A Coaching Model Created by Rizk Mawass
(Life Coach, LEBANON)
It’s Important to remember that we all have magic inside us. J.K Rowling
We Have One Life and Only on planet Earth, and this life is so precious to fulfill our mission and enjoy the great feelings of satisfaction, fulfillment, Happiness and Joy.
Because life coaching is like Magic and can support in transforming life, here is my powerful Coaching Model: ABRACADABRA, where only those who believe in magic can touch it’s manifestation in their lives. And as J.K Rowling said:
we all have magic inside us, so it’s important to be aware of this power and accessing it to fulfill our lives just like life coaching does.
ABRACADABRA means “I will create as I speak” because words are so powerful, they are energy and the cells in our body react to everything that our mind says. The words we use are the projection of the way we think; they are the result of the process in our mental factory.
As a matter of fact, in order to change and transform our lives, we need to go back to this mental factory to define what’s wrong through being aware of the issue, changing the perspective, questioning our belief system, discovering our values, strengths and talents. Later on, managing all those resources together and directing them to make the desired transformation by start getting extraordinary new results through will and commitment.
ABRACADABRA creates an exceptional structure to support the client in achieving the transformation by accessing his potential and live a life of meaning and purpose.
My approach is very flexible to dance with the client who will open his own agenda in order to move from where he is right now to where he wants to be in the future.
I deeply believe that naturally every person on planet earth has huge potential, talents, unlimited resources and creativity to invest in his journey. My Role as a life coach is the partner for who wants to awaken his potential, release his power by creating awareness through critical thinking.
The space I create in the discussion is confidential, trustable, non judgmental, with an active listening and powerful questions where the client will feel safe to bring his thoughts and feelings where I aim to challenge him to reach the best version of himself and fuel his excellence.
ABRACADABRA is my approach to support clients handling their emotions while getting out of the comfort zone, those moments when they are taking risks. My style is a full focus on the client who is the only one responsible of his life, his values and his behaviors to live a life of meaningfulness.
In summary I am his partner of his success and happiness in a fulfilling life.
ABRACADABRA is the result of my personality and my backgrounds. Studying computer engineering taught me the structure of the computer, which is a simple design of the brain that functions by an operating system which is the mind. Our inputs are the senses, our processor is the way we think and our life is the outcome of the way we’ve been programmed.
For those who are aiming in changing or improving their lives, they are looking inside their computers to update the antivirus to be able to handle the stress from the outer world, they are looking to update the software because it doesn’t fit them anymore, they are looking forward to question their own programming because they are not satisfied with its outcome.
In my approach I am targeting people who are seeking to invest the one life and only they have on planet earth in the best way possible by finding their purpose and meaning, living in balance, tasting satisfaction, experiencing peace, reaching success and being mindful of the journey while attaining the desired destination.
My passion is to free people from their underlying beliefs, to release their brakes and blast off toward the best version of themselves. I believe that balance between heart and mind is essential for humans to find satisfaction. We need to feed our emotions as well our thoughts or else they will nag all day creating uncomforted life.
ABRACADABRA Stands for:
How can two people start a relationship without an agreement of what is this relationship??
It’s very important to explain for the client the nature of coaching, it’s a new profession and people’s expectation may not be aligned with the competencies of coaching. People may be looking for advices or fast solutions because we are living in a world where most people are searching for shortcuts. I have made the agreement as a first step in order to clarify everything for the coaching relationship, because higher expectations bring the highest disappointment.
So first I will explain for the client that coaching is not therapy, counseling, consulting or mentoring.
Then I will explain what coaching is. So as a coach I will inform my client that I will be his greatest supporter and advocate towards achieving his goals he desires. It’s good to clarify that the client is the leader in the session and his agenda is the only one to be opened. By deep listening in a safe secure confidential respectful space deprived from judgment I will trigger his critical thinking to tackle his underlying beliefs, find what is stopping him, what are his powers and values to build upon his dream.
