A Coaching Model Created by Meriham Ghazal
(Youth & Career Coach, EGYPT)
Every single thing you do matters, you were created as one of a kind, You were created to make a difference ,You have within you the power to change the World. Andy Andrews
How it all Started…
I recall my early years in adolescence, my father had always shared with me his stories and experiences in life and has always been telling me each time I do something to enjoy it and get the maximum benefit out of what I am doing at the moment, get the best experience or feeling from the present moment & always look at the positive side & into the future while learning something out of that experience.
Though this sounded very supportive & encouraging words they were difficult to apply with the so many thoughts on my mind & the pressure a teenager goes through.
Now when am in my middle age, and with the experiences I have gone through in life, I only realized how deep those words and advises were & how they helped me through the challenging times & the good times I faced in my life. When I explore them in this stage of my life & especially in my studies at ICA and with my peers whom I learned a lot from, it turned out to be a core pillar of my coaching journey & the transformation of my personality, where I have discovered myself in a different way. Being in the present moment is so powerful & helps one to move forward. I still remember those words of my Father….
If I look back at my journey since childhood and now as an adult and a mother of a young adult, I have seen her growth & evolvement through the years to become a teen landing on the discovery journey to adulthood, I compare this evolution to the butterfly life cycle from one stage to another & how its development goes into similar stages from starting as a caterpillar through transitions into a butterfly – where a child develops into similar stages till they transition into a teen or a young adult.
A Caterpillar & Child
Everything a caterpillar is taking to fuel and nourish for a new form is similar to the toddler phase, during the first stage, the “feeding stage,” the caterpillar’s job is to eat and eat and eat similarly to a toddler or a child- It fills itself with nourishment as the food eaten at this time is stored and used later as an adult. That process of nourishing is ultimately feeding the future form.
As the caterpillar grows, it “splits its skin” and sheds its skin 4 or 5 times, similarly to a child continues to grow & learn how to walk & interact by the time the child is 10 years old, he or she has grown very big compared to when was a toddler, just like a caterpillar grows much bigger than it was when it first hatched.
Early Adulthood – Adolescent
At this stage; space and time for internalization happen, caterpillar is fully-grown and stops eating, it becomes a chrysalis, the caterpillar may suspend itself under a branch, hiding in the leaves or bury itself underground, just like an adolescent who also experience a lot of changes, they also may need to go “internal” to hibernate and give their body and mind the space during this changing phase, what is significant about this stage and important for their own emotional and personal transition is that big change happens inside of them and this is called
“The Transformation” or “Metamorphosis in the butterfly life cycle.
This what brought me to the mission to support youth & parents through my coaching model, when they are at this stage of adulthood and need to dispel the doubts and fears and give the strength and courage to begin their quest – Here comes my role as a Coach.
Introduction to EXPLORE – What’s Explore?
This model is based on a holistic and transformative approach through which the coaching conversation can reflect and impact the clients thought processes, feelings, beliefs, emotions, and action plans, aiming at providing Teens, Young adults & their parents the support and partnership to Explore their being, travel through their future aspiration & find their purpose.
In this Model, its aims to support youth in situations that are common to this age group that they could face on a daily basis or are general situations/challenges they face in there in life, for example: – Parent & Teen Relationships – Self Confidence, Courageous & Compassionate –Taking Decisions & actions that serves them better – Understand their own natural talent & put them in use – Become self-accountable and responsible – Set and achieve goals,
Ex – Exploring Self
P – Possibilities
L – Listen
O – Open
R – Realization
E – Empower
Through the coaching conversation and thought-provoking technique, Coach helps the client to explore & define their purpose; This is an important step at the beginning of the coaching journey to explore who the client is & what the client really wants to achieve and that is at the core of the coaching agreement with the client. At this stage, the coach would use powerful questions to dig deeper with the client as well as other tools that can support the process; Some of those questions could be:
- Who are you?
- Who you want to Become?
- What are your values & Beliefs?
- Who is your role model?
- What are your passions?
- What are your goals and aspirations?
- What do you like?
- What do you don’t like?
Example of the tools the coach could use at this stage are:
Wheel of life; this tool would help the client to explore his/her level of satisfaction in various areas in life & in their current situation, the tool will be designed in a way that caters for youth and their common issues, for example, Education & study, Parents Teen Relationship, Partners relationship, Friends relationships…etc. By using this tool, the client can identify what are the 1 or 2 most important things to work on and that would need more attention to go deeper and create the wheel of life that is most desired by the client.
