Coaching Model: GREATFUL

A Coaching Model Created by Gabrielle Gaillard
(Health/Pain Management Coach, UNITED STATES)

My approach to coaching is the GREATFUL model.  I realize that is in an unusual spelling for the word grateful, but it is my way to start rewriting the way we spell and look at this word.   I believe each one of us is filled with greatness.  By discovering our own greatness and using it the way we truly want to, we can bring joy to ourselves and others.  It is my honor as a coach to serve and support you on whatever journey you decided to take.

The spelling of grateful was firstborn in a bit of shame.  Spelling and grammar in the past have been a vexing issue for me when I write.   It was a going-away party for my director.   I wrote a sign that said come to this party to show this person how GREATFUL (bold and all capitalizations) we were to her. I still do not understand why spell check did not catch it since as I am typing this, I must do several things to stop spell correct every time from changing my word. I put these lovely colorful eye-catching signs up all over the school.  I was approached by another teacher and “schooled” in how horrible my spelling was and could not believe a teacher had written it.    I just looked at them and said hey she is a pretty great person and she had never “grated” on my nerves.  I think it should be spelled the way I spelled it.  I proceeded to explain why the world was spelling the word wrong. In the future, if I make any more signs, I would make sure that the word would be spelled correctly. Over the years that situation has brought up many feelings until I decided with my heart that I was meant to spell it that way.   Now 10 years later I LOVE my word and the spelling of it.  I enjoy talking with others about the new spelling and the wonders that sometimes changing our perspective on an error.  Mistakes, accidents or difficulties can be changed into a learning experience, to propel you forward. Please enjoy what is now my reality as a health and pain management and life coach on my philosophy to coaching.  My passion is to help people that have chronic health issues or pain to live beyond what can be a very limiting situation.

G-Gratitude

Looking inside and finding gratitude in our everyday life.   Living with limiting health issues whether it is physically, mentally or spiritually, can be all-consuming. If you have been living with limitations, you may find this first step to be a big leap.  Yet it is one that must be taken. This is not a time for comparison. If you look at this in a shaming way it can keep you stuck.    There may have been times when we have heard,” What do you have to cry over you have it better than- so-and-so?”This can be very shaming and can set you up to negate or cover our issues.  It may be true that your situation could be worse, but I challenge you not to go down that road.  Looking at what you do have without comparing can be so much more empowering.   I would like to take a moment to mention one of my favorite authors Brene’ Brown. She is one of the authorities on shame and this is what she wrote in her book Daring Greatly. (1) She wrote that the difference between shame and guilt. Shame means you are wrong; guilt means you did something wrong. When others try to tell us not to feel the pain we are in, that we could have it worse, could set up a vicious shame cycle that can keep us stagnant.  I propose looking at health issues in a way of not letting it overwhelm our lives or our gratitude.  The gratitude I am talking about can only come from within. Looking into yourself and finding what and where you are grateful.  This is a way of looking with loving eyes.  Finding that one thing or as many as you can think of about yourself.  Asking this question, “ what am I doing or have done that takes me to feel productive” some may even ask “What am I doing right” ( even if it that you brushed your teeth ) This question has helped me dig out of some dark places.

R-Respecting

Ourselves in where we are at this moment. Some days are better than others.  This is a saying I heard a long time ago that I use from time to time.  I was asked, “are you comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides?” If you look at what everyone else has done or is doing with the attitude that they are in some way better than you it can take you into the mud.  We never know really KNOW what another is going through what someone is going through.  Judging yourself and comparing it to others will stymie forward movement.  We all need a starting point. Really taking a good look at ourselves who we are.  Now is the time to look at the good, bad and the ugly.  Looking, not dwelling, on our past actions with honesty and compassion will help find a beginning. Then observing where we are right now.  Recognizing what we do have and what are our accomplishments are then building on that.  Honoring our past, as steppingstones, having self-compassion on where we have been. Knowing where and who you are in the moment is a gift to yourself and all those in your life.   The time machine to my knowledge has not been invented, you can never be who or what you were exactly. We take all our experiences and begin to design the life we want. 

E-Effort

It is always required to enjoy one’s life. Even the term “going with the flow” takes effort. To go with the flow, we must let go of our perceptions, our expectations. The definition of the word effort according to the Oxford English Dictionary is a vigorous or determined attempt ₍₂₎ At first all your effort may be on changing concepts of who you are. Here is where we decide if you are willing to put in the effort.  It does not have to be hard.  Once you decide what is best for you.  You decide how you want to get there, and we begin the journey with the first step.   We work together to define your goals and how and what you will have and will need to achieve them. Deciding that you are worth the effort.

A-Acceptance

Of where you are both bad and the good.  Some will only look in all the things they have done wrong in the past, this can paralyze progress.  Some with only look at what they can do right without learning from mistakes.  True progress accepts all those things we have done right and looks at what could potentially block us going forward.  By accepting both sides of ourselves do we make true long-lasting progress.

T-Tricks

Of the on how to get over or through whatever has you not obtaining your goal. Learning tricks, most of us like to know the trick on how to do something. Learning what YOU need to do when your progress slows or stops.  I capitalize for a reason.  We all hear how others have done things, we can look at those things and maybe then try them.  Or use other thoughts as a jumping-off place to create our own tricks. The biggest part of this is what is going to work best for you.  If you do not believe that it will work, then more than likely you are right.

F-FUN

In life is important to your heart and soul.  Fun in a coaching relationship can be what you want it to be. Coaching can be a serious and life-changing experience and it does not have to be grueling and toilsome. It is an experience that can leave you thoughtful and invigorated finding the fun in everyday life. 

U-Unique

Is what we all are.  My coaching philosophy is each one of us is unique.  In massage school, I learned that all the anatomy books are really only 10% of the population.  Something as simple as the way you were positioned in the womb, can change our physical structure.  Something someone said when we’re very young can change how we feel about ourselves.  We will work together finding and celebrating what your strengths are.  We will find ways to make those strengths work for you to achieve your goals. Here we find that GREATNESS within. Many have things they want to change about themselves or their lives.  Change is important we grow with change.  One can learn to access your unique greatness and find those things that sustain us when things do not go well.  What are the strengths that can support you in your progress?

L-Laughter

Love is the fuel of getting the most out of life. We all have lives filled with ups and downs.  I am not talking about ignoring or covering up the pain with laughter.  It is finding the humor even when you are not sure you can, will lighten your mental and physical load.   Laughter with love is that belly laugh or that little giggle at yourself or your actions in the middle of a very bad day.  Laughter can cross-cultural and language barriers.  There have been so many studies on laughter if you type in google search-“the science of laughter” over 68,000,000 hits will show up.

I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my model and welcome any comments.  Every year when I was teaching, I would start the first day with 2 poems and this was one of them that I hope to inspire in all my coaching clients.   I hope you enjoy and are inspired as I am and continue to be.  It was originally written by Marianne Williamson in her book A Return to Lovel and then later read and made famous by Nelson Mandella in a speech he made.

Our Deepest Fear

It is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful

Beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness

That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be Brilliant,

Gorgeous, Talented and Fabulous?    

Who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

So that other people won’t feel insecure

Around you

We were born to make manifest

The glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us:

It is in everyone.

As we let our own light shine,

We unconsciously give other people permission

To do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear

Our presence automatically liberated others.

Marianne Williamson₍₃₎

Citations:

Daring Greatly, Brene’ Brown, Audio Book release date June 26, 2018, Chapter 3 (3:44).

Oxford Dictionary of English Application, 2008-2019 Mobisystem.

A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”(1992).