As a Coach I am skilled and passionate about pulling out that desire and helping people to take action.
In this part, the flow of energy will help me create a rapport with the client to feel comfortable to share, to trust and to get aligned in order to start the process after we agreed on the base lines.
B: BRING THE TOPIC
It’s time for the client to open up about the current situation, it’s time for allowing the client to elaborate and tell his story why he is here and what the challenge is. In this part I will be able to discover his representational system. Is he kinesthetic, visual or auditory? What are the primary senses In order to understand how the client perceives the world- which is the inner map of reality. What is the gap between where he is and where he wants to be?
R: REQUIRED OUTCOME.
It’s very essential to clarify what is the desired outcome that the client is expecting to reach by the end of the session. Knowing what he is searching for is extremely important to know exactly what the search is all about. Although, most desired outcomes are not really what the client is here for. However, it’s fundamental to respect what the client is aiming as a takeaway.
I will ask the client what he wants to accomplish by the end of the session, what are the measurements, how he knows that he reached what he wants to accomplish because setting the goal is the first step toward working to achieve it so we will never arrive at a destination if we don’t define where it is. The client needs to get specific about what he wants out of the session, and as Zig Ziglar said:
You can’t hit a target you cannot see and you cannot see a target you do not have.
A: ALIGINING VALUES AND BEHAVIORS
A vision without action is daydream and action without vision is nightmare. Japanese Proverb
Before heading to accomplish the desired outcome, it’s crucial to QUESTION this outcome?
As a real partner I need to open the client’s agenda and start searching for values and desires behind the desired outcome and goals?
Are the goals set by the client linked to their deep values?
Are those goals set by him out of a real desire or are they set by the outer world?
So before the client becomes committed, I will check if the goal holds the truth of my client or else he will be wasting energy and time building a skyscraper on sands.
Let’s not rush into working too much on the surface, creating commitment to “fake” goals, let’s think and dig deeper to reach the roots of the goal. Do those roots reach the inner world of the client or are the roots coming from the outer world.
Working on commitment in this case is like trying to change the behavior while the client’s feelings and thoughts are fighting against the change he is trying to make.
Transformation needs to come from within or else it will fade away soon.
The client is not aware of what is going inside his world; he is just seeing the. Furthermore, this is affecting his confidence, self esteem, the way he sees himself, his self trust, his uniqueness, abilities, powers and this is very destructive to his life and self. Because, he will think that he is a failure, but in fact, he is just not interested in the goals set, and they are not linked to his core values and talents!!
So here is a list of POWERFUL QUESTIONS to assist the client in identifying if those goals are real to him:
- What will the achievements of this goal bring into your life?
- Which of your core values does this goal express?
- What is the purpose behind pursuing this goal?
- How you will feel after achieving this goal?
- What does it mean for you, achieving this goal?
- Who are you after achieving this goal?
- What meaning does this goal bring into your life?
- What does this accomplishment mean to you?
- What would the benefits be if you achieved this goal?
- When you think about achieving this goal, how does it make you feel?
So before he starts moving forward in building commitment to achieve goals, let’s first check the meaning of the goal to the client, then we move ahead to other steps.
As a coach I will not only help the client to swim. Moreover, I will support the client find the “why” behind swimming before setting a plan or before becoming committed to achieve the desired goal.
As Friedrich Nietzsche said
If you know the why, you can live anyhow.
To conclude, this step will help the client become aware of his core values and align them to his goal in order to blast off in his own path. I will be very curious by digging deep and support the client to make a self discovery by finding his authentic REASONS to have this goal.
C: CHECKING UNDERLYING BELIEFS
The fastest car in the world cannot move one step forward if the brakes are on, just like human beings who are held by underlying beliefs that are not allowing them to move forward.
It’s necessary to release those brakes and question their origin which is mostly created when we were very young or through experiences but we spent our lives believing they are true, because we’ve never took the chance to question them. They are living in our subconscious mind and driving our lives to unpleasant destinations.
