Coaching Case Study By Victoria Garcia
(Transformational Coach, ECUADOR)
NLP Changing limiting believes and gaining trust in order to pursue goals.
Neuro-Linguistic programming has proven to be a way that you can do just that. It is pain-free, drug-free and takes very little effort for the results that you see. Unlike a lot of quasi-therapeutic methods, NLP was developed by psychologists that had a firm grasp on the importance of behavior modification technique.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming can help:
Eliminate bad habits like procrastination.
Break the chains of addiction.Improve overall mood and emotional balance.
Avoid the emotional roller coaster rides.
Spot the emotional clues and warning signs leading to behavioral issues.
There is no doubt that not having adequate control over your emotions and behavior can make life difficult for you and those around you. Nervous and anxious individuals not only increase stress in themselves, but it ramps up the atmosphere of stress for anyone around. It is easy to tell yourself to “not worry” about things, but putting that into practice is not always easy. In fact, it is never easy if you have made a lifelong habit out of worrying about anything and everything imaginable. Gaining control should be placed as a priority in life.
During several months of coaching sessions, I had the opportunity to work with a great client. It was very interesting to see the progress made by only working on his thoughts and keeping a journal to help him remember about those things he wanted to have and the person he wanted to be.
The goal was to be able to change his life fully, he moved to a different country, quit his job in order to pursue his dream of becoming an entrepreneur. He had all the skills, the experience, the networking, the mindset but all was block by the thoughts he created on a daily basis. The limiting beliefs he had over his shoulder that did not allow him to trust, and to acknowledge that he had it all. One of the many challenges was the fact that he changed his environment completely, from being in the corporate world to finding himself alone and responsible for all the decision from now onwards.
The time he took to adapting in the new routine and environment cost him a lot of struggles, he had the urged of coming back because he did not see the answers to all the questions the changes arose.
The sessions where on weekly basis, and I was there fully professional for him, to listen and to guide him with questions and observations, using every now and then blended coaching that allow me to share with him some points, and observations when he wanted to listen to them.
We will find progress in filling the gaps with real information he found every time, also observations, and appreciations for the things he had around him. He went back to remember all the achievements he had, and how challenging they were at a point but yet he made it. There was progress however like the S curve says, things will grow slowly until a point, the limit and then they will fall back and we start again. He felt very motivated and confident one week and after one or two the limiting beliefs will control everything he wanted to do, feeling unsure, insecure and thinking about what people might think of him. Yes, many moments the process had the feeling of moving backwards however he was always moving forward. In order to achieve these I used different techniques and one of it was NLP. Before working on some structures to replace beliefs and ideas to the ones he wanted to have, I asked him some questions to explore a little more and identify those beliefs and ideas.
Some examples are:
What is the limiting belief about yourself that you wish you didn’t believe?
Is it alright with your unconscious for you to get rid of this belief today, and for you to be consciously aware of it?And when you think of that belief, do you have a picture?
Think of a belief which is no longer true. For example, ‘I am 18 years old,’ or ‘Santa Claus is real.’ Do you have a belief like that which you used to believe, but isn’t true now?
And when you think of that belief, do you have a picture in your mind?
Use Contrastive Analysis to find possible drivers.
Think of that belief that you wish you didn’t believe. And when you think of it, do you have the picture?
Now what about that old belief? How is it different now?
Think of a belief which is absolutely true, like “The Sun will come up tomorrow
When you think of that belief, do you have a picture in your mind?
Think of the positive belief that you want to have instead – probably the opposite of the limiting belief you used to have. When you think of that, do you have a picture?
Now, what do you believe about your ability to __________. Why do you have this new belief?
Think of a time in the future when, if it had happened in the past, you would have believed __________, and tell me what happens instead.”
Another exercise my client enjoyed and work on it for couple of weeks until he was able to really feel, all these beliefs where him.
- What is the man that I want to become?
- What is that you want change?
- How do you feel about your coaching business?
(When I start to coach him around his business, building the structure and the strategies around it)
For all the previous I will always take notes of my clients answers, and at the end of the session I will share with them. He made his own notes too and with the answers he found from all the questions above we created a process to work on a daily basis.
Process:
- Begin monitoring your thoughts
- Define thoughts patterns
- Realize that everything is part of a larger cycle
- Space between
- Mindful of words
After several weeks he shared with me that things have really changed, he used different techniques to help himself to train his brain with different thoughts, he used reminders on his phone, post sticks on his bathroom wall and besides having a coach he asked his partner to help him and keep him accountable on this process. I was very happy with the progress, the results and overall to see he took actions and start moving forward in pursuing his dreams and he still does. It does not mean new challenges will arise, however he was able to change some of his beliefs and he open new doors because of it.
The issue in gaining control is the “how” to do so. The reason why things seem to fall apart is because one may have tried a number of times, but the correct tools and techniques are not being used. This in turn leads to a frustrating round and round process, whereby, a person keeps repeating the same action over and over, yet they are expecting the same result.
Gaining control is therefore all about modifying behavior, in such a way that one can see a marked difference in present circumstances.