A Coaching Power Tool created by Julie Fowler
(AdHd Coach, UNITED STATES)
If we ask ourselves how many ways can one deny or accept something or someone? The list would be endless. But what about denying yourself?
Let’s take diet and exercise for an example.
You could refuse to eat any healthy food or exercise. You believe it’s just meant to be your lifestyle to remain out of shape and unhealthy. You put yourself down and choose to believe you have no other choice but to go without good nutrition and be physically unfit. Even though you drag around and have very little mental or physical energy, you deny that changing your eating habits would be of any benefit. The exercise is another matter altogether, you tell yourself that exercise is to hard and boring and you’re embarrassed to be seen even trying because you feel others would laugh . So as a result you remain uncomfortable and ashamed of your appearance.
A different scenario could be, that you exercise for hours every day and strictly limit many types of foods. You feel pressured by society and friends to look a particular way. You are very unhappy with this lifestyle, but believe that others opinions are more important than your own. You choose to try and please them by denying the life you secretly desire.
As you can see, these are two very different forms of denial around the same subject, food and exercise. However, what if you view these behaviors as something more positive? What if you embrace the attitude of acceptance? In the same eating and exercise scenario, you could believe that because you do not enjoy most healthy foods and the way they taste you simply don’t eat them. The lack of exercise is because you feel physically unfit and it takes too much effort, but you’re okay with it. You do not feel this is a state of denial,(or is it?), but rather a conscious acceptance of your circumstances. After all, if you were meant to eat healthier and exercise, then you would have been given taste buds that enjoy that kind of food and a higher energy level. Either way, you believe you’re happy.
In the second scenario, you are very aware of the drive to challenge yourself physically for long periods everyday. You believe this is empowering, challenging, and invigorating. The choice to eat only particular foods is part of your personal challenge, as a form of self- discipline rather than self-denial. You view this lifestyle as one of conscious choices and healthy living, these are actions you embrace around life style choices you enjoy. Clearly the outcomes are very different depending on the attitudes insights motivations around denial and acceptance.
The greatest barrier to someone achieving their potential is their denial of it. Simon Travaglia
The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we’re afraid. Richard Bach