A Coaching Model Created by Chris Walters
(Personal Development Coach, USA)
Stop, Listen, Observe, Wonder, Understand, and then Proceed.
Mind… Body… Spirit… they are pleading for you to; SLOW UP, and let them guide you. SLOW UP is a tool to increase: mindfulness, self-awareness, self-regulation, social skills, emotional intelligence, allowing you to make the best decisions with the knowledge and resources that you have available.
This process isn’t the antidotal elixir. But I am hopeful that it can assist people in finding their inner peace and bring them closer to living their life as their true authentic self.
Use of SLOW UP
SLOW UP is an easy to apply tool that can be used in most situations to check in with oneself, clarifying that the decisions you are making are serving the greater good of your true authentic self. A few of the ways this system can be used are: to calibrate your intuition, aide you in making tough decisions, help you uncover self-defeating behaviors, or simply to recenter yourself; aligning your mind, body, and spirit.
How to SLOW UP
Stop all action. I need to take a moment to be fully present to everything that is going on inside of me and around me. Just breath. Take several deep belly breathes if needed while internally reciting to oneself, on inhale “slow” and on exhale “up”.
Listen to the sounds around me. When interaction with someone: What is the other person saying? What’s the tone of their voice? Do they have a unique rhythm in their speech? Do they use specific words? When not in a direct interaction with another person: What noises do I hear in my environment? Can I hear my own breath?
Heads-up: The purpose of Listen is to get you into the moment and out of your head. It’s to engage you with the world around you at that moment, to ground you. And listening is the fastest and most effective way to do this. It engages your body, your intuition and keeps your mind from it’s own agenda. You may even find an audible rhythm to life that is going on at every moment. The song of life.
Observe my six senses: touch, sight, taste, smell, sound and intuition. What are they telling me about this situation? How do I feel physically? Where do I feel this in my body? How intense are these feelings? What is my gut telling me?
Heads-up: Observation is situational dependent. There will usually be a primary, secondary and sometimes a tertiary sense that will be used in conjunction that relays assumptions back to your body and mind allowing for personal interpretation. This can be skewed by past experiences. This is also where the SLOW UP process can be used: as a tool to alter self-defeating habits.
Wonder what are the best possible outcomes I want. Are they inline with my true authentic self? or are these serving my ego? I must allow myself to dream. Dreaming should be used for expansive thinking and action. Dreaming must not be used as an avoidance technique. Know the difference.
Heads-up: Wonder/Dreaming can be difficult for some people because it requires one to surrender and have faith, to believe that ANYTHING is possible. You may find that your mind wants to put your dreams into a box, and repeatedly tell you in cunning ways that your dreams aren’t possible. It may scream at you to wake up to “reality”, but that’s just the limitation of your mind, not of you. Again, that’s the limitation of your mind, not of you. GOT IT?! Any negative thoughts means that you are not dreaming. Once you are dreaming you should feel light, at peace, you may even feel more energy and have a smile or smirk on your face. Your confidence may even increase. Those are all side effects of dreaming. I warn you, wondering/dreaming may become addictive and life changing.
Understand by using all the resources available to me. Listen + Observe + Wonder = Understanding to my best ability what all this information is attempting to reveal to me. My understanding of something might be different than someone else’s, and that’s fine.
Proceed when I’m ready, otherwise do not proceed. Is this decision inline with my true authentic self? or is it serving my ego? Being ready to proceed could be revealed through having a gut feeling or a “knowing” thought. Sometimes I may experience both of these assuring me it’s ok to proceed. Other times I may experience only one, or even neither, making how and when I proceed difficult for me to determine. In any of these situations, sometimes proceeding to the next step could be consulting with a friend or a professional, or some other resource before making my decision on how I proceed with the situation. Proceeding might be me trying out the situation before committing. Proceeding doesn’t have to be an all in. Sometimes I’m completely unsure of what to do next, though I know I need to make a decision. I need to remember, I can proceed by choosing to do nothing.
