A Coaching Model Created by Doina Mihaela Binig
(Transformational Coach, ROMANIA)
You’ve got to be one that, wherever you are, like a flower, you’ve got to blossom where you are planted. You cannot eliminate darkness. The only way to get rid of darkness is light and to be light yourself- Cory Booker
- What would you like to reach until the end of the session?
- How can the coaching session best support you today?
- How will you know that you reached your goal?
- How can you measure success?
- Who do you want to be? What is the target or ‘perfect situation”
- What do you want to be done in a situation where everything is perfect?
- What is the ideal for you?
- How will you feel when the target is achieved?
Nobody knows better than the client does what the best is for him. The coach could help the client using coaching skills like power listening, powerful questions, changing perspectives.. to improve his way of thinking; this means helping the client think in a more efficient way rather than tell him what to do.
The client might have a problem or even think that he/she is the problem… The best is to focus on the solution, on the goal to be reached, on the desired situation, on the ideal himself/herself.
Focusing on solutions is a step toward creating new mental maps, which means focusing on the way ahead.
A new, better way of thinking makes everybody feels better and determines new habits with a direct influence on results.
So, if the client wants to get good results in achieving something or becoming someone, he has to maximize his inner potential. The first step in improving the way of thinking, be aware of own aspirations.
Listen for the current situation
- What is the obstacle that prevents you from achieving the target?
- What is your belief that is fueling your thinking and actions?
- How do you feel about your beliefs? Where did it come from?
- Can you explain your current situation?
- What has caused it?
- How do you feel about it?
- What are the reasons because of which you have got into this situation or are feeling this way?
Almost everyone has the tendency to focus on the problem, on the obstacles that block the goal, on the issue itself. In coaching the details of the current situation, the problems might be interesting to discuss but focusing on solutions is more useful… If we look into the problem too much, the client continues to do so and empowers the brain paths associated with it…
And yes.. we coach the client and not the problem and we don’t give the solutions.
When we listen for the current situation, we listen assuming that a client is completely a knowledgeable person and deep inside him there is a potential for transformation, for growing, for getting the most adapted solutions for himself.
The coach is the help, the sounding board in the way the client improves his thinking process…and as mentioned before, better thinking means more positive feelings, new habits and.. obtaining results.
From this perspective, other questions might be very useful in this stage:
- How can I best help you think this through?
- Do you know what would you like to do/ feel/ be and explore this together with me?
Options for Self-Development, learning
- What would you like to do in order to change the way you think?
- Would you like to create a plan for achieving your target?
- What is the new habit that you can include to achieve your target?
- What would you like to do differently, compared to before so that you can achieve your target?
- What new possibilities do you see now, that were not there before, and that will empower you to achieve your target?
- What kind of support will you need that will help you stay on track?
- What kind milestones and checks would you will like to include in your plan to ensure that you are on track to achieve your target
- What do you want to do?
- What are the key things you need to do?
- What possible options/ solutions do you see?
- Which one seems the most effective /realistic/ appealing to you?
- Who do you want to be in the situation?
- How do you need to think, feel, act differently?
- What would you advise to a friend in a similar situation?
- What can you do to feel better?
- What do you need to do to be in balance?
- How can you take good care of yourself in this situation?
The coach should help the client to think about different ways to get where he wants to be. During this phase, they should examine together old, limiting beliefs that have held the client back in the past. A keyword here is “awareness” The client should start to be aware of the obstacles brought by his own way of thinking, his behavior and start working to eliminate them in order to reach his full potential.
At this moment, the client starts to make new connections, to develop new ways of thinking. The proper questions could inspire the client into action, generates commitment.
Will to implement new habits, changes
- What will your first step be? When?
- What else will you do? When?
- What can you do today/ the next week/ until our next session?
- What resources do you have and what else do you need?
- What structures will you put in place?
- What will your new thoughts/ behavior look like?
- What choices do you need to make?
- What/who do you need to say no to? Why? What might get in the way? What might hold you back?
- How committed do you feel?
- How would you rate it on a scale from 1-10?
- What is missing? What do you need more of? What would 100% commitment look like?
- What can you do to avoid your commitment to drop?
- What are your main concerns?
- How can you make yourself accountable?
- How can you support yourself and who else can you get support from?
- How can I best support you after the session?
The coach should test the client whether or not the goal seems achievable and he is really committed to it.
A key aspect is an alignment with the future goal. Once the client sees very clearly the Future self, he will accept the challenges and find the courage to get there.
Energy is given to the new habits, Evaluation
- How do you feel about your progress?
- Do you feel that you are going back to your old habits and ways of thinking once in a while?
- What do you do to get back on track?
- What can you do to keep your level of commitment?
- How committed are you to the new habit?
- Are your support systems working effectively? If no, what would you like to do about it?
- What would you like to change?
- What is missing?
- What would happen if nothing changed?
- What is positive/good/the best aspect of this situation?
- Where are you now compared to the goal of the session?
The questions of this type make the client think for himself, what level he reached so far, he evaluates his own performance and this creates energy around.
Reinforcement of the new habit, Results
- How do you feel now?
- What are your key learnings and new insights?
- What did you learn about yourself/ your situation?
- How are you feeling about yourself and the situation?
- What has changed?
- What can you be grateful for?
This is the phase during the coaching process where we test that new thinking becomes reality, closing the gap between an idea and a new habit. During this time, we acknowledge and celebrate. The coaching relationship can end at this point or continue according to the model with the new issue that the client will like to bring for discussion.
When the flower blossoms, the bee will come- Srikumar Rao