With Merci Miglino, PCC
Coaching is about finding a solution but that is not the goal. You heard right…it’s not about solving a problem. For example: I coached a woman today who is struggling with pursuing her art, raising a family and helping her husband with his business. After listening closely, I heard she had the planning and scheduling down pat but was still feeling weary, unfulfilled and stuck. Her struggle or stuck-ness came from thinking she should be able to do more, be more and create more.
The overall goal of coaching (at least the way I do it and teach it) is to support the client and help them find the idea, thought, or belief that holds everything in the stuck place. The solution then is a by-product of having someone think differently, gain a new perspective, and take action on it automatically.
That’s where the shift takes place- and the emotions can change from there.
As for tools and techniques, well, here is the truth – the only tool/technique that you need is listening. How we listen, what we hear, don’t hear, that is what coaching is all about. Usually, there are more solutions to a problem than we believe. We tend to think it’s either this or that because we’re stuck with an idea about the solution. A coach can introduce an alternative option that opens up new ways to view the same situation that could include combining this and that since it doesn’t have to be an either/or choice. However, it often takes someone “on the outside” to introduce another possibility. That’s where the what if coaching question can be very powerful.
As I said to my client today, “What if you let fall away the idea that your life is supposed to be different than it is?
Well, you can predict the rest – she moved from comparing to appreciating and the rest fell into place.