A Coaching Model Created by Halina Matsarskaya
(Leadership Presence Coach, UNITED STATES)
Halcyon Presence: Find your confidence in its essence…
Halcyon Presence creates space for aspiring leaders to find and sustain their unique, essential confidence and be present with it whenever the moment calls for a free flow of energy and bold creativity in both selves and allies.
Halcyon is a mythical bird which, according to the ancient legends, would nest at sea during the time of the winter solstice to charm the waves and the storm into calm.
Halcyon also means peaceful, tranquil, serene. Halcyon days allude to the times of success, prosperity, and happiness.
You and your story.
A passionate leader, a self-driven entrepreneur, an expert in your field, and a star performer, you strive for an eternal personal and professional growth through learning and improvement, grit and perseverance. You are bold, creative, and full of new ideas. Your genuine intent is to create true value for the world, to serve your clients with all your heart, inspire your allies to follow you, and bring your dreams to life.
It is true. This is who you are. And you know it for you are a highly intuitive and self-aware individual.
Yet, recently, the disturbing thoughts of whether those are even your goals you are sweating for have been paying a visit more often because all enthusiasm evaporated a month after you landed that “dream job”, while pure joy had never existed in the first place… Though you don’t have time to worry about it. For now, overwhelmed, hardly breathing, in a desperate attempt to prove your worthiness, you are on a slippery slope from an over-achiever to a procrastinator lost in priorities, in your endless to-do lists, while pleasing people left and right and collecting their likes for a quick fix of dopamine and boost of confidence you crave so much.
For you – knowledge is power. Just look at all your diplomas and certificates! Yet, in the era of informational overload, the more information you consume living in a constant student-mode, the less actual, entrepreneurial action is happening. Besides, you set the bar so high of how everything you do should be presented to the world that you are terrified of even looking at that idealistic image of yourself.
The presentations are your thing (you know your stuff, don’t you?) Let’s just pray those investors won’t put you on the spot with their pesky questions. By the way, what’s happened to that creative idea you’ve been cherishing for a while? Ah, you’ll share it at yet another weekly meeting after rehearsing your speech at least ten more times, or during the happy hour with a glass of wine (better two). Actually, just after you deal with that annoying teammate (with all that self-management, you can certainly tolerate his obnoxious behaviour for a bit longer with a wry grin on your face).
For now, though, keep a straight face pretending you agree with what these smart C-level folks are talking about even though you have zero understanding what’s all that about (often because it is pure nonsense, but you already know it). At no time can your own smartness be challenged. Save your energy. You’ll need it later to play the role of a confident leader in front of your team assertively pushing the proper agenda. And then, get sincerely perplexed by how people in your team are either not capable of great ideas, indifferent, get defensive, or keep silent when the most you need is their creativity, ideas, and loyalty.
Is this insecure and indecisive chameleon also you? Then, who is the real you? Why all this hypocrisy? Why staying low and playing safe? Why can’t you bravely act on your true intent we talked about at the beginning? Do you even remember your intent? Often, when the time calls for courage and a bold authentic vision–your true intent is swept away by an uncontrollable urge to preserve the identity you meticulously crafted for so many years. This is how fear ticks: do anything you could, just don’t let them destroy your fake confidence with their judgement and opinions.
Truth is, it is almost physically painful to stay cool under the fire of emotional chaos. Besides, humans are hard-wired to respond to others’ emotions, so most of the times our strings do get pulled. In fact, for some of us, particularly empathetic and highly sensitive, even one unfriendly stranger breaking into our “comfort zone” is like a tornado that knocks down not only self-confidence but the whole sense of self. And we haven’t even touched on life’s crises… Cringing inside, we would do anything to get our “peace” back.
Long story short, the situations may vary every time, but the underlying reason is the same: when the courage to be strong, creative, resourceful is called upon, no one is present to lead the moment. You forgot who you are and your core values; besides, you are busy in your head, concocting a new story to believe or fighting your own thoughts and fears. So, it’s easier to blame the circumstances and google for yet another how-to blog.
Hence, let’s just state it out loud: you are confident only when, in impeccable, stellar-designer attire, you orchestrate your own performance according to a meticulously planned and rigorously rehearsed scenario.
What an effort! All this preparation only to avoid facing the moment?
Yet, you firmly know that deep inside lives this emotionally mature, fully conscious, self-confident, though warm and cheerful, persona. Why wouldn’t she show up on cue, when you need her most?
Essential confidence resides within you.
Perhaps, this is the time to ask yourself: Do you lead your life or do circumstances lead you? Is it up to someone else whether you can be yourself or not? What about the other 90% of the time, when, caught by the naked uncertainty, you realize you left your script at home?
Those are the moments when you need the courage to be fully present with what is, dealing with the unknown of life and people’s opinions about you, experimenting with the variety of choices, exploring and playing, creating and co-creating with others, accepting, and simply being. Courage to be willing to experience life and all its verges and dimensions to the full extent, be as bold as you want to be, do what you really want to do, and say what needs to be said in the most authentic, powerful, your way (yet mindfully, with the respect and compassion toward others).
