Gain insights into how you or your clients can build self-respect and move away from invalidation. In our calls this week, Coaching 101 participants from the US, Switzerland, Canada, the UK, and the Netherlands joined the conversation to learn more about creating a positive picture of their ideal selves.
(0:30) Helping a client who is invalidating.
(0:51) There is a connection between inward and outward actions.
(1:09) By judging others, we then judge ourselves.
(1:30) Bringing awareness to a client.
(2:06) Respect is letting go of judgment.
(2:30) Create a positive picture of your ideal self.
How you respect yourself = How you respect others.
The first thing to think about and to realize is that respect is not an outward judgment of someone else. Respect is an inward feeling about yourself, so respect is how you judge yourself. However, there is a connection between inward and outward actions. How you respect yourself will be identical to how you respect others. Inward respect equals outward respect. That means outward judgment is a reflection of inward judgment. When we judge others, we judge ourselves. What we may find respectful in others we may find respectful in ourselves. What we find disrespectful in others we find disrespectful in ourselves as well. The way you judge yourself and the harshness of it will directly affect how harshly you judge others around you.
When you are working with a client that may be judging others, help them to understand that what is inside is reflected outside. If they are disrespecting others or find themselves stuck in situations where they feel they have no control, have that client begin to look at themselves first, because there are likely areas in their own personal life that may require their focus.
Respect is letting go of judgment.
First, let go of your judgment, it’s damaging and harmful to yourself. Begin to paint a different picture of yourself, think of words like consideration, esteem, values, admiration. Begin to draw a picture of how you want the world to see you. How do you want to see yourself? This could be really playful with a client. Allow the client to be very creative and designing a picture of their ideal self, of who they would like to be. The first step in helping the client to overcome invalidating themselves or others is to build some respect to stop the judgment. Do not judge. No judgment, towards yourself or others.