Self –Application
Sara’s story is quite common. We all went through a phase of choosing between something that makes our heart sing, that makes us unique and to feel fulfilled or to stay in an environment that makes us feel safe, we build up slowly our community live in conformity and sometimes we forget what makes us a special individual. Individuality is not only as the stories tells us, leaving and go travelling, it is about doing what your being should do. We can keep a conformed life and a great individuality, by having an own style, a believe, a moral a passion a talent.
Sadly when we do not know what to do we stay where we are, a natural behaviour, we follow the group, we stay with the group and avoid change. We restrict ourselves of not growing or expanding towards the magnificent person we all are. Conformity may dominate our lives, but there is always the chance to make a mark, to become more of an individual than a clone. We can value each person’s individual differences and understand how they can contribute to the whole picture.
When we are totally honest with ourselves and lead by example we find our way of living with integrity in conformity.
Nietzsche quote,
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. So, dare to be yourself!
Reflection
- How do you define individuality?
- In what areas in your life do you see your individuality the most?
- Think about the last time you made a decision that balanced individuality and conformity?
- What are your values?
- What makes you unique and special?
- What are ways or tools you could use to balance the two?
- How would you feel if you choose more individuality? How could it change your life?
- Are there still underlying believes in the way for you to balance individuality and conformity?
- How much do you confirm your talents and dreams? Why?
- What makes your heart sing?
Caching Application
Clients come to coaches when they have decided to make changes in their lives and feel they need the support to advance.
They want to reach concrete results or goals, gain awareness and wish to develop a happier life. How can coaching apply this tool? Generally people are afraid of change but want to grow, expand, develop and discover themselves.
We know that coaching works majorly with the values and life purpose of the client and with finding a healthy balance between individuality and conformity. Because by living with ones values and to live with integrity we reach a practice of individuality, we reach a state of true fullness to ourselves.
When we push aside our inner voice, intuition, talents, that is when we loose ourselves in conformity. Because at the end it is about to become who you truly are in the group or society.
As a coach you support the client in this journey. By using powerful questions and assessments to help the client gain awareness, confidence and fulfillment and all of that brings the balance between individuality and conformity.
Coaching is there to create this safe environment and trust. You don’t have to be somebody with your coach you are yourself. The client can explore gently the path of self -discovery and individuality. By finding their inner strengths and values they reach greatness. They live balanced and individually meaning that you have identified those distinctive personality traits or characteristics that distinguish you from all other people. It’s doesn’t have anything to do with what others are doing or not doing. It’s the art of being YOU!
Reflection
- How could you recognize a struggle of balance in a client between individuality and conformity?
- What are some powerful questions you could ask your client to reflect on this issue?
- How do you see your coaching practice being balanced between individuality and conformity? How can you maintain this balance?
- What do you do as a coach to maintain individuality as a coach?
References
McLeod, S. A. (2007). Simply Psychology; Conformity in Psychology. Retrieved 20 April 2012, from http://www.simplypsychology.org/conformity.html
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