A Coaching Power Tool created by Stacey Cripps
(Executive Coach, UNITED STATES)
Through allowing you become what you are; vast, spacious. You become whole. You are not a fragment anymore, which is how ego perceives itself. Your true nature emerges, which is one with the nature of GOD.(Eckhart Tolle)
In this quote by Eckhart Tolle, he makes us keenly
aware of the space that allows everything to be.
The space he is referring to is the Now or the Present moment.
Have you ever heard of the saying, “Your life runs you, instead of you running your life?” Imagine you are here, someone who has fallen victim to their life. Have you ever felt like you are just going through the daily grind motions with low energy controlled by someone or something? You feel you have no choices and are stuck in this life situation. You feel boxed in, small or of little value. It could be that your life schedule is so busy, so hectic you find yourself doing for everyone but not for yourself. In this place you are feeling down, complain often of someone or some circumstance and you fear your life dream slipping away. Eventually, the feeling of being controlled or powerless makes you uncomfortable and angry. In turn, you project this feeling to the outside world in an attempt to gain back the control; you display controlling behavior. People in your life you come in contact with are puzzled by your communication and your changed behavior. You may feel so controlled that you experience hopelessness and want to get away to escape. How did we get to a place of losing control over our life, losing our true natural self? If allowing the present moment is the place to be to experience our true nature-and we are not here-then where are we? What are we allowing? In this case, we are not in the present moment; we are in denial of the present. We have formed a self-defeating belief by going into the future and drawing a conclusion or we have yet to release what happened in the past in order to move on in the present. Eckhart Tolle in his book, The Power of Now explains the past as “resisting what happened in the past, so resisting what is.”
When we let go in stillness, go inward and are present in the moment, we are allowing. As we begin to relax, breathe and let go, the divine energy within us begins to free us from our need to control and struggle and we feel our true nature again. We are open to infinite possibilities. We are in the process of receiving and releasing self defeating beliefs, noisy thoughts, and low negative energies. The low negative energies are gone and are replaced by uplifting, inspirational, positive energies. We are taking our power back and trusting in something bigger, something greater. We are at peace and can allow creation to exist in our lives again placing us on our divine life path to serve many. We are in a state of higher awareness, connecting to our oneness and tapping into our truth. Our renewed light, energetic state of being is contagious to other people who desire to feel and act as we do.
When we control, we are playing small with limits and resisting possibility. We are feeling trapped or backed into a corner. We are giving our power away. Instead of feeling a sense of empowerment, we are feeling powerless. Fear masks as control and blocks possibility, creativity, love, connections, inner peace and most of all your higher self, the true you. We may feel anxious, emotionally unavailable, isolated, stuck, drained, lost, burdened or desperate. When we are living as if controlled by something or someone, we are not present in the moment and are attaching to an outcome of events happening in a particular way. We make this outcome so significant; it generates intensity around our every action. The ego is at work falsifying what is limiting us to all that is. We tend to control life externally based on what we are erroneously concluding and we are operating from a self-defeating belief. This not only has an impact on us, it has and impact on everyone who comes in contact with us to where the controlling negative energy transfers to other people enacting similar feelings and behavior in them. If you are controlling, you are not allowing miracles to happen.
Allowing + Stillness= Peace
Control + Noise=War
War is losing the battle with the noise of self defeating beliefs in the mind.
Peace is seating ourselves in stillness to allow the true essence of who we are to come through.
When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.
Take a look at the example below of someone who is giving her power away, putting herself in a position controlled by psychological time by the mind’s self-defeating belief.
Cindy is a wife, mom, school volunteer, sole proprietor who runs a successful business out of her home and she is currently enrolled in a MBA program. She is an accomplished, driven, ambitious individual who enjoys her family life and loves her work. When her business gets busy, she feels an enormous limited amount of pressure to succeed in all areas and starts to feel controlled by the amount of time left in a day to get everything done. She becomes rigid with her time and believes “there is never enough time in the day!” She is giving her power away to this self-defeating belief. She is saying “yes” to all requests and is operating from fear of not completing them on time. Her energetic higher self dissipates into feeling anxious and exhausted. She complains often, feels desperate, and is very reactive at home. The smallest of tasks feel like a heavy burden. She is accomplishing less and less daily and is exhibiting dictating, controlling behavior at home. She is critical of herself and is emotionally unavailable. She has stopped her exercise routine, leisure time with family, social life with friends and, is feeling weighted down. Due to Cindy’s overwhelming state, she is not present in the moment or aware of her behavior. As she sits down with her son after school to help him with his homework, she can’t seem to focus. She is feeling anxious about making dinner and begins to rush her son through his homework. The controlling energy she is putting out transfers to her young son who is feeling the same sense of disempowerment. He is saying to her, “I am never going to finish my homework on time to play with my friends.”
- What is allowing?
- What does allowing do for us?
- Where in your life are you controlling and what are you choosing to believe?
- What feelings are produced by a controlling, self-defeating belief?
- What part does the ego play?
Building the Practice of Allowing
When you are allowing, you are choosing to be still in the present moment to experience the true nature of yourself. Next, we will talk about how to build the practice of allowing through meditation, awareness of self-defeating beliefs, and self-care. Self care is taking time to care for self on a daily basis including asking for and receiving support. Like anything else, when you decide to make a change in your life, it is first a choice and then a commitment which takes patience and daily practice. Research says it takes 21 days to form a new habit and break an old habit, so daily practice and patience is essential.
Start with 5 Minutes
When I allow myself to be still, I am amazed by what I discover-Life is waiting to share its secrets with me. I trust God, the Universe and Spirit. All is well.
Louise Hay spoke at the “I Can Do It” conference in New York last year and shared how to do a 5 minute, simple meditation. She advises to pay attention to the last 5 minutes before you go to sleep at night and the first 5 minutes when you wake up in the morning. She suggests practicing gratitude during your last 5 minutes of the day and setting your intention for the day during the first 5 minutes when you wake in the morning. In anticipation, she also says during these 5 minutes you should quiet the mind, allow the guidance to come in and see what you get. Keep a journal and write it all down.
Silencing the mind is the key to allowing. Another way to build the act of allowing is through meditation. Meditation is a practice of going within to increase self awareness and the truth of who you are. According to James Van Praagh, author of the book, Meditations with James Van Praagh, “Meditation is a way to move into consciousness of real knowing. As we sit silently and focus our attention inwardly, we start to become aware of our true self.” Sarah Mclean, author of the book, Soul Centered: Transform Your Life in 8 Weeks with Meditation, states, “Meditation is the perfect companion on your path to self discovery and healing.”