So my role is to challenge the client to question those beliefs, to shake them and free himself from his own brakes in order expand his vision beyond the perceived limitations by reframing perspective, and as Les Brown said: “change your life by changing the stories you tell yourself”. This is how he can experience life in a different way. The client needs to uncover the limitations and beat limiting beliefs in the subconscious mind by being Aware of those brakes as a first step through critical thinking and release them as a second step.
The whole process of coaching is based on creating awareness and new learning for the clients about themselves, their world and philosophy.
However, in this step in particular after checking the underlying beliefs the client will shift his perspective just like a person who is struggling with weak eyes. Then when he wears glasses everything becomes clear, the colors becomes brighter, the horizon expands and accuracy occurs. He will start seeing new things that he never thought they exist, it is like finding the light which is the most essential key to make any transformation; it will allow him to see his thoughts, feelings and behaviors. It’s a moment of observing his life without judgment or interaction, just watching and discovering. Awareness is about meeting his deep values, listening to his gut feeling, to his pure authentic inner voice, meeting his mission, his purpose in life. And as J.K Rowling said: “We don’t need magic to transform the world; we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already” so the first step is to be aware of the magic we hold, because we may be living blinded or with a very week vision but we thought that this is the world, just like a fish who was born in an aquarium thinking that this is the ocean until it has the opportunity to meet the real ocean through Awareness.
Awareness is a base stone in my approach because I believe that finding the real issue is half way to fix it. As well, supporting clients to know themselves, their values will build the foundation of energy to be used as a fuel for excellence. Awareness is the light for darkness to get out of the box.
In this step I will give some space to the client to reflect, to listen to what he said, to visualize, to fly away to watch himself from a far place.
D: DISCOVER THE GIANT
You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you can do there are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind. Darwin P. Kingsley
In this Golden step I will support the client to discover his natural untapped talents, greatness abilities, strengths, intelligences, resources wisdom and personality through assessments like Strengths Finder, DISC, and Enneagram.
We will together work to open the limitations of the mind and discern the untouched treasure deep inside. Sir J. Stephen said once:
Every man has in himself a continent of undiscovered character. Happy is he who acts as the Columbus to his own soul.
Sometimes people doubt themselves because they don’t know how much strong they are.
Dr. Howard Gardner who made a wonderful research about the multiple intelligence’s said:
it’s not how smart you are that matters, what really counts is how you are smart.
So the client will search inside to reveal how he is smart, what talents he owns, and the strengths that make him unique.
Anthony Robbins wrote a wonderful book called “Awaken the Giant Within” to drive people to access their gigantic powers to become unstoppable.
A wonderful old Hindu legend describes the reality very well:
There was once a time when all human beings were Gods, but they so abused their supernatural powers that Brahma, the chief God, decided to take it away from them and hide it in a place where it could never be found. In order to find the best spot, however, he needed to hold a council of the Gods to help him decide.
“Let’s bury it deep in the earth,” said the Gods.
Brahma answered, “No, that will not do, because humans will dig into the earth and find it.”
The Gods replied, “Okay, let’s sink it in the deepest ocean then.”
But Brahma said, “No, not there, for they will learn to dive, and they will find it.”
Then the gods said, “What about the highest mountain top, out in the farthest corner of the earth?”
But again Brahma replied, “No, that will not do either, because they will eventually climb every mountain, scale every peak, search every hidden cave and once again find and take up their supernatural powers.”
The rest of the Gods were exasperated. They threw up their arms in surrender. “There is no place!” they hollered. “The humans will proliferate, and they will find it anywhere we put it.”
Brahma was quiet for a time. He thought long and deep. Finally, he looked up at the rest of the Gods, a knowing twinkle in his eye. “Here is what we shall do,” he said. “We will hide their supernatural powers deep down in the one place they will surely never look – the very center of their own being.”
The rest of the Gods rejoiced. Of course! It was the perfect place! They all formally agreed on it, and the deed was done.
