The M.I.R.R.O.R metaphor /acronym that I have selected to describe my concept of Self-Care is made up of 6 letters/ elements. M.I.R.R.O.R is aimed at helping you mirror back the “self” in you. M.I.R.R.O.R. can be used as an exploratory and assessment tool of your current self-care.
Engage in each element carefully. Do not immerse yourself in one too much to the extent that you get stuck in it. Use M.I.R.R.O.R with an intent to discover, understand, and embrace what is within you while aiming at growing and becoming a better you.
Sometimes becoming aware and acknowledging a certain state can be enough. At other times, some actions may be required. Some of you might need to consider one element or several elements of M.I.R.R.O.R more than the others. Remember, it is your own M.I.R.R.O.R and it caters to your own uniqueness.
M – Mind & Mental Health
M not only speaks with your thoughts and brain activity but also cares about their wellness and health. It is about:
- Being mindful of what is in your mind;
- Being present in the moment and clearing your mental clutter;
- Organizing your thoughts;
- Engaging with your memories and conversing with them (when needed);
- Exercising and stretching your mental abilities;
- Daring to connect with your fighting thoughts and unresolved issues, acknowledging them, and teaching them how to articulate and speak slowly and clearly for you to listen and decide on what best serves you; (Ignoring them might have them haunt your head for a while and might leave you in a state of being pre-occupied, unfocused, and uncertain.)
- Assessing what is in your mind and how it is or is not serving you at the moment and what you can do to improve your mental clarity, activity, and wellness.
I – Inner-Self & Intuitive Inclinations
I speaks with your emotional and spiritual state. It connects with your feelings and your intuitions. I invites you to view yourself as a multidimensional being who has both vice and virtue within (and acknowledges you that it is only natural and normal to have them).
Connecting with I helps you:
- Be in touch with your emotions;
- Make sure you are well at heart;
- Take care of your spirit and watch how your mood affects you;
- Tame your inner monster and stroke your inner angel while bringing the best out of the two; (yes, the two! Your monster might have a very important message that you would be better off listening to. The essence of the message might be so different than the form it is presenting itself with.)
- Acknowledge your feelings- those that serve you and those that do not- while being more open-minded than judgmental of yourself. (Ignoring some feelings might only make them get wilder and wilder while running the risk of being suddenly attacked by them bringing you down and making you feel unwell.)
R- Reality & Recurrences
R invites you to a reality check. It invites you to explore the given and to assess recurring events in your life. R encourages you to:
- Become more aware of your reality;
- Become more sensitive and mindful towards recurring situations and events in your life and how they affect your mental, emotional and physical being;
- Identify key players and members in your life and how their interplay affects you;
- Check on what you automatically, routinely, and reactively do and how it is serving or not serving you.
R – Rituals & Recreations
The second R in M.I.R.R.O.R encourages you to re-visit current rituals and activities that you have for yourself and to create new ones when needed. It invites you to:
- Maintain/ create structures that cater to your needs and your wellness;
- Slot certain times in your schedule as “BUSY” for some “me-time”
- Be courageous to pick things that are not working for you and to make them work for you (by removing, changing, improving them… whatever you decide, just make sure the decision serves you.)
- Engage in recreations that refresh your mental, emotional, and physical wellness
- Be consistent and/ or random where and when you find best for you. (To explore this further, I invite you to read my Power Tool Consistency and Randomness)
O – Oxygen & Oneness
O reminds you to breathe. In the midst of all that life can bring and take, and in the midst of your own self-exploration and assessment, you might become overwhelmed. O encourages you to check for coherence, alignment, and harmony among the different parts of you. It also reminds you that:
- Breathing is not only about relaxing; it is also about activity;
- If you are way too relaxed or if you are panting more often, ask yourself: How is that serving me in the current state? How long am I willing to stay at this state? What alerts can I establish for myself to avoid unfavorable circumstances?
- You are only human. Stretch your limits and challenge yourself but do not forget “you” in the middle. Mindfully indulge yourself in what you do.
- You are “One”. Embrace your different parts and connect with them to create synergy for yourself. Focus on your wholeness and wellness. Listen to what your mind, soul, and body are telling you and help them be in congruence with who you are and what you want to be.
R – Reflection & Review
The third R in M.I.R.R.O.R invites you to pause, contemplate, and assess. It encourages you to embrace an empowering perspective of who you are. Connecting it to all the previous elements of M.I.R.R.O.R., the third R is about evaluating how all these elements are working together and whether they are working for you or not. If you choose to engage with this R without going through the other elements, it can help you reflect on your current state: how you have been doing things and how you can do them differently to better serve you. Some useful ways to consider the third R is to:
- Engage in some self-assessment: How have I been? Does that really work for me? How do I really feel? How am I taking care of my mind, soul, body and oneness? How can I maintain what I have established? Who and what can help me through this? Am I being true to myself?
- Mindfully ask yourself the unlocking question (as I like to call it). Mr. Bill Treasurer, Chief Encouragement Officer from Giant Leap Consulting, first shared it with me in our interview How is (your name) with (your name)? e.g.: How is Samar with Samar? You would be amazed at how much you can open up and share with yourself about yourself.
- Consider the different perspectives that you are embracing in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Many of these perspectives are shared in the International Coach Academy curriculum as Power Tools. Choose those that are relevant to you, make them personal:
Am I… responding versus reacting? taking responsibility versus blaming? behaving with lightness versus significance? acting versus delaying? committing versus trying? respecting versus invalidating? trusting versus doubting? engaging truthfully versus fraudulently?
Alternatively, create your own, or select some of those created by others. Use them to evaluate your current state and to adopt a more empowering perspective that better serves you.
M.I.R.R.O.R is your uniqueness tool. It converses with your Mind, hugs your Inner-spirit, shines on your Reality, nurtures fresh Rituals and recreations, invites you to breathe… to engage wholly in being “One”. It rises from the deep, and ultimately does what a mirror does: a surface which Reflects a clear image… of YOU. Samar A. Naim