A Coaching Model By Geni Cobb, Life Coach, UNITED STATES
DARE TO EXIST (DTE) – How to Help Teens and Young Adults Educational Transitions
A coaching model intended for teens and young adults who are going through educational transitions. How is it that we as a human society exist? We live day in and day out breathing. We are alive, going to school and passing numerous classes we may not even use in the future, working long hours in areas that possibly do not fulfill us, taking care of others because it may be our moral obligation, doing insignificant things just to pass the time, making choices that can hurt us in the long run, and creating thoughts in our heads that truly do not even exist. These are just a few examples of what all human beings go through daily.
Now imagine our teens and young adults who have the pressure of social media, image, making college and career choices and other life choices, transitions from child to teen to adult in a blink of an eye, etc. These young humans many times cease to exist and get hovered over by a cloud that keeps them in the shadows just following the status quo and living under the exitance of what “should be”.
It’s no wonder that as adults many of us have followed the same paths and seem burned out, bored, disengaged, divorced, bitter, angry, disillusioned, tired, and the list can go on and on …. Because very few of us are really and truly existing in the present and dare to exist.
DARE TO EXIST (DTE) Coaching Model
My coaching model DARE TO EXIST (DTE) is much more than a model. It is a way of thought integrated into life. This model is intended for teens and young adults so that they truly learn to exist in this lifetime. We only have one shot and if they can truly be in their most authentic self to thrive and truly exist, their thought process will be aligned with carrying their true reason to exist and be alive within themselves.
For our teens and young adults to truly be alive and exist and make thoughtful and powerful connections and choices that align with their core they need to transition into the goals they set out for themselves or DARE TO EXIST.
- Do they want to have the power to make wise decisions?
- Do they want to be truly authentic and not follow the crowds?
- Do they want to have a defined self-identity and not be in the shadows of what society defines “self-identity” to be?
- Do they want to be rid of any fear that may be holding them back from their greatest potential?
- Do they want to be confined to the traditional patterns that do not create a sense of uniqueness?
Existing is having the power to be true to oneself and having the confidence to follow the paths that leads to anyone’s true potential.
DARE TO EXIST Way of Life Through Coaching
DARE TO EXIST has three steps that are crucial to the transition of existing or living your best life most daringly and authentically. Determination, Transition, and Evolving are the steps to ensure the transition needed to exist.
The First Step In DTE: Determination
The client has thought and is determined to make a change(s) in his/her life. The determination to change has to be present for the client to take action and transition into their existence goals. The client is trying to get from point A to point B but does not know how to get there.
Through the client’s determination to change, the coach should consider the following to coach the client to the transition stage.
The client must be determined to change and know what he/she wants to transition to.
The coach must be aware of determination and clear on what change (s) the client wants for positive outcomes on transition.
The client must have a purpose as to why he/she wants to make the transition.
The coach must recognize the client’s purpose
The client must have a timeline of when the change should happen
The coach should acknowledge the client’s timeline.
Although the client must know what change they want to make, the purpose of the change, and then when they want to change, this part of coaching explores the value, worth, and benefit of the change. It is important for the client to understand their ethics because it will allow the client to be engaged to explore the WHY and HOW more extensively and evolve into point B or his / her goal for existence. The transition and evolving stage will have more meaning to the client.
Integral Coaching Factors in the Determination Stage
Acknowledgment allows the coach to recognize the determination of the client and the wanting of the change the client wants to make. Allows the client not to feel judged about the change the client wants to make.
Active Listening allows the client to feel heard by the coach.
Evoking Awareness allows for the client to explore their values, worth, benefits of change invoking an internal exploration of the importance of the client’s thought(s).
Example of a Client That the DTE Model Can Be Used On
What: I want to get my Master’s degree.
Purpose: I want to empower myself and make long-lasting changes in my company.
When: Within the next year
The Second Step In DTE is Transition
The client is determined to change, but the client may not know or see the importance or significance of the need to change to exist. They just know they need to do it. For a client to change, the client has to be aware of the change they want to make and be determined to make the change as well. Transition proposes the shift in the client to understand the importance of making the change and executing it as well. Coaching the client will allow for an awareness shift needed to be their change agent and determine how the client will get to the transition goal.
The client must know why he/she wants to make the transition. Without this awareness, the client will continue not to execute change, be stuck in the same patterns of “not transitioning” and not dare to exist.
The coach must understand why the client wants to make the change and assist the client to get to their “why”.
The client will explore how to get to point B. The client needs to create avenues that will allow him/her to get to their goal(s) for the importance of their existence. The exploration consists of the “daring” to try something new to achieve an outcome. Without trying new ideas, the client will stay stuck in their pattern and not change and say stagnant. Clients are daring to exist and be and therefore the client must seek their ways to achieve change.
The coach will assist the client in exploring steps, changes, alterations the client wants to create for themselves.
Integral Coaching Factors in the Transition Stage
Powerful Questioning the coach will ask the client questions to assist the client in his/her self-awareness.
Active Listening allows the client to continue to be heard by the coach while creating mind shifts and steps for change.
Creating Awareness allows for the client to explore their “why’ and the steps, changes, and alterations the client needs to make to create change for themselves. It also creates awareness for clients to discover their “How”. How will a client get to point B and what steps will the client make to get to their existence/goal.
The Third Step Is Evolving
The client follows his or her self-awareness and invokes the changes to reach their goal(s). They are Daring to exist. They have taken the step(s) needed to reach their goal(s) and allowed themselves to evolve and transform into the person they want to be. The client has changed to be their better self and has established themselves to live life to their fullest potential.
The client will explore the process of continuing to evolve from the original goal and work on maintaining this new awakeness, awareness, and behavior within their identity of self and work on acknowledging their existence and the power of daring to exist. The goal is for a client to coach through their self-identity within their existence and for them to maintain this mental mind shift of knowing who they are within the shift of their goal and owning it. The WHO is a reflection of the coaching that encompassed the determination and transitional stages. It maintains the control the client would like to have moving forward.
Integral Coaching Factors in the Transition Stage
Powerful Questioning: The coach will continue to ask the client questions to assist the client in his/her self-awareness of his/her maintenance of evolvement.
Cultivating Learning and Growth supports the client with their new awareness and invites the client to explore the maintenance of their goal about their evolving stage.
Monitoring Progress allows the coach to monitor the client once the client has transitioned into their evolved stage. The client should be supported in this new stage of daring to exist.
Daring to exist can be vulnerable, scary, and intimidating. Fear can be a huge roadblock, however, if a client chooses to dare themselves and create goals and targets to what they think is impossible, through coaching, the sky’s the limit of what a client can do. We all must DARE TO EXIST!