A Coaching Model By Cassie Sandor, Women in Hospitality Coach, UNITED STATES
Un-Muddling Coach Approach
As coaches we look, especially at the beginning of our journey for the magic question that creates an “aha” moment for the client, one that brings a sense of clarity. And while this can indeed be the case, for me it isn’t always as simple as one question or even one session and sometimes the clarity that can come then creates further twists and turns on the journey to where the client wants to end up.
Coaching is a journey that you have asked me to join you on, but it isn’t a straightforward one with a clear beginning and end. I picture the process of coaching as you are presenting a muddle of thoughts and ideas of what is on your mind and where you want to be. Through the partnership of our conversation, we slowly start to un-muddle all these thoughts and ideas as well as emotions and behaviors. At each stage the muddle is becoming looser, slowly it is no longer so muddled maybe the endpoint still isn’t clear and doesn’t look like a straight unwound line, but you have found a way forward, with actions to try and reflections to pounder. All of which helps you to find your way out of the muddle.
The coaching model of ‘Un-muddling” seeks to serve you to make sense of the middle of what is on your mind, sometimes that may be deeply tangled, and other times it is looser and will be quick to grab those threads and make sense of what’s is going on. Either way, the result will be a greater understanding of where you want to be and how you can make that possible. Along the way Un-muddling parts of you that may have been hidden behind the muddle.
Un-Muddling Is Based on 5 Stages
1. Curious About Where You Would Like to Be
Around here, however we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. Walt Disney
Curious is the start of the Un-Muddling. Many times, when conversations start, we are unclear about where we will end up. Coaching is no different, often the idea that is on your mind at the beginning is not what ends up being the focus of the session.
By inviting a sense of curiosity, you can explore deeper your current situation, the impact this is having, and what your ideal outcome would be. This happens when we are both open and curious about what is being said, not making assumptions, and remaining fluid and at the moment. I will respond, questioning, and share observations that help to uncover those threads that commence the Un-Muddling.
Curiosity remains throughout the coaching conversation but at the beginning of Un-Muddling, it helps us both to identify and hold on to that first loose end by coming to understand exactly how you are perceiving your current situation, how it is impacting you, what you would like to be different and where you would like to get to by the end of the session.
2. Imagine What Is Possible
Begin with the end in mind. Stephen R Covey
Now that we have hold of the threads of what you wish to achieve it is time to use your imagination. In the Seven Habits of High Effective People, Stephen R Covey suggests that all things are created twice, with the physical creation following the mental creation.
This Imagine step provides the space to un-muddle the mental creation of your goal, uncovering the motivations and vision for your outcome and helping you to explore what achieving this looks like and means to you. This enables you to be clear on what the result would be and in doing so helps you to fully connect to the realization of your goal.
3. Believe That It Can Be True
Everything outside of you, is neutral. It just IS. How you experience the world, is how you interpret it. Sas Petherick
Now that you have a greater understanding of where you wish to be in terms of a goal or outcome, it is helpful to understand how you are currently experiencing your world and how that shows up in your actions, behaviors, or habits. By understanding these factors, you can identify if anything is standing in your way of achieving your desire.
By un-muddling any ways that could be holding you back, you can start to move to a different perspective and instead believe and trust that you can make your goals or dreams a reality.
4. Wisdom Is in the Knowledge That We Gain
One part of wisdom is knowing what we don’t need any more and letting it go. Jane Fonda
The muddle is now becoming looser with clearly distinguishable strands that allow you to take a step back and see things more clearly. At this stage, it is good to take some time to verbalize what you are coming to understand about yourself and the situation. Maybe there is a belief that you had been holding onto that you now need to let go of, or there is some knowledge that you have gained that makes the situation clearer to you than it was at the beginning of our conversation.
5. Momentumone Step at a Time
For any movement to gain momentum, one must start with a small step. Adam Braun
You may now be excited to get going, your mind may be busy with all kinds of suggestions of what you need to do, and you are itching to get started. Or you may now be thinking gosh where do I even start. Both thought patterns are normal and whichever side or in-between you are at we will take the time to explore what you can do following our session. Maybe it’s a full-on action list or maybe it’s one small step that can get you closer to the goal. What is important is that together we take the time to be curious about the what, the how and the when of these actions.