A Coaching Power Tool created by Sridhar Laxman
(Executive Coaching & Life Coaching, INDIA)
Which Word Dominates Your Life ?
Quick Question: What’s a four-letter word that comes in all shapes and sizes, gets created day and night, attacks the young, the old, men, women, and doesn’t spare even children ?
A four-letter word that never rests, grows each time its ignored, brings down the most talented, the most capable of men and women, stops them dead in their tracks, prevents them from achieving excellence, destroys magnificent ideas before they are brought to life and promotes being average ?
A word that causes sickness, stress, poor thinking, a word that defines the destiny of all those who surrender to it ?
The word is……. F E A R
Fear respects no boundaries, rules or laws. Fear never rests. Fear gets created day and night, at work and at home, in the supermarket, at the theatre, during a party, in school, at the temple, in a bus…
Most fears are psychological and show up as worry, panic, embarrassment, tensions all stemming from poorly managed thinking and imagination.
Fear is real, its the #1 enemy of success and stops the best and most talented of people from making the most of their opportunities. Fear makes people sick, causes foggy thinking, slows and most times even shuts down decision making.
Fear causes low self confidence and poor self esteem. Fear gets people to freeze even when they know its unproductive, unnecessary and absolutely the wrong thing to do.
So does all this make fear the most powerful force on Earth?
The answer thankfully is a big NO. Despite its ability to be born anywhere, anytime, to cause such damage, fear has one nemesis, a force it just cannot win against.
A force that can conquer all fears. A force that when unleashed can eliminate fear and bring incredible things to life.
And that powerful force is…… Action.
Action is what differentiates the winners from the losers, those who get things done from those that wish they could, the consistently successful from the flash in the pan, the achiever from the dreamer, the champion from the whiner, those who appreciate from those that complain….
Action has enormous power, action is magical, action is what delivers results.
Action Cures Fear
That powerful line is from David Schwartz’s book ‘the Magic Of Thinking Big’. Three simple words that convey a lifetime of knowledge.
Three words that when followed to the last letter can help anyone create a wonderful life, a life of their dreams. A life-based on their immense potential, passions and desires and not baseless, self-created fears.
Three words that are sadly…. ignored by most people.
So that begs the million dollar question…
- Which word dominates your life?
- Fear or Action?
Clients will have fears, that’s a reality. It may be something they fear a lot, maybe just a little. It may be something they express, something they are conscious about or it could be something that they have ignored and has turned into limiting beliefs.
Fears about being rejected, about being laughed at, fear of hearing a no, fear of being told they are not good enough…
Fears that stop them from writing a blog post, submitting an assignment [sound familiar anyone? J ], asking someone out, taking up new responsibilities, expressing their ideas, speaking up, saying no when required, standing up for something they believe in….
Clients, will have fears.
As coaches, we must help them think about facing their fears, exploring where they come from, what its teaching them, how its limiting them, how they can let it go, what it would feel like to be free of the fear and how much they could achieve once they overcome it.
Getting them to think about, focus on, pay attention to the actions that can start making a difference is a first good step. Its helps shift their perspective from being controlled to being in control, from being limited to feeling liberated…
We must also help our clients improve their quality of thinking, help them move from focusing on the fears to the actions that will get them closer to their goals.
Sir John Whitmore in his book ‘Coaching for Performance’ says
The underlying and ever present goal of a coach is to build self-belief.
Nudging our clients towards small steps, acknowledging them for taking little actions, making them aware of their progress, small successes, helping them build a sense of urgency, encouraging them to continue to take baby steps are all essential in helping build that self-belief.
Come to the edge, he said We are afraid, they said Come to the edge, he said They came He pushed them…. And they flew Apollinaire Guillaume
Here are some questions that could help our clients face and overcome their fears:
- What impact is this fear having on your life?
- What must you do to let go of this fear?
- What is the opposite of feeling this fear? How does that feel?
- What would happen if you took action despite having the fear?
- How would it feel to be free of this fear?
To summarize, fear is probably the most common reason our clients stop themselves from living upto true potential and as coaches, we need to make them aware and help them face their fears. Our efforts should also be in helping them strengthen their self-belief so they feel confident to take action and achieve their goals.
Feel the fear and do it anyway Susan Jeffers