A Coaching Model Created by Robin Lelyveld
(Health, Transitions & Life Coach, UNITED STATES)
Empowr1 Coaching: The path to discovery, growth & change
Like a lotus flower we too have the ability to rise up from the mud, bloom out of the darkness and radiate into the world.
Imagine your soul as the lotus flower.
We are surrounded by “mud” in our world…adversity, pain, loss, suffering and hardship. If we are unable to adapt to a new role, status or life changing situation, we may unknowingly assume a disempowering perspective that negatively impacts us and how we communicate and build relationships with others. For example, we may become more rigid in our thinking, i.e. it is our way or the highway, losing our ability to hold onto an idea without considering other options or choices. We may develop tunnel vision or become angry, withdrawn, resentful or turned inward, causing further emotional disequilibrium. These emotions are warehoused in darkness, where little light is allowed to enter this negative space. Over time, self-defeating, disempowering thoughts and beliefs can cause us to feel stuck and incapable of taking action. It is as if we are on autopilot continuing to spin our wheels without really questioning what other choices or options we have. This can be challenging especially when we are busy with life, raising kids, working, and/or caring for elderly parents and finding ourselves with even less time to consider changing our situation or making choices that may be beneficial to all. Or, maybe we suddenly find ourselves with new found time on our hands, and getting in our own way because of unwillingness to let go of limiting beliefs that are no longer working for us. When we are stuck, it is easy to look for quick fixes, thereby becoming more frustrated and angry when they do not work or we do not get the get the outcome we want. When we find ourselves with a disempowering perspective, that is negative and “low light” it is easy to stay in an inactive position.
Just as the lotus flower takes root amidst the mud in order to bloom, we must look deeper at ourselves and at those deeply rooted underlying thoughts and beliefs that we are holding that may no longer be serving us in order for us to grow and reach our potential. What if you could identify those self-defeating, disempowering feelings of fear, frustration, sadness and anger that are getting in your way? What if you allowed yourself to work through your “hidden truths” and obstacles to further your development? What is stopping you from “seeing the light” achieving your potential and fully blooming? Why not allow yourself to see that you have the potential for greatness, to fulfill your dreams, and go after your goals? Why not count your blessings instead of focusing on your troubles.
To me, the lotus flower represents spiritual enlightenment, rebirth and is a metaphor for personal EMPOWERMENT. Symbolizing beauty and purity, the lotus finds its resting place in the muck. “The thicker and deeper the mud, the more beautiful the lotus blooms.” The lotus reblooms each day, opening its clean petals while rejuvenating itself amidst the muck, refusing to accept defeat and succumb to the mud. A lotus fully bloomed and open represents full enlightenment and self-awareness. I believe the lotus symbolizes the faith, wisdom and eternal hope that lie within us.
To “EMPOWER” is to take charge of your life without apology,” seize the day, become stronger, willful, more intentional and purposeful in your discovery of:
… What brings me joy?
… ..What are my life goals and dreams in retirement?
……..…What is my life purpose? What do I want my legacy to be?
Specializing in behavioral health, wellness and life transitions, allow me to partner with you as your Coach. Drawing on my clinical experience as a therapist, while holding a space of unconditional acceptance and the personal belief that “you know yourself better than anyone and that each of us is resourceful, creative and whole and possesses skills and strengths that haven’t been fully realized.” I like to think of it as, inside each of us there is a “hero” jumping up and down trying to figure out what their life’s purpose or mission is! Allow me to help you to blossom, to feel more EMPOWERED, and to help you find your path to self-discovery, growth and change.
My approach is to help you gain understanding of your current life situation and/or the inner dialogue of self-defeating behavior patterns that are not working for you or getting in your way. Using a variety of coaching skills and techniques in the context of the coaching relationship and a safe space, my goal is for us to work together to help you feel more confident and empowered to take more action, make better decisions, and in doing so, utilize your own resourcefulness, creativity and potential. While we can’t change the past or difficult situations that have happened to us, we can gain clarity by “ naming” what is getting in our way, better understand how these situations cause us to feel stuck and prevent us from living a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
Unlike therapy, coaching is more of a forward-looking process that takes place between a Coach and a client in the space of a conversation. While it draws on aspects of positive psychology, spirituality, neurolinguistics, neuroscience and philosophy, coaching is action-oriented and focused on the client, not the issue. It is a collaborative partnership between the coach and the client that takes place within a series of coaching conversations. The coach is there for support but doesn’t give directions, suggestions or advice. The goal of coaching is to improve the client’s self-awareness and self-acceptance, while the Coach acts as a cheerleader, a sounding board and a truth teller, through the use of strategic questioning, observation, reflection and feedback.
It is my belief that the “coaching space” is where the magic happens!! It is that space where the client will realize new action and move in a new direction.
Below is a conceptual model of the essential ingredients that are needed in the coaching relationship in order for the client to flourish and grow like the lotus flower, thereby feeling empowered. The structure chosen to hold these ingredients can be depicted as someone practicing yoga and sitting in the “full lotus” position, considered the most challenging of all yoga postures. Just as the lotus flower grows in muddy ponds and rises above the water in order to bloom, symbolically, the lotus flower like the lotus position, represents being fully grounded in the earth and pushing towards the heavens.
Yoga is the practice of transforming the body and the mind through various postures and meditation. The word “Yoga” means to connect, to unite to our true self, or it can also mean separation or disentanglement. The thing we are disentangling ourselves from is whatever stops us from feeling free. The ultimate goal of any yoga practice is to attain freedom or liberation and inner peace. Similarly, the goal of coaching is for the client to achieve their goals, see their possibilities, their potential, becoming the best version of them self—all of which can be referred to as EMPOWERMENT.
The yoga mat can also be considered a metaphor for representing the space in which we receive relief from the stress of everyday life and the clear boundaries that exist between the client and the Coach.