Ages passed, and since that time, humans have been on a desperate and unending search, travelling every corner of the planet, digging, diving, climbing, and exploring – searching for the one thing they know they’ve lost, and just can’t seem to find.
A hint about the powerful questions to be used:
- "What are three of your greatest strengths?"
- "Tell me about some of the biggest challenges in your life? How did you overcome them?"
- "What do you like about yourself
- "What do you enjoy doing?" Because we usually enjoy what we are good at!
- What do you desire to do? Because desire comes out of passion which is the result of a talent
- "What are some unusual skills you have?" The word 'unusual' forces them to think what's different about themselves !
- "What are you proud of in your life?"
- "Tell me about your first achievement."
- What do you get complimented on most?
Acknowledgment and celebration are essential to fueling passion, making people feel valid and valuable.
In my approach I focus on appreciating who the client is, what makes him unique, his greatness, his intent. Because as a partner of the client I need to sincerely appreciate his truth and distinctive character.
William James said:
the deepest principle in human nature is the carving to be appreciated
and Les Brown noted:
No one rises to low expectations.
As a matter of fact, a person who feels appreciated will always do more than expected. Spotting the light on the positive intent will empower the client more to create more of such.
Acknowledgment builds intimacy and creates powerful interactions, and my client deserves to be acknowledged because recognizing good work leads to high energy, great feelings, high-quality performance and terrific results.
B: BUILD COMMITMENT
Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions. And the actions which speak louder than the words. It is making the time when there is none. Coming through time after time after time, year after year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of; the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism. Abraham Lincoln
As a result of what has been discussed in the session, it’s time to test the commitment of the client, his dedication to stay loyal to what he said he is going to do because only the will lead to action. When confronted with a challenge the committed person will search for a solution instead of searching for reasons why he couldn’t reach results. I need to be sure that the client has one reason to achieve and this is enough to face all reasons why he can’t, here I will implement my Reasons VS Results power tool. People fail not because the lack of desire, but the lack of commitment so there’s a difference between interest and commitment. When the client is interested in doing something, he may do it when it’s suitable. However, when he is committed to something, he will accept no reasons – only results.
This step is designed to test the client’s determination, dedication and will to reach his desire, because commitment is the driving force that will make him unstoppable in the pursuit of brining results.
R: REVEAL THE PLAN
The best way to unfold a coaching session is setting a plan of action. How the client will invest his learning to create different results in his life. What is the best way possible to direct all his resources to achieve his desire?
To achieve a particular goal the client needs a clear list of actions arranged in sequential order and built on a timeline. Adding to that, considering all of the things that could go wrong in the process of achieving a particular goal by listing these problems and identify causes and suitable actions to resolve them.
So what is the step he will make to start his new journey? As a coach I will be sure that the client is setting a SMART goal with a concrete plan in place.
It will be the time to direct talents, resources, greatness, intelligence’s, skills, experiences, background, wisdom and all the resources the client have into one area to boost performance just like a laser beam to bring spectacular results.
A: ACCOUNTABILITY AND MANAGING PROGRESS is an ICF core competency.
So as a partner of the client, my role as a coach is to hold attention on what is important for him, and to leave the responsibility with him to benefit from the magic of taking actions.
Research indicates that mirroring the action and intention back to the client strengthens commitment and increases the probability that the action will be undertaken. Moreover, the client will feel supported during the transformation he is making.
Accountability go beyond just following up, because in case the client couldn’t act upon the designed plan, it will be a great opportunity to explore deep rooted patterns of thoughts or low self-esteem. Clients can discover new insights that, when touched and understood, can release them from resisting success and move them toward achieving their deepest desires.
Accountability is not taking the responsibility by being like an authority for the client. However, it’s giving the full responsibility for the client and the best way to address it is by asking:
How do you want to hold yourself accountable?
ABRACADABRA is based on three points:
Coaching can work like Magic for those who find it.