Imagine, there is no need to pretend and perform. You can fully be, while the powerful confidence in self, in your choice, in relationships, and in life is having your back. This powerful presence crystallizes your true intent, so you can act on it in your unique authentic way while being in harmony and fully mindful of self, others, and all the turmoil of the larger context we function in. Presence helps you clearly see both the hurdles and the opportunities life lays in front of you and make the best possible choice.
The essential confidence has always been there, in you. In fact, you were best friends back in childhood. You simply forgot. Still, it is there buried under learned patterns, underlying beliefs, and imposed societal norms, waiting to be let out through your authenticity and full presence.
Each of us is our own unique universe. Hence, the approach to your essential confidence has to be uniquely crafted by you and not prescribed by the artificial standards which are quite controversial around the globe. No advice or how-to lessons will ever work here, because only you know yourself, and you keep the key to the room where your authentic confidence is locked.
Halcyon Presence: the outlet to your essential confidence.
Confidence is tangible. Confidence is either fully present or it’s not there at all. You know instantly when it’s awakened in you. You also feel on the energy level when the other is present and confident. We say people who radiate presence fill the room, so it’s hard to not notice them. Presence opens doors to your true self and your intrinsic power. You feel safe in your vulnerability, yet curious, resourceful, and fully responsive, no matter what is going on out there. The power of presence is in that it is contagious: it invites others to join freely and embrace their own exposure and unlimited resourcefulness.
Halcyon Presence becomes your reliable partner and first safe space to open up and step into your own presence and authentic confidence, experiment with the present moment, act boldly, and unleash your full potential. Together, during each coaching session, we co-create calm, serene presence – the cradle for your confidence.
Halcyon Presence Process:
We start each session by inviting the presence and then immersing our bodies and minds in it. We hold the presence during the entire session to experience space together. We stay open and creative with uncertainty and possibility.
Know your core values, get clear vision –>>Declutter your space and let the energy flow freely –>> Shine with confidence and joy
The focus is on who you are: your unique traits, strengths, and values. This is your core, your foundation. Your back-end support. You find your North Star – your Purpose. After finding this out, you design a unique life strategy and set an intention to focus on what is important most. You also create an intent to live your purpose and draw on your authentic traits every day, live from your values, so nothing can shake your confidence foundation. Your vital focus is on what’s most important – You and Your Value.
Harmonious living and high productivity as well as the ability to find presence and confidence depend on our ability to find the unique intrinsic balance for both body and mind – the FLOW. We release our flow through focus, centring, and restoration. Here, we shape natural support from within through mindfulness and somatic awareness, moment by moment. So, when life throws lemons at you, your resilience sends them right back. We learn to experience and harness our emotions and sensations in the “theatre” or observer mode. When we go with our infinite powerful energy flow, we communicate the intent of the heart to the world in the most confident, authentic way.
On our way to essential confidence, we declutter our mental and physical space from underlying beliefs, patterns, identity masks, and habits that no longer serve us, and remove other energy flow blockers.
Confidence in Essence:
Born out of our very core and sustained by the infinite energy flow, our confidence organically emerges through our presence.
There is no doubt that expertise and societal power matter when it comes to confidence. It’s true that certain standards or behaviours do exist and are expected from leaders. Yet, often those behavioural patterns are not us, hence, we will feel far-off and look fake. The question is, how do we live in congruence with ourselves not trying to match the expectations?
The easiest and the hardest thing is to remain true to who you are and to embrace and manage natural flows in your body and mind. At the same time, it’s the only way to project true confidence. Nothing compares to the true authentic confidence that resides in each of us and just waits to be let out. Once you awake it – own it.
Halcyon Presence coaching process helps you fully experience the whole power of your essential confidence, let go of imaginable safety and fake identity that needs protection, become open and creative, realize confidence is at hand right now, and not one day in the future when ____(fill in the blank with your choice). You’ll find your very own way to your very own confidence. The more often you are present, the better is your response to life challenges.
Aware of your purpose, you become more confident in your personal and professional choices. Restored and reenergized, you begin fully experience every moment. With this new awareness, not only you are confident to clearly see the situation and act upon your truth in your most authentic way, but you also create space for the truth from others free from defence or judgment. Subconsciously we are drawn to those who are present: their presence gives us permission to relax, be who we are, open up. And vice versa, we do withdraw from those unavailable to us.
You will design a customized lifelong approach for bringing your confidence to present whenever the situation demands, and invite others into this space, so they could open up to their own creativity and resourcefulness and confidently share this with the world.
The value we co-create together when we are fully present and express ourselves in the most authentic, confident way is priceless. Infinite happiness and joy that one authentic person lives through are spread around families, friends, colleagues, entire communities, and the rest of humanity.