Power Tool: Never Enough vs. Organic Self-Fulfillment

A Coaching Power Tool Created by Leslie Thornton
(Weight Loss Coaching, UNITED STATES)

Do you feel like it’s never enough—never enough food, never enough fun, never enough time, never enough money, never enough love, never enough happiness?  It is natural for human beings to consciously search for more, more, MORE as if doing so will somehow complete us, fulfill us.

It’s got to be asked,

How is that working for you?

Oftentimes, living a life of more, more, more can eventually feel like running on a hamster wheel.  I need to have more fun, which means I need to have more money, which means I need to work more or get a second job, which means I am more tired, which means I need to drink more coffee, which means I am more hungry, which means I am more overweight, which means I need to go to the gym more…we could go on and on.

If you’ve been waiting to hear this, allow me to assist you.

STOP!!

Where is this getting you?  Are you really feeling fulfilled?

Perhaps there is a better way.

To achieve organic self- fulfillment, fulfillment from the inside (with peace, love, and faith) instead of from the outside (with cars, houses, food, alcohol, coffee, drugs, etc.), there are actions that can be taken, and it starts with getting to know the TRUE YOU!

1. Realize that having more food, more drugs, more space, more luxury, more ANYTHING external creates good feelings within us.  It’s a rush, and many of us want more! But how can we create good feelings that last without having to add more?
2. Evaluate what your values are.  Knowing your values can assist you in understanding why you do what you do, and want what you want.
3. Examine life through rose-colored glasses.  Take what you normally view as negative, and put a positive spin on it.  Be amazed with how open you naturally become to all situations of life.
4. Know what kind of person you want to be. Take note of who you admire, and know that it’s because it is something you value for yourself.
5. Take action!  Either do similar things that someone you admire does or just do something that speaks to you like practicing meditation, taking a yoga class, joining a chorus, or just making more time for play and being outdoors.

Are you ready to stop running in circles, and start taking powerful, peaceful strides forward?  Hamster vs. peaceful warrior.  The choice is yours.

Coaching Application

Consider the scenario of a client approaching you, the coach, from a seemly place of desperation.  He or she wants to lose weight; they want to lose it fast.  He or she wants to leave their current job ASAP.  Often times these feelings come from a place of I’m not enough, or it’s not enough.  Powerful questioning by the coach could encourage discovery, insight, commitment, and or action for the client.  The client’s assumptions that they need external xyz to happen before they can feel fulfilled could be challenged.  Greater clarity of what the client really wants could be brought to the surface, and new learning may be fostered to move the client towards taking more powerful actions that leads him or her to organic self-fulfillment. 

Questions such as:

• What do you want?
• Why do you want it?
• Is there anything you’re running from?
• Is there anything you could learn about yourself or in general by accepting and working on the situation you are currently in?
• What do you really want?
• What will life look like when you have what you really want?
• How will you feel when you achieve this?
• What actions or structures can be taken or put in place to attain what you really want that will last?

Validating that the client’s desires are worthy of exploring, and that they are supported is crucial to creating a good coaching relationship.

Asking a client to think of someone they admire and why and highlighting that this is something they would like to see come out of themselves more can cultivate deeper thought and transformation.

Reflections

1. What is something in your life that makes you feel like you’re running in circles with?  Something that you just can’t seem to get enough of or feel you need that tires you out.
2. When was the last time you felt at peace with everything that was?
3. How did you attain that feeling?
4. How can evaluating your own external wants assist you in better coaching your clients?
5. What are some red flags that a client may be desperate for satisfaction that could be best handled by going deeper into what may really be going on internally?