A Coaching Model By Mai Dyab, Coaching Stay at Home Mothers, Life Coach, JORDAN
MORE: A Greater or Additional Amount of Something.
I frequently encounter stay-at-home moms that want MORE. Being one myself, this was exactly how I felt for a long time. For me, taking care of my five wonderful boys was so fulfilling and it made me feel proud as a mother. Yet, I have always felt like something was missing, I was almost ashamed to articulate that or even think about it, fearing that it would make me look unhappy or unsatisfied with being a mom.
It seemed that everyone around me thought it was the greatest job in the world, which made it difficult for me to show that I wanted MORE, but I did! I wanted more meaning, more value, more self-worth, and more connection, and yes, I wanted more financial security.
I was lucky to find my MORE in coaching, let me help you find yours…
M for Meaning:
Finding meaning in life may be one of the greatest searches one has to conduct in his/ her life. Without meaning, nothing seems to be worth doing or even contemplating. Luckily, meaning in life need not have a complex design, a meaningful life does not have to be unique nor grandiose. It simply has to be a life that you enjoy and feel fulfilled living, a life of purpose and value.
In my MORE model, I will start by exploring what is meaningful to you in your life. By using the Lost vs. Found power tool, we will work together to help you find yourself again, redefine your priorities, and reconnect with your core beliefs.
It is important to understand that meaning and value can evolve over the years. As we grow, mature, move, travel, meet new people and take different roles in life, our values and the things that are most meaningful to us may vary or reform.
For example, as a mother myself, I know that life seems to stop the moment you have your baby. You find yourself so invested in your child’s life that it is easy to forget what was once meaningful to you. It becomes clear that things that were full of value to you before are becoming less relevant. In other words, it is only normal for the meaning of things in our life to fluctuate and what you value now may be different from what you valued in the past and what you may value in the future. Therefore, it is helpful to explore and redefine our values from time to time, although, at times when we find ourselves at major crossings in our lives, it often becomes necessary.
O for Outcome, Opportunities, and Obstacles
Once we are clear on what is meaningful and valuable to you, we can move next to exploring your desired Outcome.
What would you want to accomplish?
Make sure you identify a specific goal.
Now that we have a definitive outcome to achieve, we then explore Opportunities.
We try to find potential opportunities that would help you achieve that outcome. If you feel there are none, then what do you need to do to create one?
For instance, in our model of stay-at-home moms, many of these mothers feel like they don’t have enough time, certainly not enough to work towards fulfilling their dreams and aspirations as well as answering for all the demands and obligations that childcare entails, essentially leaving them with no opportunity to accomplish that outcome. In such a case, we can discuss methods of time management so that we can create time for them to lead a life that is more meaningful to them.
We will then move towards discussing what Obstacles may be standing in the way. By handling them one obstacle at a time, we can maneuver around them and resume moving forward in our journey.
As intriguing as it may be, a commonly encountered obstacle that may somehow deter us from achieving our outcome is our very own perspective. Every so often, our underlying beliefs, prior histories, and deep-seated feelings may all be standing in the way… which brings us to the R in this model.
R for Reframe:
Reframing perspective is essential in coaching because it helps us see things differently. Once we have a new empowering perspective, new opportunities would emerge, and along with it, new thoughts and feelings that would catalyze the desired change.
E for Execute:
After we have established meaning and core values, defined outcomes, explored opportunities and obstacles, and reframed perspective, it’s time to execute.
Here we will focus on actual steps that you can actively take and the mechanisms that could bring you closer to your goal. We will set up a realistic period, discuss stages of execution and asset accountability of actions.
MORE Model Is a Useful Tool for People Who Feel Stuck
The MORE model was designed with “stay-at-home moms” in mind, yet it works for all those who feel entangled in their different roles in life, that role that seems to have absorbed most of their time and energy and has left them with no room to think about, let alone, achieve their aspired goals.
The MORE model is a useful tool for people who feel stuck, overwhelmed, and lost. It is to be applied with the belief that leading a meaningful life would grant any individual the greatest satisfaction.