A Coaching Model By Soraya Ho Sing Loy, Life Coach, TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO
In my country of Trinidad and Tobago, the term “lime“ refers to the act of doing nothing, in a very casual environment, while sharing food, drink, and much conversation. Lime is often held at someone’s home and does require a personal invitation. It is more or less a “BYOB” ( bring your bottle ) event.
The Idea of “LIME” as My Coaching Model
Many of you may ask, “what does this term have to do with coaching?“ My simple answer: My coaching journey became my place for “limit“ while the world decided to have a lockdown in 2020. Having no real access to others, I depended on my peer coaches for daily conversations; not only while we sat in on zoom classes and had our peer coaching sessions, but even taking it to have “Friday Funday” were a few of us connected and formed lifelong friendships. The idea of “LIME” as my coaching model was born out of my ability to enjoy the comradeship of everyone I met at school and the ability to have fun coaching.
The LIME coaching model consists of four broad phases:
- Imagine your future self
- Modify your mindset
- Energize yourself with the actions taken
The first thing in any coaching session is the coach’s ability to listen to the client’s story. The coach, through Active Listening–the ability to focus on what the client is saying and is not saying–seeks to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires and to support client self-expression.
1. The coach should be able to: listen without judgment
- avoid getting stuck in the clients’ story
- listen to what is not being said
2. The client’s ability to listen to the coach is vital to the result of the session. Everything depends on the client’s ability to understand what the coach is saying while processing the questions asked is the only way to forge ahead.
- listening to the coach’s question often leads to the “ aha moments“
- a client who is willing to leap will listen to the coach with a sense of trust
3. By listening to their intuition, a client can navigate a safe space for solutions and action
Without listening by both parties there is no coaching session. Some questions around Listen may include;
- What happens when you listen to your intuition?
- What can I do from where I am with what I have?
Stepping into your future self. Most of the time it is the fear of the unknown and our underlying beliefs which cause us to be stuck in the past and makes us anxious about the future. This is where “commitment to cultivating a new habit can begin“. My friend Sonia had some coaching sessions with me around her inability to join the gym and get fit. It had taken her years to realize she needed to take action; she used to say, “I hate exercise and am not a gym person“. Imagining a different self and using James Clear’s encouragement, “To change habits, change how you identify yourself “(Atomic Habits, by James Clear), she and I worked toward a new image. She started saying “I like to exercise and I am a gym person“. Within days she join the gym and realized how much she enjoyed it. Months later, she has developed a daily habit with the implementation of the gym life which even led her to meet the love of her life (coaching with Soraya).Implementation of words such as,“ I get to…, instead of “ I have to…“. We do not have to be perfect at implementing an idea or habit. We just need to start from where we are. Some questions to be asked may look like;
- What does your future self look like?
- What has been holding you back from stepping into your imagined self?
M: Modify Your Mindset
Can I grow? Yes! Yes, you can! “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change“(Wayne Dyer). So often we blame others for our misfortune, and we tend to be stuck in victim mode. We cannot expect someone to change for our happiness. We need to change internally. The only thing we can control is ourselves. Take that chance today and start changing your mindset. We live in a friendly universe, and you were born to win. Some questions to be asked here;
- What is something you can commit to changing your mindset?
- What is important to you?
E: Energize Yourself
After each coaching session, the client should be able to shift from significance to lightness. The act of enthusing involves energizing the movement. Energizing is about supporting, motivating and enthusing both ourselves and others”(ICA learn why your enthusiasm is required to coach 2014/10/23). When a coach notices the shift in a client’s perspective, it is important to acknowledge it. Statements can excite the client, like; “I notice a smile and lightness in your voice“; “It sounds like you have made a choice which you are happy with“; “I would like to acknowledge you for the hard work done.” By giving the client some praise, uplifts and energizes them. It also shows that you were present during the session. Be the energy you want to attract. Some questions to be asked here ;
- What can you do now that you are energized and full of positive thinking?
- What can you do to keep this flow of energy in your daily life?
LIME Is a Safe Space to Come Together in Harmony
When we Trinidadians LIME, it is a safe space for us to come together in harmony. There is no judgment, no fixing of anyone, no negativity, and it is a safe space to tell stories and just have fun. I have adopted this approach to my coaching, and I invite you to do the same.