A Coaching Power Tool Created by Sheila Holder
(Life Coach, BERMUDA)
We all experience fear, but if we can look deeply into our fear we will be able to free ourselves from its grip and touch joy. Thich Nhat Hanh
Everything you want is on the other side of fear…. Jack Canfield
Fear as defined by Merriam-Webster Online dictionary states that “fear is be be afraid and worried or to expect something bad or unpleasant.” It continues by stating that “fear is an unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of dander.”
Fear is a legitimate emotion experienced by all humans that acts as a motivation to keep us from physical harm and possibly death. In the most general terms it implies anxiety and loss of courage. But according to Burchard, (2014)
Fear has become a crutch for emotional weakness. And as with all crutches we shall fall slave to its use unless we once more condition our strength.
As such humans declare their fearfulness for many of life’s situations:
- Fear of success
- Fear of failure
- Fear of losing face
- Fear of public speaking
- Fear of aging
- Fear of losing or handling money
- Fear of rejection
Fears bombard us as humans. Everyone knows fear. It can appear in an instant and throw us into chaos, yet it can also save our life. Fear is a natural response to physical danger, but it can also be self-created, such as the fear of failure, fear of being out of control, fear of being different or fear of being lonely. There is a fear of the future and of death. One may fear love because they fear being rejected; one may fear being generous because they fear you will not have enough; one may fear sharing his or her thoughts or feelings in case they appear wrong;
Fear robs humanity of light, posits Burchard. (2014)
Fear in most general terms implies a lack of courage. It denotes a reluctance to face a situation or an uncertainty. It is an emotion that is unpleasant in nature. In our life journey we face many uncertainties. Fear keeps us in a cocoon keeping us stagnant and restricted. We become content to stay in our comfort zone. One of the real culprits of fear is the unknown. One is usually fearful of something that has not yet happened. Fear will keep one stuck and unable to move forward. In and of its self, fear is not a negative emotion. Fear breeds caution yet it impedes our progress in life and hinders our personal freedom.
Ed and Deb Shapiro (2010) declare,
As long as you push away, deny or ignore fear, it will hold you captive and keep you emotionally frozen, unable to move forward. In that place, you become untrusting of love and spontaneity; you get angry or hide. But where fear contracts and closes the heart—resisting love—love expands and opens the heart, embracing fear.
Fear is usually right up in our face unless we push it away, walk through it, or resist it, it will take over. Fear can immobilize us and freeze us in one spot. Unless we choose freedom we will always be stuck in the world of fear. Fear must be replaced with valor.
We are afraid of things are outside of ourselves, things that we cannot control. We worry about having to let go of all the things we care about. We even worry about our loved ones. It is only when we have the power to look deeply at our fears that fear cannot control us, posits THICH NHAT.
The antidote for fear is courage. All of us experience setbacks at some point in our life journey. It takes courage to keep fighting when it seems that all is lost or when you are in the grip of fear. It takes courage to push through your fear and to test your limits. When one exhibits courage they choke fear. It takes courage to look fear in the face and move forward.
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that feat. Nelson Mandela
Courage is not limited to the battlefield or the Indianapolis 500 or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are the inner tests, like remaining faithful when nobody’s looking, like enduring pain when the room is empty, like standing alone when you’re misunderstood. Charles Swindoll
Courage as defined by the Webster-Merriam online dictionary states that courage is the ability to do something that you know is difficult or dangerous. Our state of mind can enables one to be resolute and to be possessed with confidence. We can be afraid and be willing to act anyway. We just don’t let fear take over. That’s is showing courage.