A Coaching Model Created by Samar Naim
(Life and Executive Coach, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES)
Pre-Model Conversation
- What are your initial thoughts and feelings about SELFISH?
- What words do you associate with SELFISH?
- What is driving you to explore further?
My Model; My Definitions
Coaching is a powerful conversation that enables change.
It is essentially a self-directed journey…
- Selfish is…
Having interest in oneself; Putting oneself first; Being true to oneself.
- Your World is…
- Your life (with everything happening in it). Your world is “yours” and you are the axis about which it rotates .
- Your Story is…
What you share in our coaching conversation mainly targeted towards achieving certain goal(s) and being what you aspire to be.
The S-E-L-F-I-S-H Concept
- As I always say, we are multidimensional and multilayered beings.
- “You” are multilayered
- “You” can be an individual or an organization/ entity
- At the core of you is what you really want
- The outside of you is what the inside manifests itself as
- If you cater to the core, the core will be happy and the outside will appear and be happy
- By and by, the outside happiness will become at the core and what was on the inside will become the actual outside
The Duality of S-E-L-F-I-S-H
Focusing on what you really want, working on living the story you want to live, and being the person you want to be will make you happy… When you are happy, you can share your happiness with your world and make your world happy.
The S-E-L-F-I-S-H Model
Share your story; Set your goal
In this layer, clients share their initial concept & vision of what they want.
For the Client
- Share your expectations about coaching and the coaching process
- Share what you require from the coaching interaction
For the Coach
- Share with the client the grounds of coaching (what is coaching; what is not coaching)
- Invite the client to share his/her story in a safe space of confidentiality and trust
- Identify and support the client’s goal(s) and what the client wants to achieve or change
- Discuss with the client the parameters of the coaching relationship and process
Useful Questions include:
- What is your story?
- What do you really want (to accomplish through coaching)?
- How would you know when you get there?
- What are your expectations of our coaching interaction?
- How do you want to go about this coaching experience with me?
- What approaches motivate you/ take away your motivation?
- How would you best describe my role (as a coach) in this journey?
Explore your world; Engage within “you”
In this layer, clients explore the foundation they will build upon… the canvas they will paint on.
For the Client
- Explore your story and how it relates to your world; how your goal fits within and interacts with your life
- Really engage “you” within your world, your story, and yourself (given your values, your beliefs, your lifestyle, who you are, who you want to be…)
For the Coach
- Engage through active listening, powerful questions and direct communication to help the client explore his/ her reality and current situation and how that relates to what is within
- Share your observations and help the client create awareness
- Be present in the moment and offer guidance: How can I help you?
- Re-visit “S” to make sure that it is the “real” story and goal not the “cover up” story and goal
Useful Questions include:
- What is happening now?
- What is the effect of that on you?
- What makes this issue so important to you?
- What is driving you to tackle this issue/reach this goal now?
- Is this what you really want?
- Whose grid are you really filling by doing this?
- How will your world change if you achieve this goal?
- What will happen if you do not achieve this goal?
- How does achieving this goal make you feel/ think?
- What value(s) does this issue relate to?
- What belief(s) is behind this way of thinking/ feeling?
- What is the effect of this belief/ value on you?
Live your story; Learn about “you”
In this layer, clients prepare the needed building blocks & experiment with their contrasting colors.
For the Client
- By living what you aspire to be, you learn more about yourself and you discover your potential
- Learn how you can capitalize on/ develop certain qualities that can serve you better and how you can identify, define, and live with or without certain qualities that are not serving you
- Lead yourself in a forward moving, growing, and positive mind set
- Be open to opportunities and possibilities (even in the most seemingly daunting situations)
- Reinforce your awareness; organize your thoughts; nurture your feelings; align and be “one”
For the Coach
- Learn about your client’s skills and strengths
- Use techniques and frameworks such as (visualization, NLP, and Appreciative Inquiry)
- Co-create, enthuse, encourage, and acknowledge
- Help the client discover new thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions and inspire them to reframe to more empowering perspectives
Useful Questions include:
- What have you done so far?
- What haven’t you done that you need to do?
- What do you already have that can help you?
- What would it be like to get there? (Describe)
- What needs to be changed now to reach your goal?
- What is in you that can help you?
- How can you see this differently?
- How is this serving/ not serving you?
- What is in the way? How can you deal with it?
- What is paving the way?
- What else could you do?
- What are your strengths in this area? How can they better serve you?
- What skills do you need to develop for this to happen?
