The “A, B, C’s” are all the things that make the client’s current situation what it is, and also allow us to discover the tools and gifts to work with in order to move forward. It’s also an opportunity to find clues into what is working/not working currently, and what the client wants for the future. By asking some questions about the past, we are also able to find places where underlying beliefs exist that don’t fit their current or future position. This is a great time to take note of these things and be able to work with them later in the process.
During the process of coaching, the rest of these elements may happen simultaneously or in varying order, so they are to be focused on when appropriate.
Researching all that has made up the client’s path so far and evaluating it by putting it to the test. Some beliefs, values, and actions will be let go (or burned) in the process of finding what’s right for the client.
R – Realign
(transitive verb) – to change the position or direction of (something) slightly usually in relation to something else.
Realignment is about seeing where life values and beliefs are out of alignment with the actions taken on a daily basis, and to get them aligned. This area is important to recognize because, when we are not acting in alignment with the things that are most important to us, we are going to experience displeasure or animosity. Often times, people don’t realize the reasons behind their unhappiness in certain areas of their life is because they are out of alignment with their values and beliefs. What’s important to note here, is that an in-depth look at the values and beliefs must happen first, in order to make 100% sure that those values and beliefs are truly theirs, and ones that they feel good about. The coach should make sure they are not values and beliefs that were passed onto the client by their upbringing or society, and that the client no longer aligns or agrees with. In order to do this effectively, we need to get in touch with the client’s inner source/self using intuition.
I – Inner Source/Self
The inner source or inner self can be described as many things, and it’s important to know how your client refers to this being in order to understand how they see things. This is where we can test out what feels right as the client’s truth.
Getting the client in touch with this side of themselves is a powerful tool, because there are many opportunities here to break free of limiting thoughts and help them gain more self confidence. This area involves feeling, sensing, intuition, and observation – all captured and developed through mindfulness, meditation, journaling, or energy sessions. This stage is important in identifying the client’s inner truth so that when moving into the future, they are certain of what is guiding them is right for them.
Getting in touch with the inner self/source can be honed by using the senses in a new way having the client:
- FEEL what is right in their body. Check the feelings inside. Is there tension, tightness, or discomfort? Is there a feeling of lightness, happiness, free flow, or that it “just makes sense”?
- LISTEN to the messages coming through. These are the internal messages that show up as intuition or sometimes more obvious messages that almost seem like someone is telling you something. Notice what is coming up inside the client and what those messages might be.
- SEE the signs that are being sent. These are external messages that may come many forms, like seeing a commercial for something that's been on their mind, or a stranger who makes a comment that raises something up inside. It may even be a book that seems to fall off the shelf, or a message in a song.
- SPEAK up for what is desired and the universe will answer. This is the area where the client should say what they intend to have, be, and achieve. When they do this, they’re putting out positive energy for the universe to support. Whatever their faith is geared towards should determine how to do this, or what form the intentions are stated (ie. prayer, inspiration board, mantra, etc) but the concept is the same across the board.
While going through the process, and utilizing these new senses, it’s important to keep track of how they are going, so the client can refine their intuitive abilities. This can be done using a journal or checking in during sessions; whatever works for the client. It’s also important to notice the ways in which one feels either a sense of struggle, or feels a clarity and flow. These two opposing feelings, as well as the results of decisions made will be the key to gaining a pathway to the authentic truth inside the client. It may be helpful to gain evidence to support both sides, so that the client can trust their intuition more and more. This can be done by taking note along the way, or to ask questions of the client’s past experiences with their intuition or “feelings” during certain events and what were the outcomes.
O – Old Paradigm
The release of the old paradigm can be challenging, as well as an ongoing action; but it’s essential in moving forward.
A set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them, especially in an intellectual discipline.
The client should be able to break free of the old paradigm, and move into a new way of living if they are truly ready to transform. I like to reinforce that it isn’t a bad thing to let go of the way things were done in the past, or to acknowledge actions from the past that the client wants to move past. Instead, I like to acknowledge the accomplishments, lessons learned, achievements, and growth. So, while we are going through the process of letting go of the old paradigm, we can honor it, see how it served them, and be thankful for the moments that have gotten them to this place in time.
The way we’ll release the old paradigm is to try things on, like we’re in a dressing room, and use the senses (mentioned above) to see what fits or not. From there we’ll have the client take things off that don’t fit and they can imagine donating or burning the unwanted pieces, as well as imagine purchasing the things that really work for them. It’s not only about letting go, because if the client likes certain aspects, those should be brought into the new way of living as well. This part of the process is about reevaluating what used to be, and making sure it works for them moving forward.
If there is healing that needs to occur while letting go of the old paradigm, then special energy healing sessions can take place to focus on the issue (as long as it’s something within the right conditions). Everything is made of energy in this world and we can tap into that power; so whether it’s in accessing the energy of higher beings, or just being in the space of old energy and releasing it – this can be a very important part of moving forward. The conditions need to be right, and this may only be applicable to those clients who choose to utilize it.
R – Realizing Purpose and Path
This is where the client can acknowledge and celebrate all of the hard work and successes by an inner sense of happiness and peace. Things flow and life becomes less of a struggle.
While going through the transformational coaching process, we will be able to hone in on the authentic pieces of what makes the client unique. This is based on their “truth”, which ties together their beliefs, values, special talents and gifts, passions, abilities, actions, attitude, and lastly, their goals, dreams, and desires for the future. Since finding one’s true purpose in the world can depend on so many factors and timing, this will be an ongoing practice for the client. If we don’t achieve this during our sessions, then it is important for the client to have the tools to continue the search in finding their purpose and path. Those tools involve using the senses from above to determine what feels right for them along the way along with their intuition and strength.
By the time the warrior comes to the end of the full work, they should have a clear sense of their truth and how to utilize it in moving forward. The way to determine this is in how they feel inside and if there is a sense of “knowing” who they are now or feeling energized, excited, and happy. They will also have the tools, developed throughout the sessions, to support them in their future endeavors (ie. visualizations, vision boards, journaling, wheel of life and values mapped out, and various structures that support their goals and way of being).
The WARRIOR can soar like a phoenix now because they have a strong sense of self, and confidence in their internal support system..their truth. The tools are always within the WARRIOR; it’s just a matter of stripping away the parts that aren’t supporting them and realigning them with the love and strength to trust their inner source!
Business Logo, with my hand-drawn phoenix – based on this model and transformational process
All images were drawn or created by Jennifer Querques