A Coaching Model Created by Stephanie Uribe
(Wellness Coach, SOUTH AFRICA)
It is not so uncommon for someone to state a goal that they desire to do or accomplish and then years later still have that very same goal with not much progress towards completing it. What happens in this process? There is always a reason or some kind of. The hardship gets in the way. “Well, we just got married” or “my work just got too busy.” I was always just too tired” or “the kids took all of my time.”There is always an excuse as to why it hasn’t happened or at times individuals just feel sorry for themselves almost seeing themselves as the victims of life’s hardships and circumstances. We then look back at the time gone and ask ourselves, “Where did the time go?” “At this point, I could have been more of an expert in ___” or “At this point, I could have lost the weight I was hoping to lose, but instead now I’ve made no progress.” What happens? Why do we do this?
Goals are created for a reason, they are to have a vision towards something you want to accomplish and it is meant to serve as a north star for you to be able to maintain focus, a critical path, and it helps you to set up mini-goals to accomplish the larger ones. The very definition of a goal is the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; an aim; an end.” In its very definition, a goal is a result of effort directed, with the effort being the keyword. One cannot accomplish a goal without effort. We aren’t all able to sit around and have our goals magically land in our hands. I wish! Wouldn’t that be nice to have our own magic genies to grant us our wishes? For some reason, something does get in our way from making the effort to accomplish our goals. There often is a barrier or perhaps a limiting belief someone holds that prevents them from taking action. They say they will try but don’t commit. There is no space left or created to imagine a reality that can be different or even imagine the path forward to accomplishing the goal/s. Even more difficult, we often begin to criticize ourselves and have very little self-compassion causing feelings of guilt or shame for not making any progress.
Given this reality, that is where a coach can be a great support to empower the client into finding self-compassion and their own motivation to move into action as well as keep them accountable. A coach can help a client imagine a new reality by reframing their minds to remember that life is a journey and it isn’t linear, it is never too late to start on one’s goals. In fact, Jay Shetty, a purpose and life coach, posted on his Instagram recently “Don’t forget you can: start at 30; fail at 35; start again at 36; not be great; get better; be different than everyone else; go after the wrong business; find you lane; find your right business; start again at 40 and still succeed.” It is never too late to make that effort and to imagine oneself living the goals they have so long desired for themselves. That is where this coaching model IMAGINE can be applied to help a client IMAGINE a new future for themselves, one that they’ve always dreamed of, one that you have always wanted and can have. IMAGINE is a process based on wellness, mindfulness, and the art of self-compassion that can be used to accomplish holistic wellness in a client’s personal and professional life.
Illuminate your vision and goal. What is it that you hope to accomplish and what is your current reality right now? At times, clients have a vague idea of what they want to accomplish but it might be soft around the edges and need fine-tuning. They often need the space to think about it or even space to even just voice it out into the universe.
During this stage of the process, a coach can support the client to really illuminate and make clear their vision or goal that they want to accomplish in a way that is easy for the client and the coach to understand. This is also a great stage for the coach and client to clarify their coach relationship, develop trust, and for the coach to begin to understand the client’s current reality.
During the “meet” stage of the client process, this is where the coach supports the client to really explore the current reality shared. How does the client view the world? What does the client think? The client will share their thoughts, feelings, and emotions with the coach and truly let themselves be vulnerable to let the coach understand what drives the client and the behaviors or habits that might be holding the client back.
It is in this stage, where the coach might use direct communication to allow the client to softly meet the stories, he or she might tell themselves that might be only one-sided or limiting. It is here where the coach might point out inconsistencies said by the client to show a difference between what the clients want or says and how they are behaving. This of course should always be done with the utmost care and a firm coach/client relationship should be established at this point with lots of trusts. Ideally, it is at this stage where the coach can orchestrate the client to meet themselves almost from a bird’s eye view to see the limiting perspectives and/or the beliefs and habits that have kept them back from accomplishing their goals with new eyes and with self-compassion.
In this stage of the process, the client actualizes a broadening of their perspectives to see other potential realities. It is at this stage where the client’s eyes open even wider to see other angles, other stories, other ways of being. It is in the stage where the client looks at themself with eyes of curiosity, like a scientist or a third party, “how else might this situation look like?”This is when the client starts to create and develop mindfulness and awareness about their situation and brings attention to their previous thoughts, feelings, and limiting behaviors but doesn’t cling to them. They no longer own the client, but the client now owns them. This is the stage where they see that before they were trapped often thinking things should be a certain way, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be the truth nor does it need to be how they continue to live. This is where the client overcomes the “poor me” mentality and looks deeply at their situation and sees all the layers and causes and conditions that have gotten them there in the first place.
It is in this stage where the coach can push the client to imagine themselves as if they were someone else. What might they say to that person knowing it isn’t them in this same situation? How might someone from different parts of the world, different age groups, different life experiences look at this situation or interpret it? It is here where the coach pushes the client to see the world with different lenses to realize that the lens they choose is one option, but there are many more they can choose from to support them to accomplish their goals. It is in this stage where the coach has the client apply self-compassion and realize their excuses for not accomplishing their goals before are really just that excuses and that they can actually be in a state of creating their life and future instead of watching it slip by year after year. They are in the driver’s seat if they allow themselves to be.
During this stage of the process, the client gains control of what they can and lets go of what they can. With their newfound understanding that the reality they were living was just that, one reality, it is in this stage where the client learns to understand what is in their control versus not. It is in this stage where the client understands just how much they can influence and lets go of what they cannot as well as actively release their limiting beliefs or habits.
In this stage, the coach will continue to push the client into exploring new realities but also in those realities start to think about what is in their control versus not utilizing the circle of influence tool (if appropriate). Here the client finds freedom in shedding some of what has been weighing them down by officially letting go of those limiting beliefs by acknowledging them and knowing they are there and might pop up from time to time, but they don’t have to take control of their life or actions.
During this stage of the process, the client has explored other new realities and has made a philosophical commitment to acknowledge their limiting beliefs but not let them control their reality. It is in this stage where the client envisions their new reality and perspectives and determines what resonates with the person they are becoming and have always wanted to be.
The coach at this stage, really lets the client be in the driver’s seat and explore. The coach should work to establish a space that allows for the utmost creativity and brainstorming so that the client can imagine their life creatively and without restrictions. Here the client is in motion and the energy should maintain its high elevation as the client has been empowered to re-construct a new normal for themselves.
As the client begins to envision and state their new reality and perspective, it is in this state of motion that the client channels their newfound inner power to design their new reality. It is here where the actioning of the client’s plan to accomplish their goal happens.
In this stage, the coach still allows the client to continue to drive. The coach might push the client to think about what types of support structures they might need to make this new perspective a reality in the client’s everyday life. The coach will push the client to think of barriers as well as timelines and immediate steps to keep the momentum going along with support the client’s long-term design for sustainable change.
The last stage of the process is where the client celebrates their new reality and perspectives and looks to expand it into all areas of their life to see patterns and to see how they can apply newfound strategies to other areas and goals. It is here where they find freedom by fully embracing who they are and their journey. It is here where a more empowered life of self-compassion begins.
In this stage, the coach should work to acknowledge and celebrate the client’s progress and new insight. The coach here reflects to make sure the client’s goals are met and that true progress has been made. It is here where the coach’s work is done and the client is left to embrace their new life and freedom.
Illuminate– your vision and reality
Meet the stories you tell yourself and the beliefs/habits that hold you back with self-compassion
Actualize a broadening of your perspective to see other realities
Gain control of what you can and let go of what you can’t
Integrate new realities and perspectives
Nurture your inner power to design your new reality
Expand your life and find freedom