Visualization: Using visualization is a very powerful way to set goals and aspirations, Coach would use visualization exercise during the 1:1 coaching session to help the client has a mental picture of the future they desire or can use Vision Board as a visualization exercise during a group coaching session to help clients set their future goals in a visual fun activity.
At this stage, coach partners with the client to generate options & possibilities to move forward. As a result, the client starts identifying the path forward and outline the plan to get closer to their aspirations with possible steps that the client would like to work on. To help the client in this stage, the coach would rely on powerful questions to validate with the client those possibilities /options. Some questions that can be used in this stage are:
- How do you feel when you look at your list of possibilities?
- What themes or patterns do you notice?
- What are you most excited about?
- What skills & knowledge do you need to achieve your goals?
- How will your strengths help you achieve your goal?
- What structures do you need in place to achieve your goals?
- What are the limitations look like?
- How would you overcome those limitations to move forward?
At this point, Listening is a very essential & crucial aspect of the coaching conversation.
When Listening is in its powerful mode, wonders can happen! It can turn that moment when you are not aware of something and suddenly it grasps your attention, its when you become more clear about details that you may have not noticed or were not clear about and redirect your thinking.
This is when coaching can change a life. To listen well to a client is the most powerful skill of the coach, with listening the coach establishes connection, trust and intimacy, and is at their best present moment, the questions come at the right time, naturally and in connection with the client, then the coach can help the client reach a level of awareness and start on the exploration journey.
Being open to what the clients say & didn’t say is important, its important that Coach refrains from a judgment in the coaching conversation, its the main pillar to building trust & intimacy with the client and there is an honesty that comes with being open.
Coach creates an open and trusting space for the client by applying a combination of friendliness, approachability, honesty, open-mindedness and personal authenticity so that the client is comfortable to open up and share his story. Mindfulness exercise can help in this stage for both Coach & client to be more open. Coach uses direct communication in the coaching conversation to keep the conversation open and transparent, the balance between acting as a support and as a challenger to help the client develops & move forward. Example of questions used are:
- What are you ready to change?
- What are you Not Ready to change yet?
- How important is this really for you?
- Tell me how I can support you here?
- What would you suggest I ask you to move this forward?
- Imagine for a moment that your issue is resolved. How did you get there?
At this stage, the client would have reached a stage of realization and a better self-awareness of who they are, what they aspire to be and what they want to accomplish in this journey. Coach Helps the client at this stage to be working to remove doubts, calm fears and be confident about themselves that they have what they need to be successful. Some questions can be used at this stage to provide them with what they need and help propel them towards their goals, such as;-
- Does this realization scare you or excite you?
- What would need to happen for you to walk away feeling that this was a success?
- If you were the bravest version of yourself today, what would you be doing?
- What one thing could you do today that would take you nearer to your goal?
- What did you learn from this?
- When was the last time you were out of your comfort zone and how did that make you feel?
- Have you ever achieved anything like this before?
- If you were advising someone else on how to achieve this, what would you tell them to do?
Empower (Empower Yourself)
At this stage, Coach would check in to evaluate progress towards the client’s goals. Work with the client towards a solid plan and let client identify actions to execute on the plan – It’s the stage where the client is empowered to make his/her aspirations happen, and its instrumental that they have the right mindset, attitude & behaviour to do that. Questions Coach could ask at this stage;-
- Have you hit your goals?
- What are the next steps for you?
- Are the paths we went down working?
- Are your goals still important?
- What is the first action you can take towards your goal?
- How could you break down the goal into smaller goals?
- What keeps you motivated?
- What do you need to move into action?
- What mindset do you need to keep going?
- How do you feel looking at your plan now?
- What have you learned about yourself?
- How would you like to be accountable? How can I help?
- On a scale of 1 – 10 how confident are you of achieving this goal?”
It’s important that the coach checks on progress with the client, celebrate small wins, acknowledge the client’s progress… Coach partners with the client and revisit the plan as & when the client needs to re-arrange priorities or change the direction along the new journey that begins.
Our energy is in proportion to the resistance it meets. We attempt nothing great But from a sense of difficulties we have to encounter; We persevere in nothing great but from a Pride in overcoming them…