can start. Not everyone will need the whole spectrum of coaching in both of these areas.
After this building process, a regular check-up is needed. People change, life changes, we get new opportunities. This means that the results of this coaching journey will not be the end. Life is a journey itself and therefor working on ourselves is a journey. The client will figure out that in this journey things change for them, this is normal. This is one reason for checking in, to realize if something changes and adjust it. With this in mind, the client can accept life as a journey and live it this way.
With this foundation, the client can maybe continue working by themselves. Maybe the client needs a coach every now and then, maybe the client needs different coaches for different stages. It is up to the client.
More and more people live a life that is not aligned with their true selves. This leads to existential crises or even depressions.
The more people align with their true self the happier and more fulfilled their lives can be. This can also be prevented from existential crises.
Due to that the target market for this coaching model are humans in a life stage where a potential crisis is about to appear or if the potential client realizes the need to align their life with their true self to make a change.
An ideal client is a person who is willing to challenge and change their current life. This person needs to have to desire to really figure out who they are. The openness for the process of self-reflection and -change is the base for this coaching relationship.
My clients come to me looking for themselves and I help them find this using awareness- and challenging-processes.