Research Paper By Ahmed Magdy
(Peak Performance Life Coach, KUWAIT)
1. The Main Players in the Case Study & Background
It was a coaching package consists of 4 sessions over 4 weeks. The main players were me (The Coach) and Tina (Real Name Changed) (Female) (The Client).
2. The Issue
Why is it a problem?
The problem was that Client is 32 years old and didn’t get married yet. According to Middle East culture, this is considered a late delay in marriage. She was obsessed about marriage, thinking it would be the ultimate happiness tool that will revolutionize her life for better. She were crying too much, very emotional, very sensitive, and connecting her happiness to having a life partner. Therefore, she had medium to low level of passion and aliveness toward life, Lazy most of times. It’s like she clicked PAUSE to everything until the waited partner shows up.
How long has it been a problem?
Since she didn’t get married yet, so it’s a long term problem, but the main worrying and concern may arise after 28 years old.
What is the worst thing about this problem?
The worst thing about it is that Tina is emotional person by nature, and she feels emotionally deprived by not having married, she feel incomplete and not fulfilled although she’s very interested in personal development and attend regular classes in many motivational areas. She hired many coaches before me and seems didn’t experience any transformation. Life is paused. That’s the point.
Why has no one been able to solve it so far?
As you know the issue is very sensitive, our culture is a little restricted, so she can’t go to introduce herself for someone asking him to marry her. It’s about fate and coincidence in many ways. This is the way it’s perceived here in Arabian Culture. So she feels out of control regarding that. It’s really a big dilemma here, And I believe it was hard coaching challenge for me, because client doesn’t have too much control or actions to take so she can solve the problem. I believe it’s spiritual and mind actions more than movement actions
3. The Coaching Model I used
I found that the best model to use in this case is ORID coaching model.
Objective Questions: I asked about the issue, what’s problem? And defined with the client the main success criteria of every session.
- What do you want to happen by the end of this session to call it successful?
- What’s exactly moved you to call me as your coach?
- If I can help you overcome one problem, what would it be?
- From 0-10, How ideal the situation right now?
Reflective Questions : Here, I digged deeper to understand what the client feel about the problem. And clarified the motives behind her desire to marry and to worry about this issue. The client seemed focusing too much on the outside and neglect her inside, the self care doesn’t take that much in her schedule.
- Why do you want to marry?
- How do you feel without marriage?
- What do think the married woman has and you don’t?
- If there is something rather than marriage you can get, what would it be?
Interpretive Questions: Here we started to think forward about what possibilities we can generate if we live life in a new way. She started to talk about her hobbies and explore more of the inner side of passion and values. She started to realize that she is more than just a marriage wish, she has a lot to do with life. She can feed her emotional need by fulfilling her passions in Travelling, Writing, and Learning from YouTube motivational videos.
- What can you do to marry?
- What can you do to become happy and emotionally fulfilled?
- What’s your next direction?
- How to reach ultimate happiness in your life?
Decisional Questions: Now she decided to move forward and take new steps, she decided to get back to reading and nourish her hobby of learning about new touristic destinations. She decided to visualize her marriage every morning to send vibration to the universe. A total positive look to the issue. She decided to let go and to release attachment to the goal. Just she trusts the universal intelligence that will bring her wish in the perfect time.
What are your decisions?
- Give me 3 Specific actions to do toward your destination?
- What are going to be your supporting habits?
- How will you know that succeeded?
- How would you ensure commitment?
I believe it was successful. I’ve known latter that she joined a network marketing company and started to build a new career there. It seems that my coaching program pushed her to discover life and see new possibilities in front of her and not to become attached or obsessed by life goals. She decided to move forward and encounter a new challenge
5. Future Modifications
I’ll spend more time in reflection stage. I believe it’s the core of every issue. Once it’s clear to the client, everything else is clear. And I’ll get back to basic that we create our own reality. If we are unhappy, it’s because of us not anything else.
6. Lessons from the Experience.
Don’t force the client to take any suggestion from your side.
ORID model is amazing in discovering problems and complicated challenges.
Listening from the heart and not judging any opinion.