To “SLOW UP” is a process that will take time to form into a HABIT…
Why I should learn to SLOW UP
- To live in the moment
- To live a more fulfilling life
- To make the best of every situation
- To learn more about what makes me tick
- To find my unique life flow
- To get in touch with my higher self
- I simply want a better life, I’m ready for change
- To make the best possible decisions inline with my true authentic self
When I should SLOW UP
- I have a major decision that I need to make
- Before reacting in a self defeating way
- Before an important meeting or appointment
- To correct a self-defeating personal behavior
- When I do the same thing hoping for different results
- Something in life just feels “off”
- When a situation cause me anxiety or stress
- I feel that I’m constantly make the wrong decisions
What I can learn when I SLOW UP
- Confidence by creating positive change in myself
- Each moment is a gift, slowing down allows me to welcome it
- Who I am and who I am not and who I desire to be
- I have the opportunity to learn from every situation presented to me
- Life is not black and white, it’s the full spectrum of color and all shades of gray
- Learn what are my strengths and what are my weaknesses and how they effect me
- I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, I am perfectly imperfect
- When to push and when to give into the pull; the dance of life
Some benefits to SLOW UP
- I’m more present in the moment and not operating in auto-pilot
- I’m more confident in my intuition and decision making
- I’m happier and feel more content
- I have more compassion and empathy for myself and others
- I have healthier personal and professional relationships
- I’m more in-tune with my mind, body and spirit; I’m more at peace
- I’m learning more about my thoughts, ideas, opinions, believes, values etc
- I’m becoming whom I’ve know I’ve alway had the potential to be
I have this feeling that I keep getting in the way of myself. I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing wrong. I’m faced with this recurring situation that I believe has the opportunity to bring me beneficial results, but for some reason; I always end up with subpar results. Instead of doing the same thing over once again, producing the same subpar results, I choose to SLOW UP.
I can respond later…
I Stop and choose not to react. I Listen to the sounds around me. I Observe as many of my other senses as possible, concentrating on my intuition. I Wonder about what I would like the results to be, allowing myself to dream. (I am not thinking about possibilities in the wonder phase, thinking about possibilities is your conscious mind working, your conscious mind is restrictive in it’s ability to tap into ones higher self. I want to allow myself to dream, allowing my unconscious mind to create this vision in my mind. Create being the keyword.) With all the information I just gathered, I begin to Understand what I should do at this moment to get the desired results I dreamt about.
To double check my intuition, I can speak to friends about the situation, whom I can count on getting honest unfiltered opinions from. Either their answers will cause me to affirm or doubt my decision, or even may cause me to see it completely differently. At this point I have the option to go through the SLOW UP process again, or; Proceed and take action or not take action.
I have to respond right now…
I Stop and choose not to react. I Listen to the sounds around me. I Observe as many of my other senses as possible, concentrating on my intuition. I Wonder about what I would like the results to be, allowing myself to dream. Proceed and take action or not take action.
About the examples:
I kept the application examples in a very generic form to show it’s diverse application. SLOW UP can be used in context of almost any situation, once this becomes part of ones skill set it can be quickly referenced and used as tool for discerning what is in line with ones best interests, ones higher true authentic self.
Used as a reflection tool…
After the situation is over, go through each step of the SLOW UP process; reflect on what you believe was a win, and what you believe you would like to improve on. Be compassionate with yourself, be your best friend. Remember, there is no right or wrong, there is only learning.
To build a new habit:
After you have decided what you would like to do better, visualize it, relieve that moment in your mind, feel it in your body. Put yourself back in the situation: What did it look like, smell like, feel like, taste like, how did you feel, how did other people react. Play this through your mind like a short film, over writing the old film that you no longer want to watch.
I function on auto-pilot. Unfortunately some of my scripts that I constantly play no longer, if they have ever, serve me for my higher good. In reflection, it seems like a miracle that I’ve made it this far operating on my outdated programing. I accept that we’re all at different stages of our journey. I know that for me, to reprogram myself, I must SLOW UP. I must be diligent in my awareness, this will uncover the bugs that have kept me from operating at maximum potential. Only then, with all my innate abilities and resources, will I begin to rewrite my program, making it better. I have no vision of how long this could take, but I’m determined. I know that the more I understand myself, the better I can make myself. So I must learn myself. Ultimately I may one day write my perfect script and find my true authentic self.