The first step to making any change is to introduce lightness. Basically, you need to lighten up and move away from a significant mindset.
Summary
(0:00 ) What is the first step to making changes?
(0:14) The first step to making any change is to lighten up
(0:23) Lighten Up your perspective, the way you see the world
(0:26) Lightness vs Significance
(0:35) Significance leads to burnout and errors
(0:55) Technique: Introduce play
(1:20) Use questions to help the client think beyond the issue
(1:40) Encourage the client to assume an extreme perspective
(1:59) Often when a fear is faces, we realize our own power
(2:10) If you were a Superhero, what would you think of this situation?
(2:20) A simple shift in perspective can change how the client sees their world
(2:42) Questions for you…. Think 1 year in the future… how can you lighten up?
Lighten up
The first step to making any change is to lighten up. It may sound really silly to say lighten up your perspective, the way you see the world around you. By introducing lightness vs significance, you will allow that client to really open up their mind to new possibilities.
Now, often I think when we look at problems that we encounter with a lot of significance, a lot of heaviness. This then leads to stress, it leads to burnout and often it leads to errors. So, let’s abandon that significant mind thinking and moving to a place that is more of lightness.
Lightness vs Significance
One technique to introduce lightness is with the concept of play. By introducing play in the coaching relationship I am not talking about going out of the playground, although yes that is still considered play. Talking about taking a differed kind of approach than looking the problem straight on. Play can take the form of questions that you interject when the client may be in a space where they feel frustrated or angry or upset. An example of these questions are, “how could these situations be fun?” The client may not have an answer exactly. But to help them to think about a situation where they would like to include some fun or some lightness this heavy significance.
Another question is to encourage the client to assume for the moment that the best-case or the worst-case scenario has unfolded. We call this extreme perspectives: taking on the worst fear or the best-case scenario and playing through what would happen in those instances unfolded. Often when you look at the worst case scenario, those things that we’re afraid of, have little or no power to us in reality.
Now, one of my favorites is if you are a super hero and have super hero powers, what would you think of this situation. So it makes seem a little silly, a little absurd but even if it is just a little giggle the client has, even for a moment, even for a second, that shift of perspective will open up some space to see the situation differently. And often all we need is that moment for a new idea to come to us, to change the entire way we see the situation in front of us.
What is Your Situation?
I leave you with one more question to think about, for yourself in your own situation. This could be something you’re considering, contemplating, a situation at works, or in your personal life. Think forward a year from today… will the situation or does the situation play a big role in your life? It may or may not… think of your own a situation. Introduce some play, introduce some lightness in your life, lighten up, so to speak.
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