A Coaching Power Tool Created by Jason Gamba
(Health and Wellness Coach, UNITED STATES)
To occupy somebody else’s property or use somebody else’s equipment in return for regular payments.
Belonging to or done by a particular person or thing.
This power tool targets and focuses on accountability. On my life’s journey, I have discovered a philosophy of living life at 90%. The basic concept is that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it. The driving force behind this rationale is taking responsibility. We become our best selves by remaining grounded and not giving power to others or circumstances that are out of our control. If we respond to every situation knowing we are giving our best and letting go of what is not ours, it will help us take command of our lives and put ourselves on the path to achieving our goals both big and small.
What happens when we rent?
What do we rent in life? Some of us rent homes, some of us rent cars and some rent appliances. What do the owners of those things worry about most? The condition these items will be in upon return, correct? That is why they take security deposits and impose penalties for damage. Why is this necessary? This is due to the fact that renters may not give the proper care and respect to the things they are renting. We may not take the time to make the best choice when we are renting. When we rent and feel something belongs to someone else we may not be as diligent with the upkeep. It belongs to someone else and will be returned at some point in the future. A rental is a finite agreement. A rental is an expense. Why should we respect it?
What happens when we own?
When we own something, we treat it with great respect. We make improvements to the homes we buy. We get upset if our new car gets scratched. We want our appliances to last as long as possible. We put more effort into researching something we plan to buy. If we plan to keep something for 10 or 20 or 50 years we want it to be exactly what we want. We want it to reflect who we are. Something we own is an asset and adds to our net worth. It belongs to us and we do our best to keep it pristine. What gives us this different perspective?
Granted, there are people who may not fit into these descriptions and put great care into the maintenance of things they rent, but let us apply this to our thoughts, actions and emotions. If we give control to others, we are merely “renting” the results as we grant ownership to the other person is responsible for the result. Although our background and experience play a part in our behavior, our thoughts and emotions are ours and ours alone. The things we do and feel are ultimately our responsibility. Taking this into account how can someone else make you do or feel something, short of physical coercion?
What do we allow renting
We need to take our experience and base our lives on our beliefs. What can cause us to allow someone to “rent” space in our lives? There are a number of possibilities.
Fear is often a contributing factor. We may fear something being “our fault” leading us to say someone or something else made us do it. We do not wish to face the consequences. How does fear manifest itself? It keeps us from taking that step to own our actions, thoughts and emotions. The key is to find the inner strength to conquer our fears so we can live our lives according to our standards.
Limiting beliefs may also come into play. How do we get to the point where we believe we cannot do something because we cannot see beyond our limiting beliefs? Acknowledging our strength, intelligence and value drives our ability to take decisive action. Once we recognize such beliefs we may find we hold the key to unlock our limitations and emerge a more complete person.
- How do you feel when another person does something that changes your mood/actions?
- What is introduced by allowing an outside force to be the basis of our feelings or actions?
- What value is there to allow someone else to “rent” space in our lives when we have the knowledge and strength inside us to “own” everything we do and everything we are?
- How can we be accountable for our thoughts and actions if we believe someone or something else created them?
- How do you determine what your limits are?
- What can you achieve by acknowledging your power to own your life?
- Visualize a past event where you felt someone else was responsible for your action or feelings.
- List reasons you felt someone or something else was responsible.
- Think of ways you could have taken ownership of the situation.
- Give some examples of how the situation could have been different if you had taken ownership.
- How did you feel about the end result of the scenario?