A Coaching Model Created by Nicholas Kittis
(Inspirational Thought Leadership and Transformational Life Coach, CYPRUS)
In life the only constant changes… as Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher said, Change is the only constant in life.
The below image shows how humans have evolved over the centuries. How we have changed and how we have adapted.
Give yourself a Chance to Change…
When hearing this word CHANGE, at first it really does not resonate with any of us in our daily lives. However, when we are facing obstacles that are affecting our lives as humans we seek CHANGE.
Years ago, when I was going through some difficult times, a friend told me, “Just remember nothing ever stays the same. This too shall pass.” Her words truly helped me as I had been feeling as if “this was it.” My guess is a lot of people feel this way when they are experiencing trauma — they just assume they will always feel the way they are currently feeling. While we all, on some level, know that change is inevitable, somehow it’s a concept that’s often easy to forget. My friend’s thoughts were not original of course. Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, has been quoted as saying “change is the only constant in life.”
I think many of us have a love-hate relationship with change. I know I do. Certainly, when things are going poorly for us, we can take solace in the fact that, no matter what, things are not going to stay the same. They might get better, or they might get worse, but they are going to be different. It’s important to note that this will happen whether we proactively try to change our situation or not.
Conversely, when life is going great for us, we “want things to stay this way forever.” Let’s keep everything the same, and these happy times will continue indefinitely. Unfortunately, that’s not the way life works. Again, whether we actively try to keep things as they are or not, change is going to happen.
If change is unavoidable, what’s the point of even talking about it? Well, we are all not only affected by the change, we are affected by how we feel about change. Do we embrace it? Fear it? Resist it? Avoid it as much as possible?
Obviously, how we feel about change often depends on the situation, as alluded to above. In our day-to-day lives, however, a healthy attitude toward the idea of change is important if we want to live our lives to the fullest. We all need to follow our hearts and live our lives according to our values. If fear of change is hindering us from doing this, we can work hard to change our way of thinking.
My coaching model is applied in the context of a transitional and transformation process, helping individuals to rediscover themselves, their situations and by using the genuine findings to design an action plan in achieving their goal using change.
The CHANGE Model
Connection: The first step in this process is for you to connect with something that has instigated the need for your need to Change. This may well be identified by yourself or even by someone else who may bring to your attention that you need to do something about a specific topic, issue, circumstance, etc.
The state of being connected: the connection between cause and effect.
Cause: a person or thing that acts, happens, or exists in such a way that some specific thing happens as a result; the producer of an effect: You have been the cause of much anxiety. What was the cause of the accident?
Effect: the state of being operative or functional; operation or execution; accomplishment or fulfillment: to bring a plan into effect.
Highlights: The second step is to put the spotlight on the topic or issue which needs to be addressed, by highlighting it. A procedure we would normally do when we are reading a book and we are highlighting words that stand out to us. By highlighting this area we make ourselves aware of what exactly needs to be looked into without getting caught into a story that has no meaning for us.
Awareness: The third step is for you to become aware of the situation/topic being addressed and the importance it has to you right now. Awareness is the state of being conscious of something. More specifically, is the ability to directly know and perceive, to feel, or to be cognizant of events. Another definition describes it as a state wherein a subject is aware of some information when that information is directly available to bring to bear in the direction of a wide range of behavioral actions. The concept is often synonymous with consciousness and is also understood as being consciousness itself.
Need: The fourth step is of great importance as this is the phase where you have identified and have become familiar with all the above steps and now you need to clarify your goal and what needs to change or be achieved. Clarity here is of utmost importance.
Decide what you want. Your first step is to determine what it is you want to achieve. This can be a big change or a small one, but taking some time to think about what you hope to achieve is an important first step to success. For example, is your goal to be a happier person? To learn to play an instrument? To get good at a sport? To be healthier? All of these are valid goals. It’s up to you to decide what you want.
Goals: The fifth step is defining your terms. Once you have a general sense of what you want, you need to start thinking about what these goals mean to you. One person’s definition of a goal can be very different from another’s.
- For example, if your goal is to be happier, you need to think about what happiness means to you. What does a happy life look like? What types of things will make you happy?
- This applies to less overreaching goals as well. If your goal is to learn to play guitar, what does that mean exactly to you? Will you be satisfied with knowing a few chords so people can sing along with you at parties? Or are you striving to be a classical concert guitarist? These are very different definitions of knowing how to play the guitar.
The end toward which effort is directed: aim
Embrace: The final step is where you embrace your achievement and learnings from a session. Accepting the work you have done in reaching the goal. You should give yourself a hug.