A Coaching Power Tool created by Jill St. Vincent
(Weight Loss & Relationship Coach, UNITED STATES)
The reason I selected the terms as above; I noticed that many of my clients and many of the 20 something generation rely on instant gratification to feel good or to fill their emptiness. When we rely on instant gratification from various substances and material possessions – the high is short lived and the client seems to want more and more gratification experiences or highs.
With time, clients tend to want these experiences to be more frequent and more expensive or costly to the client. Some of the substances I see my clients and people reaching for are: alcohol, food, smoking, spending, and pornography, gambling, attending clubs and dancing when one cannot afford to do so. Another unusual substance is hoarding – a false way to “believe one is filling the void” yet the client is mired in clutter, food, paper, trash, junk – which really clutters the mind.
A few examples of acquiring instant gratification at a materialist level are: clothing, shoes, purses, hair, nails, cars, homes, home furnishings, boats, trips and paintings to name a few. Operating out of Instant Gratification – we are giving our power away. We are putting our life on a back burner. Reaching to instant gratification – at first it feels good, we get a high or we get to numb out. Later it feels like we are pulling dark lenses over our eyes and our world becomes dark and foggy. People often experience anxiety over these feelings and they reach again for an instant gratification moment to soothe the anxiety – it works, so people reach for it again and again. But yet, they are compounding their anxiety and negative beliefs about themselves.
When using instant gratification to feel good – we could be reaching for one of many addictions or substances listed above….when we do this – we are numbing out, checking out and are left with emptiness and sadness because we are not present in our own lives. With instant gratification; we are looking to the future – of acquiring materialistic items to help make us happy, to quill the inner voice in us that questions what we are doing or the voice that criticizes us or tells us that we don’t matter. Probably the worst thing about instant gratification is; we are left with sadness, anger and a sense of emptiness, because we are not present in the lives of our loved ones, our coworkers and friends.
When we come from a place of gratitude – we are living in the moment. When we come from a place of Gratitude – we hold on to our power, we feel empowered, we wonder, what is next and what can I do today that makes a difference in someone or a hundred people or thousands. When we live in this place – we live in a place of outward focus – what can I do to impact my family, my community, my country, my world? When we are living in a place of Gratitude; we can be happy with whom we are inside, wherever we are, whatever we are doing and we can be at peace.
Being grateful for the smallest of things really brings us joy. Some of the smallest, yet profound things to be grateful for are: fresh and abundant water, luxurious sheets, organic fruit and vegetables, bountiful restaurants that serve thousands of different types of food and cuisines. Other things to be grateful for is our family, friends, mentors, our health, peace, our spirit, our mind, air, air conditioning, the roof that protects you from the elements, transportation – subways, a car or a motorcycle.
More things to be grateful are: CD’s and tapes, computers, cell phones, I-phones, electricity, natural gas, rivers, dishwashers, stoves, refrigerators and freezers. Almost all of the items listed above of which we can be grateful for were created by man. Most of the items listed, took an incredible amount of work, research, design, marketing, coordination and timing to provide these items or services to us. That’s all we have to do – is to reach for it and use it. Many of us take for granted the basic level in Maslow Hierarchy of needs. We could not survive more than a few days without water; we could not survive more than 5 minutes without oxygen.
Life is really nice for billions of people, when our basic needs for safety are met, which are: shelter, food and water. Yet there are billions of people where their basic needs are not met. Ironically, when we come from a place of gratitude; good things happen. People that are grateful for what they have and practice daily gratitude – tend to attract better jobs, to attract the right people and circumstances in their life which leads to financial freedom.
With financial freedom, it is easier to purchase a new car, clothing and furnishings for a home. Buying these items may be fun and bring joy –but the main reason to purchase these items is not to feel better about ourselves inside or to check out – but to enhance our life in a practical way and in a way to honor who we are.
Where would one start? To immerse oneself into the beautiful place of Gratitude – one simply can start with anything – especially the things we take for granted and that are necessary for life such as: water, air, oxygen, fresh vegetables and fruit, organic grown meat, grains, bread, oils, heat and shelter.
One could take it one step further by blessing and be grateful for: the soft bed that we sleep on, telephones, cell phones, dishwashers, clothing washer, boots and shoes to keep our feet warm and to protect our feet, freedom of speech, the privilege to vote in one’s country – not everyone enjoys these wonderful privileges. Love of one’s children, spouse, family, friends and community. Be grateful for our lovely oceans, fish, birds, trees, grass, sand, transportation, the internet…..the list can be endless.