A Coaching Model By Madalyn Morris, Purposeful Aging Coach, UNITED STATES
Having a purpose in life helps you focus on things that matter the most. Dr. V. Strecher
Purpose and Meaning in Life “BIRTH”
After taking ICA’s Values and Meanings class, I decided to dig deeper into this topic and took an outside course on Purpose and Meaning in Life. This class had a profound effect on me. (and brought me to many realizations and to discovering my niche!)
I never realized that the majority of my life’s purposes stemmed from trauma. When my parents got divorced, I was devastated. My mother, bad-mouthing my father, my father taking it out on my brother and me. He never asked to see us and put us in a position where if we wanted to see him, we would have to reach out. My brother turned to drugs and became a gang member. I think he was seeking a family connection that he didn’t have at home. I turned to dance. Even at a young age, I knew I needed structure. Dance saved me. I loved the beauty and discipline of it. I thrived and it became my purpose. Without this divorce, this passion would never have been realized.
My Life’s Purpose “BIRTH”
Later in my life, I became a mother to a wonderful son, Henry. Just as this beautiful relationship began, I knew another one would have to end. My husband was a functional alcoholic. I knew I needed to leave him and that I wouldn’t get any financial help. For the second time in my life, the trauma would lead me to yet another life purpose. This separation was the catalyst for me going back to school and becoming a childbirth educator. It took three years but I finally did it. I left my husband and I have to admit, I was so scared but by the grace of God and my tenacity, I landed an incredible position as an educator at a major hospital. To this day I am still a childbirth educator, living one of my life’s purposes. Helping couples embrace the miracle of birth by teaching them skills they can use before, during, and after labor. I am so blessed!
I had my dream job teaching at a major medical center for nine years. Things were great. I moved to a better apartment, Henry was thriving, and life was wonderful. However, all of that was lost a week before Christmas when the department was given notice that I would no longer have a job. I immediately went into panic mode. As a single mom, I felt alone and scared. I was freaking out. BUT, I had to hold it together for my son. His well-being was my purpose. The next morning, my survival instinct kicked in. Yet another traumatic experience in my life led me to align with my purpose. I always wanted to be a birth doula but couldn’t be while working at the hospital. This was my chance. I got my certification, put up a beautiful website, and started to attend births as well as teach childbirth classes on my own. This was a turning point for me. I had to let everything go and trust that what I was doing would help me land on my feet. And guess what? It did! Away from the corporate environment, I felt less stress, become more emotionally available to my son, and after a bit, I was making more money than I ever had. I was so much happier! I traversed this rocky transition and am doing unbelievably better in all aspects of life. From a certain perspective, I owe this newfound peace to my past trauma.
So, here I am, pursuing yet another life purpose as a Life Purpose Coach. This time, however, it is coming from my heart, not from my trauma!
As a Life Purpose Coach, my clients include women who are in a transitional phase of their lives; empty nester, divorce, loss, retirement, crisis, feelings of being stuck or have to fear around change, lack of confidence, or a woman who is on a quest to discover her life purpose.
“BIRTH” Women Who Want to Live Their Lives on Purpose.
- developing self-confidence
- discovering inner peace
- caring for your well being
- making a difference for you, for your community
- understanding the greater good (contribute to the greater good)
- broadening your perspective
- expanding consciousness
Having a purpose in life helps you focus on things that matter the most.
Being purposeful is engaging your best self and using your talents to make a positive difference in your life.
Awareness is the birthplace of possibility. Everything you want to do, everything you want to be, starts here. Deepak Chopra
Beginning; the first part of something or the start of something. (Cambridge Dictionary)
Often the hardest part of a journey is also the most important, the beginning. Purposeful change can be daunting, goals can seem unreachable, and our fear can hold us back. When beginning a journey of purposeful change, we ask ourselves these questions:
What is core to your life? What do you value? What is more important to you than your doubt/fear? What are you learning? What are you learning about yourself? How can you use this learning to help you move forward with your goal?
A nervous excitement fills me when I’m about to embark upon something new.
Intention; an aim or a plan, what one intends to do or bring about. (Merriam Webster Dictionary)
During our sessions, we explore what matters to you most, your values, your gifts, what you’re grateful for, what gets you out of bed in the morning, how you want to be remembered, and who or what inspires you. What is meaningful/important to you about this intention? What would change for you? These powerful questions will help unveil your intention. How do those questions make you feel? Excited, nervous, scared?
When I discover an intention, I figure out ways I can accomplish it, like coming up with a game plan. Sometimes I’m able to take leaps but more importantly, I have learned when to take baby steps. With my road map in mind and my body in motion, I can get closer to my intention.
Readiness; willingness or a state of being prepared for something. (Cambridge Dictionary)
Readiness brings confidence. Confidence in your trajectory, yourself, and your purpose. Your life purpose! Confidence allows you to depart from that liminal space by using your talents, a vision of how you want to be in this world, what you have to offer, and taking steps to link your behavior to your purpose. What does that first step look like? What needs to be put in place for you to achieve your first step? How does this make you feel?
When everything is set in place and I’m ready to take those necessary steps toward my goals, I feel focused and alive. I am ready. Bring it!
Trust; assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or the truth of someone or something. One in which confidence is placed. (Cambridge Dictionary)
Big, deep breath! Allow the awareness you’ve discovered about yourself unlocks true introspection. Connect to your core, to your vision, to your purpose! Leading with the priorities and values that are important to you. Trust allows you to fully engage in this chapter of your life. Let it go and let it happen. What would trusting yourself feel like?
For me, trust took a lot of time. When I learned to let go of my fears and emotional attachments, my life became truly easier! I felt a sense of freedom that I never experienced before. I replaced fear with trust.
Healing; to make sound or whole. (Merriam Webster Dictionary)
Acceptance, grace, and gratitude allow the healing process to begin. Love, life, letting go. Being in the moment. Healing allows you to move forward with a sense of yourself, your values, and the gift you can bring to the world.
My healing process began when I learned to forgive. This helped me shed the unnecessary weight that was holding me down. I found inner peace and my life purpose followed.
This task is daunting. BUT, you don’t have to do it alone.
Unlock your purpose and have the courage to live it!
English Dictionary, Translations & THESAURUS. Cambridge Dictionary
Dictionary by Merriam-Webster: America’s Most-Trusted Online Dictionary. Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster